Let me begin with the disclaimer, I'm not saying that Black Men are any more or less sexy than any other XY-chromosome carrier out there. I'm stating, for the purposes of I Love Black Men week, that the confident brothers bring a considerable amount of sizzle to the table. Can we all agree? Okay, thank you. Moving on…
I happen to have a particular weakness for the tall chocolate brothers (especially dressed all in black), but the beauty of the brotherhood is – I can definitely find something to visually appreciate in the whole pale to baked spectrum. I know we all hate the word swagger but until someone comes up with a substitute… I can't think of anything sexier than a well put together brother striding along with that swagger. The key to the swagger is walking as if you have on a custom-made Armani tux, even when you're rocking sweats. This works. Seriously, you can sit there and watch the women's eyes follow THAT guy as he passes by.
And now of course, a BougieTale to illustrate my point:
Years ago (in other words, I was young and don't judge me), I was at a club on a second date with a fella that I was decidedly wishy-washy about. He looked great but the conversation game wasn't up to par and he had the tendency to say things in the form of a question instead of a statement (confidence fail). At any rate, I was a little confused and irritated because he brought me to a club but did not want to dance. Due to the decibel level in there, we really couldn't talk. So we basically sat perched at a table sipping drinks… awkward. About thirty minutes in, he got up to get more drinks. The minute he left the table, a tall piece of chocolatey goodness appeared at the table. "Since he's clearly not the one for you, I figure I still have a shot. I'm Khari, you are my next girlfriend." And he sat down with a flash of truly pearly white teeth. (another weakness) Maybe it was his confidence, maybe it was his definitive fineness or maybe I just wanted a viable out… either way, his line worked.
I sat chatting with him until old boy came back from the bar and gave us both the sour side-eye. Khari said, "Hey, I was just keeping your date company. My bad." He got up and slid his business card into my purse before hitting me with the direct unblinking eye-contact, smiling and walking away. My eyes followed him as he went. Pure sizzle. When I reluctantly swung my eyes back to my date he said, "Come on, I know I look better than that guy." In looks and physique yes, in confidence and attitude no. But I didn't articulate all that, I just shrugged. Need I say Khari and I dated for six months before he left to go to Georgetown Law School. Hmm, wonder where HE is now?
One more BougieTale then I'll wrap it up:
When I worked in Los Angeles the second time (long story), I worked at a small minority-owned defense contractor. My life there was a large slice of misery pie. The guy I was seeing lived clear on the other side of the country, I had only a few friends (some of which were off the chains needy) in LA and no family there. My commute was hell, I wasn't making enough money and the people I worked with were certifiable. My bright spots were every other week when the SO flew out to spend time with me. One week, he came in on a Thursday and I was supposed to have Friday off. Knowing this, we cut a little loose Thursday night and drank all manner of colored liquors that should never be mixed together. (Warning – never mix Alize and Mango Rum with Pear Vodka – just don't do it). At seven a.m. Friday morning (after 2 hours of sleep) my home phone then my cell phone rang in rapid succession. The third time, I answered and it was my crazy VP. Emergency yada yada, have to come in for an hour; we need you right now, yada yada. As the SO pulled on clothes he said, "I'll drop you off but I'll be back exactly in one hour." I nodded and off we went.
As I hopped out of the car, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back in. He gave me a kiss that was wildly inappropriate for my office parking lot and said, "We have things to do today, one hour or I'm coming in there." Ooo-kay, I got the not-so-subtle hint. An hour and a half later, I was still in a meeting with these folks and nervously looking at my watch. Ten minutes later, the door swung open. The SO had cleaned up, had the Italian suit on, fresh shave, blingy watch and all. In short, he looked good. He announced, "Michele has to go." Now I was in a room with my CEO, VP, and three former 4-star generals who were all sitting with mouth agape. He walked around the table introducing himself and shaking hands with everybody. They were too charmed and dazzled to do anything but greet him back. When he got around to me, he took my hand and lifted me out of the chair resting his hand on the back of my neck, "Ready babe?" Well, I was kinda frozen what with the entire executive leadership council staring in rapt fascination. He whispered in my ear, "Or we could just do what I want to do right here, up to you." Okay, then – the room took on a very bom-chicka-bom-bom vibe. I (bright red now) said to the room at large, "I'm so sorry, I did have a personal day planned and I need to get back to it." My CEO (a black female) grinned and said, "Apparently so." I grabbed up my stuff and we headed out. That's really all of the story you all need to hear. J
My point… swagger works. Especially when you can back it up. Thoughts?