The first BnB "You need yo' azz kicked" awards...

Well, I tried to stay all introspective and intellectual this week but as you can tell from the title of today's post... we off that. Apologies but sometimes people simply require a boot to be forcibly placed against their hindparts repeatedly.

Here's this week's honorees in no particular order:

1. John Edwards - This is a man once considered a forerunner for the Oval Office. Now? A bit of a douchebag. With his wife barely cold in her grave, he has reportedly asked his mistress to marry him. Who is surprised that before she passed away, Liz made sure to cut old boy straight up out the will? In case any of you are unaware of the rules of etiquette/protocol on this - after a divorce, you're to wait six months before announcing your engagement. After a death (especially when kids are involved), a year. Way to keep it classy, John. Someone go cut me a switch.

2. Tucker Carlson - Typical Faux News talking empty head declared that Mike Vick should executed for killings dogs. He has since "taken it back" but uh, seriously dude?

Regardless of whether you think Mike Vick is the devil or a redemptive figure, the man has done his time, paid his debt to society and deserves to be treated as such. At some point, how many more times does a man have to apologize, hang his head and say he was wrong? Enough already. [So tempted to go on a rant about how human lives were lost because Bush felt like kicking up dust in the Middle East. Anyone found those WMD's yet?! Does no one remember Katrina? I mean if ever there was a need for execution-style justice. Never mind. Moving on.] Actually, I don't care to lift my foot high enough to kick his ass, I'll just trip him as he walks by.

3. John Boehner - What the hell is this spray-tan-addicted idiot crying about? There are NO TEARS IN CONGRESS, fool!

He took over the reins of the House and I immediately felt a twinge of pre-apocalyptic doom. After boo-hooing all over the place, he promptly promised to repeal healthcare and declared this "the People's Congress." Ass. Someone pass me my steel-toe boots.

4. Jan Brewer - Arizona's Governor stays winning. [yes, that's sarcasm] Due to the state budgets she has imposed, two people that were denied transplants (no longer covered) have died. So it's not enough that old girl is stopping and frisking brown skinned folks at random, now she's killing people. When asked about the deaths Brewer said, "It's probably something that should be discussed." Ya think? Someone go get me an old school three inch wide leather belt.

5. Dr. Conrad Murray - I don't know exactly what went down in Michael Jackson's house on June 25, 2009 but something obviously went terribly, terribly wrong. Information keeps trickling out from the preliminary hearings this week. I'm not a doctor but I have them in my family and close circle of friends. Every medical professional I've talked to agrees that restricted medication was administered in dangerous dosages and circumstances without the proper safeguards in place and something real funky happened between the time that MJ stopped breathing and when paramedics were finally admitted to the home. I'm not saying it's Dr. Murray's fault that King Michael done gone on to glory, I'm saying he needs his ass kicked.

I had to hold myself back to five. Do you have someone to add to the list? Any comments, thoughts, insights on my list? The floor is yours.