This may be harsh but um… she/he doesn’t want you.

I was going through my emails and I stumbled across these following two gems. They seemed like a matched set. Let me first say that some people are making things far more complicated than they have to be. Sometimes the simple answer that is right in front of you is the best answer. Thanks to these two, let’s go ahead and launch an episode of Ask a Bougie Chick. To protect their anonymity, I’ve renamed the writers. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Dear Chele –
What does it mean when a girl stops returning your phone calls or texts for no reason? Everything was fine for two months and then all of a sudden she went radio silent. I haven’t been able to get her on the phone for the past three and a half weeks. She’s still updating her Facebook though. What did I do? I don’t want to harass her but I’d really like to know what happened. What’s the best way to handle it?
~Clueless in Cleveland

Hi Clueless. Listen, sweetheart - When a woman stops returning your calls, she has nothing to say to you. I have no idea why this happened but since it has… move on. You may never know what flipped her light from green to red. She may have met someone else or changed her mind or any number of things she doesn’t care to share with you at this time. It totally sucks, I get it but for her it’s over. After two unreturned phone calls and/or texts just let it go. You’re on the edge of cyberstalking. Walk away, sir. It’s just that simple. I’m sorry. Onto the next. Good luck to you, stay up!

OneChele –
I’ve been friends with a guy I really like for over three years. For the past six months, I have given him every sort of hint and opportunity that I want more but he does not seem to pick up on it. I cannot be any more obvious. The last time I tried to make a move, he kind of laughed and said girl, quit playing around. I feel like he is attracted to me but something is holding him back. He’s not seeing anybody and neither am I so I think the time is now. Any suggestions of what I can do to take it to the next level?
~Frustrated in Florida

Hey Frustrated. Girlfriend, can you shape-shift into someone else? Cause old boy does not want you. I apologize if that’s harsh but let me play this back for you. You’ve been in the Friend Zone for three years, you’ve done everything up to and including tossing the good-good in his face at which point he laughed and asked you to stop. He is free to be with you but chooses not to be. What gives you the idea that he’s attracted at all? Never mind, it’s not important. What is important is that you take a quick dip in the reality check pool today. He’s your friend, if he wants to be more – he’ll let you know. If you can live with that, then you still have a friend. If you can’t, it might be time to move on. Good luck to you!

What say you BougieLand? Was there some nuance I was missing here or are these situations about as black and white as they can be? Are folks deliberately turning a blind eye to what’s obvious? After how many unreturned calls do you give up? How long do you stay in the Friend Zone when you desperately want out? Inquiring minds want to know… the floor is yours.