It's not that @KerryWashington didn't win the #Emmy...

I watched a lot of the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards show. I watched right up until they gave Kerry Washington's award to Claire Danes. And then I turned it off. Immediately.

I have nothing against Claire Danes. I understand her to be a fine actress and Homeland to be a great show. One of the things that hurt my feelings about that Emmy was that here in the year 2013; Kerry Washington, Don Cheadle and Alfre Woodard were the ONLY African American actors nominated. And none of them won. And before I can even begin to tell you how much outrage that causes me, I have to take it back one more step and say...

There aren't enough Black actors working in Hollywood. Particularly not in Emmy-contending vehicles for their talent. It's not their fault, either the roles are not there, they are simply not getting the roles or even given the opportunity to try for them. Studies show that African-Americans watch 37% more television than non-black audiences. So if we have that level of influence, why aren't we demanding to see higher quality shows with people that look like us?

The deck is stacked. Did you take a look at the arrivals, at the audience and the clips they showed? If we played a version of Where's Waldo where Waldo is a working black actor/writer/producer and we drink every time we see one? We'd have been stone cold sober at the end of that three hour stretch. Just parched waiting to get our sip on. If we played Black Actor Bingo, we could use the same card for the Emmys and the Oscars and still never win. I'm just saying...

It's been a long time (1998) since Andre Braugher snagged a trophy for his work in Homicide. I'm still heated that The Wire never won any damned thing. While Treme is not as engaging as The Wire, Wendell Pierce has earned a nod as the complex bay-boy-who-wants-to-do-good musician Antoine Batiste. Khandi Alexander slays every scene she's a part of. Regina King deserved an Emmy for her work on Southland. There were entire episodes where she carried that show. When will Chandra Wilson get her props for her excellence as Miranda Bailey in Grey's Anatomy lo these many years? I could go on but I'll refer you to this meager list of wins and nominations to truly put it in perspective.

Back to Ms. Washington - let's be clear, whether you love or hate Scandal, Olivia Pope is a hard character to play well. She's outwardly beautiful but internally flawed, she's not obvious, she doesn't fit in a box, she's single, childless, a sinner and yet comes across as a completely sympathetic character that you cheer for. You want her happiness like she has been your best friend since third grade. That's a testament to fine writing and stellar acting.

And there's only one character created like that with an African-American female lead. One. At last googling, there are 4728 network, broadcast, cable, independent and over-the-air television channels in the United States with over 50% of those producing content for 30+ hours of programming a week. Out of all of that, we have one well-written brilliantly acted show with a sister girl and she CAN'T get the Emmy?

Thoughts, comments, insights, commiseration? 

*goes back into bougie cave to meditate and burn incense*

Doing Dirt in the Digital Age

Good people, we've touched on this a gazillion times and still some of you bear reminding. We had an entire week talking about Stepping Yo Game Up, we wondered if some amongst us are ever relationship-ready or just too ratchet to even be about the game of love. But here's the reality in 2013 - if you or anyone you know is on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+ (et al) or has an email account that works - your life is not private. No one gets 24/7 privacy any more. It doesn't exist.

Right this minute someone has a picture of you (no not THAT kind... okay maybe that kind if that's how you roll) that you are unaware of. Someone is updating a status that involves you. No, you may not know that girl two people in front of you in line at Starbuck's but she just updated her Foursquare "Time for venti latte" status. If you have a cell phone made after the year 2000 it knows where you are. If you live in (or go through) a city with more than 100,000 people, it is watching you. If you shop online, flip channels on your TV, have a rewards card at the grocery store.... your life is in the cloud. And the cloud knows all.

I remind you of these things because in the past two weeks I've watched more than one relationship implode at def-con 4 levels on the Social Inter Media Net Webs. One was as simple as a guy tweeting about being at Starbucks. Shouldn't have been a problem but his wife thought he was 30 miles in another direction. A click on the Foursquare Starbucks page revealed to the wife who he was with. (Note to sidechicks - do NOT check into places with your illicit boo. That's so not gangsta) Hell followed shortly thereafter.

Another incident involved a woman posting her July 4th BBQ pics on The Facebook. Oops - who are those two canoodling in the background? Someone else tagged them in the pics and the fireworks got real. A third incident involved a parking ticket. The city sent sister girl her violation pic and in the wide shot caught the rear bumper of the car parked next to her. Why, her husband wanted to know, was her ex-boyfriend parked next to her outside a hotel at 2:37pm on a Wednesday? Um. Um. Um. Didn't pay the meter and got busted.

Two weeks ago some dude that I didn't follow got exposed on Twitter as a complete and total fraud. Like all the uplifting, progressive, inspirational ish he'd tweeted for the past five years was stolen from other people and his life was little more than a twin bed in his second cousin's basement. He didn't look like he said he looked, he didn't believe what he said he believed, he didn't live how he said he lived. Something about an Instagram pic, it went viral and all 24,000 of his followers rose up en masse to beat him down. 

Last but not least was the Trapped in the Twitter Closet drama that popped off over the weekend. I missed a lot of it (Amen) but apparently wife and baby mama get together to expose a dude as deadbeat dad in the Twitterverse when out pops his gay lover from the closet to spill the rest of the tea. Dude's mentions looked like East Beirut circa 1985. Seek shelter, destruction is imminent.

If you are out here shooting bad in the Digital Era you need to have your i's dotted, t's crossed and witnesses silenced (not in a homicidal way). There are eleventy million ways to get tripped up, slipped up and outed that didn't even exist from a technological standpoint ten years ago. Do you know how much 007 you need to have about yourself to tell a lie and leave the house these days? 

I'm not going to lecture about morality and why truthiness is your best life option cuz really, folks are grown. Live how you want to live. But for those out there trying to get away with something, I ask you... is it worth it?

BougieLand, know anyone busted by the technology of it all? Thoughts, comments, insights?

Main Stream Media can't help but paint FLOTUS as "Angry Black Woman"

Some chick decided to try the First Lady at a fundraiser and got her feelings hurt. From Washington Post:

First lady Michelle Obama experienced a rare face-to-face encounter with a protester late Tuesday – approaching the activist and threatening to leave a fundraiser if the person did not stop interrupting her speech. 

Obama was addressing a Democratic Party fundraiser in a private Kalorama home in Northwest Washington when Ellen Sturtz, 56, a lesbian activist, interrupted her remarks to demand that President Obama sign an anti-discrimination executive order.

Obama showed her displeasure – pausing to confront Sturtz eye to eye, according to witnesses.

“One of the things that I don’t do well is this,” she said to applause from most of the guests, according to a White House transcript. “Do you understand?”

A pool report from a reporter in the room said Obama “left the lectern and moved over to the protester.” The pool report quoted Obama as saying: “Listen to me or you can take the mic, but I’m leaving. You all decide. You have one choice.”

Obama’s suggestion that she would leave was not included in the official White House transcript.

The audience responded by asking Obama to remain, according to the pool report, which quoted a woman nearby telling Sturtz, “You need to go.”

Sturtz was escorted out of the room. She said in an interview later she was stunned by Obama’s response. “She came right down in my face,” Sturtz said. “I was taken aback.

I'm sorry, you all know I usually don't use language like this but my first thought was "B*tch, please". She was taken aback? Because she thought she could say any damn thing and it would be alright? 

Mrs. Obama's firm but polite response is below:

As per usual, the media backlash has been over-inflated and belittling. CodePink has suggested that Mrs. Obama should have been coached years ago on how to handle situations like this. Other outlets referred to FLOTUS as "threatening" and "angry". I'm sure there is more shiggity to come. To this I say - For real though? People paid from $500 to $10,000 to attend a dinner to hear the First Lady of the United States speak and she is supposed to stand there and get yelled at? No indeed.

It would have been different if she had gone all Shaquandeesha on old girl threatening ass-kickings and wagging her finger in her face but no, she politely asked that the woman shut it down and carry her raised-by-wolves ass on. 

And truthfully, it was time that someone shut that heckling bullshiggity down. It's disrespectful, rude as hell and quite frankly, unprecedented. Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama is not here for that. Don't come for her unless she calls you, okay? 

There is nothing wrong with a black woman showing displeasure when an entitled white woman (or anyone for that matter) gets out of line. FLOTUS has been more than gracious with people that I would have slapped silly and kept it pushing. But as per usual, media outlets have to play to the stereotype and paint FLOTUS as some random reality show chick yanking hair and calling folks all manner of b*tches. 

There's a difference between being angry and out of pocket and just keeping it real. I don't see anything wrong with the First Lady of the United States of America asking to be respected when she speaks and I have zero patience for those who would try to make it into something it wasn't. 

Are you sick of it? I know I am. Thoughts, comments, observations?

Trayvon, Ta-Tas and TP

I'll admit it. I do tend to pontificate on numerous and varied things from time to time. Often I'm asked for my opinion, many times I have one. (Other times I really don't) Sometimes I get asked the same thing over and over again. Here are the things that after this post, you need not ask me about again...

1) The Trayvon Martin trail - I posted about the horrific tragedy that is Trayvon Martin's murder before it became front page news. My opinion has not and will not change. George Zimmerman is a racist asshole killer who gunned down a defenseless child for being the wrong color in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Unless we are considering Skittles a weapon of mass destruction. :-/ To add injury to insult, Zimmerman has hired equally morally-deficient counsel who intend to murder Trayvon all over again through victim-blaming, playing to racist stereotypes and anything they can come up with to muddy the jury pool. I hate this type of character lynching like Rush Limbaugh hates the truth (and a salad) and no, I'm not here for it. At all. So you can put that one to bed. At no time will I suddenly believe that Zimmerman was justified in killing that boy. At. No. Time.

Any questions? Next...

2) Angelina Jolie's ta-tas: Listen here, BougieMom survived breast cancer twice. I wouldn't wish what she went through upon anybody. Not any living being. Her blessings were multiple but the largest two came in early detection, aggressive treatment and the fact that she had the "less lethal" (yes, someone actually referred to it as such) form of breast cancer. If I was told that I had a 85% chance of getting what she had, they could have the girls tomorrow. Just take them. Before they kill me. Cancer runs in my mother's family and it's something all of us stay vigilant about. Angelina's mother dies of ovarian cancer, her aunt just passed of breast cancer. Her decision to have a double mastectomy now and an oophorectomy (ovarian removal, yes I had to look it up) this summer could not have been easy but she deemed it necessary to prolong her life expectancy. How do people have a problem with that? She has a gajillion kids who need a mom. Moving beyond the medical realities of the situation - who in the hell feels it's their right to scold or judge Angelina for what she chooses to do with her body? Her boobs are not our business, celebrity or not. And for the uninformed about BRCA mutations, please read before you speak up on it.

3) Tyler Freaking Perry's new shows on OWN - Ya'll, really? If you like his work and wish to support it, do you. I think I've been clear on his writing style and my opinion of said skill set. And that's I have to say about that. Quit asking.

Care to break down your thoughts on Trayvon, Angelina or TP so it will forever and always be broke? Do share....

Prom dates, past missteps and present witch hunters

Dear 6 lb, 8 oz Baby Jesus - do not let me be judged for my prom date. When I saw that someone felt it relevant to dig up and publish pictures of our 44th President's prom, I rolled my eyes so far to the left and back to the right. Because for why... really?

My prom date, who went by the classy moniker of Duck, is in the penitentiary... again. To say our paths were divergent is an understatement but me from 20 years ago thought he was fine and exciting and different.  My parents thought he was a felon. Turns out they were right. Should I be judged lo these many years later for my judgment at 18 years of age?

This past week, Nouveau Beau and I had some (limited) discussion about one of my exes. (If you missed the crazy tale of PsychoMike, go ahead and enjoy) Turns out that Nouveau Beau knows PsychoMike by professional reputation and it ain't good. Since it's been over 12 years since I dated PsychoMike, he just shook his head and said, "Well now you know better." He then went on to say that he didn't want to know about my other exes. They had no place in our relationship so let's just leave them out of it. Whew! It was all I could do not to get up and praise dance in the middle of the restaurant. 

I admit I haven't always had the best taste in men and/or when I did choose well things had a way of going south (or left or whichever direction means no bueno). I own up to my part in these dissolved relationships but I sure didn't relish having to tiptoe down the long-ass highway of Doomed Relationships Past with him. I mean some of you all have been reading the blog for a while... it's a lot to take in. Particularly all at once. 

A girlfriend of mine has just started dating again after a particularly bitter divorce. Her new man is great but his sister? She is straight CSI'ng everything about Rosa's past. Rosa said, "I wonder if this is how Obama feels, having everything he ever said or did, anyone he ever dated under scrutiny by someone looking for the absolute worst spin." I said of course it is but then she could multiply it by a gazillion media outlets with millions of dollars behind them. The witch hunt is real.

All of this to say - should we really be judged by the people we've dated in the past? Okay, maybe in the recent past, yes but ten plus years ago? Is there a statute of limitations on relationship missteps and if so, what should it be? 

Do share....