Is it just me

When Superwoman needs a nap



Every holiday it seems I make the same declaration - Someone else needs to step up and make this holiday happen. Yet I found myself (again) hosting Christmas (again) with guests (again) and last minute shopping, wrapping, decorating (again) and cleaning and cooking and cleaning (again) before I jetted off to Mexico where BougieSis caught the flu, gave it to me and I spent New Year's huddled under an electric blanket with antibiotics.

No. Bueno,

I returned to work this Monday to find that not one but two employees were promoted out of my already understaffed team so I was left with a team of one and a half people to do the work of six. I went into a status meeting with a client and of course had my hindparts handed to me because I couldn't commit to taking on any additional work. Oh and it was windchill 12 effing degrees outside so my trek to the treadmill felt like a march across outer Siberia. I made it for 18 minutes on level 1.7 before my lungs revolted and I hacked and coughed my way back to the house.

I'm living so sexy.

And don't get me started on my love life. Really. Let's just let that simmer on the back burner until my energy is back where it needs to be. Suffice it to say dude said he was sorry I didn't feel well, did that mean I wasn't cooking for the game? {Insert epic side-eye here}

Okay, enough whining. Please do not go look in the archives to remind me how many times I say "This year, I'm doing ME!" I lowkey mean it this year. Superwoman needs a nap, the cape needs to be dry-cleaned and the boots require new heels and some polish.

I'll be the writer/blogger/HR Consultant propped up in the corner in Snuggie (do they sill make those?) - How's your new year starting out?

My only thought on #KnowlesSisterGate: I don't know and neither do you


By now, the silent and somewhat disturbing elevator video of Solange Knowles attempting to beat the hell out of her brother-in-law has been seen around the world (too many times over). The speculation of what happened, why, who said what, stood by, took down photos, put up photos, said nothing and so on has reached ridiculously epic proportions.

Lookie here, I don't know what happened before during or after the "alleged" attempted assault. I don't know what sparked it. But I sorta understand. Family dynamics, particularly between sisters can range from a giddy hand-holding dance through the daisies to a tiptoe across a barb-wired minefield. I love my sister like crazy and she feels the same for me but there are times when we want to shoot each other in the pinkie-toe and laugh while driving to the emergency room. Thankfully, we don't have TMZ following us around hoping to catch us in our worst moments.

More importantly there are times where if we had stood in an elevator: her, me, and any number of my previous significant others; she would have been sorely tempted to break off a Texas-style beatdown while I stood in the corner cheering (a la the movie Friday "Kick his ass, Craig!") under my breath. No I don't condone violence (usually) but things happen. There's one ex of mine who bed-not (yes, that's the ebonics way of saying better not or really should refrain from) cross her path after dark. He might not make it, ya'll. I've got one good eye out for one of her exes every time I go to Cali. Accidents happen.

**pausing to giggle fiendishly** But really tho...

Relationships are hard. Contrary to what people would have you believe, they do not exist in a silo. There are friends and family and in this case world-wide media attention and fans up in your business far more often than is healthy. Careers happen, kids happen, moods happen, life happens and all the while you have to decide on a regular basis which relationships in your life are on your way or in your way. Families are hard work. Love relationships are even harder work. It's not all champagne in the back of the limo and surfboarding on the kitchen floor. 

I try not to judge anyone until I've stood and walked in their 5-inch Louboutin's for a minute. There are a million reasons why Solange did what she did. We don't know any of them. Before you blast your assumptions and presumptions about, before you judge any of the people in the situation; recognize that you have no idea (none of us do) what really happens in people's lives. Keep a good thought that all will work out for the best for all parties. And keep it pushing. 

Thoughts, comments, insights? Do share...

One for the ITOFTS files - First date fail, WDDDA?!

*ITOFTS = I'm too old for this shiggity
*WDDDA = Where Dey Do Dat At?

Met a guy in the Wine & Imported Beer section of Central Market about a week ago. We chatted about Chardonnay, preened over Pinot, grinned over Gewürztraminer, murmured over Moscato. You get the idea. Everything is witty repartee when you're perusing bottles of fermented beverage. As I moved towards the seafood counter, he asked for my name and phone number. I gave him my first name and my Google Voice number and went on with my shopping. Let's say his name was Sam.

Sam called today and asked if I wanted to come out and watch football with him. I said sure, where would he like to meet? He gave me the name of a place I hadn't heard of. I questioned, "Where is that, I don't think I'm familiar with it?" He told me where it was and I frowned. The street he named is a notorious red light district. To the best of my knowledge, nothing was on that side of the highway but strips clubs, shady pay-by-the-hour no-tell motels, liquor stores, gas stations, gun stores and a huge Sam's Warehouse. (Quite the combination of retail, don't you think?)

Jokingly I said, "You aren't inviting me to a strip club for a first date, are you?" Silence. Epic silence. And the all the crickets stopped chirping in dismay. I spoke again, "Sam? Is this a strip club?"

"It's an upscale gentlemen's club, not a sleazy titty bar, what's wrong with that? They have great game day specials. I always have fun there." No doubt.

I was literally struck speechless. Like my mouth moved but no words were forming or falling out of it.

He jumped in. "Oh, you're one of those. You're repressed, you need to ease into this. Let me meet you for coffee first."

I stayed speechless. How do you come out of the gate with strip club and then try to fall back to Starbuck's to work back up to the strip club? I finally found my voice. "You know, I think I'll pass. But have a great time."

"What do you mean you'll pass? You don't want to go out today or at all?" Sam sound confused.

That made two of us. I was confused too. The guy who knew more about wine point scales than I ever would and could pontificate about soil in California vs. Argentina producing merlot vs. malbec thought the booty bar was fine entertainment on a first date? It wasn't just the wine conversation, brother gave good grocery store gab. It did not compute. I wasn't in the mood for a mystery. "At all." I answered shortly.

"Wow. You're really narrow-minded. You need to-"

"Sam, I'm going to stop you right there. Before you waste both of our time running game that works on a confused twenty-two year old. Enjoy your day." Click. Pull up Google Voice option. Automatically block number. And done.

People, is it me? Is the strip-club-as-first-date invitation what's hot in the streetz? I'm unable. I don't have anything against "gentlemen's clubs" if people want to pay women to shake their hindparts, I say do you. I have nothing against Cristal and nem getting rained on at the House of Cheeks. It's not my thing. It's most assuredly not my thing on a first date with someone I'm trying to find out more about. To quote the movie Bad Boys, "How do you concentrate with all the scattered ass everywhere?" I don't know. But I will say this... I'm too old for this.

Fellas, would you take a first date to a strip club? Ladies, would you go on a first date? Am I missing something? Please respond...