There was a blog with an article (not linking to it cuz I don't want to) where a double-degreed professional black woman shared a recent dating story. She went out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend and after a pleasant meal and chit chat, she asked if he would like to sleep with her. He declined. End of story?
Ur... um no. She was tart. She asked him why not and he said he didn't want to "go there" with her again. She asked him what that had to do with the itch she wanted to scratch that evening. He kinda fled after that. The writer went onto say how irritated she was that he turned her down, in a very "how dare he" way. She also had some yada-blah about how discriminating she was about her sex partners and didn't get the opportunity to swirl the cocoa that often so she was extra tart about dude saying no.
This confused me. First, if you are just looking for scratch-an-itch cocoa why are your standards so high? Let's be real, if girlie is only trying to get down with 7-figure double-degreed brothers with 1000-thread count sheets... her cupboard is going to be bare for a while. Seriously, if she's just looking to get done you don't need Vanderbilt, Virginia Tech will do. (No shade to VT bruhs cuz really in this scenario, Virginia Avenue round-the-way will do)
Next, there seemed to be an expectation from this writer (and in many of the women talking about it) that if a woman asks a man for sex, he is obligated to say yes. There also seemed to be a pervasive attitude that men are passing it out with double coupons anyway so why not give it up when asked?
Isn't that kinda like someone rolling up on a rich guy saying, "You have plenty, let me hold a few thousand?" Beg pardon?
Let's look at it like this. If the genders were reversed in this story and a guy was complaining about his ex not serving up the cocoa just because he wanted some, we would be calling him the worst flavor of objectifying hound dog.
I understand that the vijayjay is a commodity which some consider a form of legal tender, a bargaining tool, a most coveted prize in some cases. Where as those manly bits tend to be nestled together in the "buy 3, get one free" bin at the discount store. As one comedian stated, "P! is expensive but d! is free."
But are ladies so deep into their own entitlement that they expect hot bubbling cocoa on demand from whomever they've chosen to delivery it? We would beat a brother down who acted like cocoa was a right and not a privilege. Even if you're in a relationship, there's no cocoa guarantee. As a friend of mine told her husband,"You'll get what I give you and you'll like it or get none." Boom. Imagine if dude in the story had said that to old girl? Whoa.
One of the most telling comments came from a young lady who said, "I've never had to ask. But if I did and he turned me down, I'd just ask someone else." And there it is.
Don't men have just as much right to say "No thank you" as women do? Can't they withhold, lock it down, go celibate without women putting them on blast? Do women just assume that if they are offering, men are saying yes? Fellas, have the tables turned? Are you getting pressure to give up the good-good? Is that what's hot in the streets? Please discuss...