Ninety-effing-two on the "Marriagability Matrix" - An ITOFTS Bougie Bachelorette Chronicle

*ITOFTS = I'm Too Old For This Shiggity

I recently had a man tell me that I was 92% of what he was looking for. 

Wait for it...

But he really needed that other 8%.


Knowing that "You can take that 92% and stuff it up your anal-retentive anus" was a bit snide not to mention circular in logic and clearly not the right thing to say, I nodded and replied. "Go find it. And good luck."

He later called and tried to explain this "marriagability matrix" that he had in his mind but by that time I was so pissed off that I let loose a string of Beyonce lyrics strung together from all of her albums and punctuated them by slamming the phone down.

For those who are curious, the matrix had the top ten things you absolutely require in a life partner and then you score 1 - 10 on each item to come up with the total number. For giggles (after pear vodka shots), I did a matrix on dude. He was a 72. Did I tell him that? Hell yes I did when he called BACK to say we were just on a break and he needed time. I need no more time to wait on a 72 to get his mind right. Again.

This got me to wondering - if you had to rank your spouse/s.o. on a marriagability matrix - what might you put on it and how might they score? How would you score? Now don't go kicking up dust in your happy homes to feed my curiousity. I asked this question of several married and long-standing relationship couples I know and rarely did they rank each other higher than an 81. And they were happy about it. That's a B. 

I was a 92 and he walked. Say it with me now - I'm too old for this shiggity. We don't have to hold a requiem for this relationship, I'm already onto the next. Cuz apparently in addition to being an A-, I'm a serial monogamist and a glutton for punishment... :-/

Do you believe in rankings/criteria when it comes to choosing a mate or just go with your gut/heart? Do tell...