I love Black Men but sometimes you Drive Me Crazy

I love Black Men but sometimes you're like a Britney Spears Song: Drive Me Crazy.

Brothers, I love ya. Strong brothers, right and wrong brothers, (cue the Angie Stone song please)… you're all (for the most part) okay by me. I harbor no deep seated issues and believe that one of ya'll (somewhere, possibly swimming over from the MotherLand) is meant for me. But in the meantime (whilst I await his arrival); it's imperative that I get to understanding you better. To assist me in my quest for knowledge, I've invited along an excellent specimen of black maleness: Damon from This May Concern You.

There are some things that men do that drive women crazy. Just send us straight into that whole Mars vs Venus planetary swirl that frustrates everyone and solves nothing. So before we go there, let me just ask you this:

  • What's up with your relationship with the remote control? Okay, all electronics. I'm a techie girl myself but I don't freak if the "MENU" button falls into hands other than my own. I don't spend hours reviewing speaker voltage to determine the best configuration for surround sound… what gives?

    A remote is to a man what a make-up bag is to a woman, or something like that. But more than anything else, a remote is what its last name says it is: control. And without control of the remote, there's a chance that you might have me watching Golden Girls reruns or Project Runway, and as Luvvie might say, iCant. Control of the remote is assurance that I won't want to bang my head against a wall once I'm out of your presence.

  • Is your car really an extension of your male appendage? Just asking cause you get real lover-like with your vehicles. Please explain.

    For some, it is. For me, I've never cared that much. Some guys have been able to distinguish every single car by make and model since they were six. I've never got it. Do I understand it? Sure, it's like a woman and her closet (Although a man should have a good closet full of clothes and nice kicks, too). But to some women, their wear tends to be part of their definition. For a man, his ride can be that.

  • Any genetic coding that makes it difficult for you to consistently put a toilet seat down?

    Men are predisposed to the idea that you should look where you sit, kinda of like you look both ways before you cross the street. Thus, we don't worry about dropping the toilet seat for those without said disposition. But I have a question for the women that I ask anytime someone asks me about the toilet seat: How long should a roll of toilet paper last and why y'all as a sex always seem to slash the life expectancy of a roll in half? Lol.

  • Why is it so hard for a man to admit that he's wrong? Or lost? Or sick? Or just flat out doesn't know what he's doing?

    You know, I find this one to be a matter of ego that's not restrictive to just the male sex. The woman to accept a man's opinion that her car battery is dead and needs to consult her father who's 2,000 miles away is no different from the man who drives in circles and won't consult his GPS or stop at a gas station. You just have to learn to set aside pride and ask for/accept help. People think pride is a hard pill. No, it's a chewable. Humility is the pill most people can't get down.

  • Why will you not erase ex-girlfriends' numbers from your phone without us bugging you to hell and back about it? Why are you keeping the number of some chick you kissed once in the Cancun airport 9 years ago? Is it just wishful thinking? Nostalgia? Help me out.

    I don't delete numbers. Ever. I have the number of a South Beach tattoo artist who did some intriguing art. I have no tattoos and will never get one. Ever. The number's just there I guess. I'm sure there are at least 100 numbers in my phone book I haven't dialed in three years. Some of them are exes or girls I've talked to and it's no big deal. But to the question, a woman shouldn't know whose number is in her boyfriend's phone or care because it's *his* phone. If a guy needs to delete them to move on, so be it. Some guys don't need that "delete everything" attitude to move on.

Hmm, I'm going to give a respectful side-eye to some of these answers but turn it over to you, BougieLand... whatcha think about these questions and these answers?