Comments on BougieLand: …and apparently I’m not “black enough” for black f...

You were right on point with this post. My two pet...

2010-09-15T19:49:17.517-05:00

You were right on point with this post. My two pet peeves are (1) asking a black women what she's mixed with. Some people find it difficult to believe that even the most fair-skinned person may be "100%" black (I also have a problem with defining someone using percentages but I won't go there today). My pet peeve number two is the whole "sounding white" phenomenon.

I don't even bother trying to explain my issue when these terms are used. It's a waste of time. On to the next one.

I think what turns me off more than anything is th...

2010-09-15T19:49:17.169-05:00

I think what turns me off more than anything is that what is usually just one being "professional" or plain old acting like they got some sense in professional settings is considered acting white. I grew up in the hood so I can definitely cut loose and get down-right country in my speech or way of expressing myself but I believe there's a time and place for everything. I don't let it all hang out on the job and I would be that way even if it was an all black company with not one white face in the bunch. In my opinion it's all about knowing how to carry yourself in a professional setting and that doesn't mean you have to "talk white" to do that.

Dockers? Dockers. I have a few pair of Polo Khakis...

2010-09-15T19:49:16.787-05:00

Dockers?
Dockers.
I have a few pair of Polo Khakis for when I know I may get dirty - but either Jhane Barnes or Armani (Colectioni not Exchange) are more my estilo.
I scored a 370 but I'm still Black.

Not sure I agree with your points but definitely t...

2010-09-15T19:49:16.030-05:00

Not sure I agree with your points but definitely thought worthy. I actually don't mind how we label ourselves (bougie, ghetto, country) as long as we realize that when the day is done, we're all in this together.

And repeat often... as needed.

2010-09-15T19:49:15.715-05:00

And repeat often... as needed.

A side note: Everything is a stereotype. It is a l...

2010-09-15T19:49:15.304-05:00

A side note: Everything is a stereotype. It is a lose/lose situation. If you are a educated black person, then you are not "black enough". If you grew up in the hood, then you are ghetto and ignorant. What????? This is just crazy.

Anyway, I took the test...I am a caramel swirl {shrugs shoulders}. When I was in elementary school, kids always assume I was "mixed". Why? My hair texture. They said, "Oh, you have pretty long hair..Are you mixed?" Huh? My answer: No I am not and what is mixed? LOL.... They're response: "I mean, do you have Indian in you because black people don't have long hair like that." {Rolling my eyes and sighing as I write this} It is just crazy. Parents need to stop spreading their ignorance to their children...they will be better off. LOL ;)

Oh yeah I forgot....Um, black people are not a monolithic group. We come from diverse backgrounds and speak multiple languages. My family and I speak spanish (coughing on me speaking spanish part..wink) as well as other languages. Repeat after me...WE.ARE.DIVERSE.GROUP.OF.PEOPLE. :)

That little girl in the picture cracks me up. Clas...

2010-09-15T19:49:14.842-05:00

That little girl in the picture cracks me up. Classic! Her face reflects my feeling on being lectured by the MOST pompous "look at my Ivy League degree" black dude I have ever met about how I wasn't accessible enough to other black people. Srsly dude?

Amen.

2010-09-15T19:49:14.331-05:00

Amen.

I took the quiz and received a score of 350. The t...

2010-09-15T19:49:13.517-05:00

I took the quiz and received a score of 350. The truth is I am who I am because I took advantage of the opportunities that my parents sacrificed to provide for my siblings and myself. However, when people meet me and one of my younger sisters they never ever think we are sisters because she and I are opposites. She takes pride is being what she calls ghetto and loves to tell me how Bougie I am. I am a well educated person who is always looking to improve myself if that makes me Bougie I will take that.

Flatlined. LOL!!

2010-09-15T19:49:13.183-05:00

Flatlined. LOL!!

"Oh, I never knew another black person who ow...

2010-09-15T19:49:12.859-05:00

"Oh, I never knew another black person who owned real diamonds before." WOW!!! Where was that hood rat from? My family is nowhere near rich, but I remember my grandfather bought my little cousin a pair of (real) diamond earrings for her 2nd birthday and I bought her another (real) pair when she graduated high school. Now if my cousin had 2 pairs of real diamond earrings before she was 18; what would ole girl think about my family? Again we ain’t rich at all.

Whew!!! Amen and amen and amen prima! I grew up ...

2010-09-15T19:49:12.456-05:00

Whew!!! Amen and amen and amen prima!

I grew up in the whitest white places and schools and never had a fraction of the experience with racism I've had since moving to a more "urban" setting. High school was absolutely the worst for me. I talked like a white girl, dressed like a white girl, even had a white girl butt!

It was a terrible time for me and I distinctly recall wanting to disassociate myself from most brown people. I didn't have the opportunity, of course, but I found myself (and still sometimes do) extremely uncomfortable around large groups of "us".

It wasn't until I was older and had begun to mature a little in my thinking of how people are influenced and how we behave that I started to change my view. I had a professor who shared with us her theory of "race" and how it is simply a created tactic to divide and conquor.

In the human species, there is no such thing as race. We are all human and there are things that differentiate us as INDIVIDUALS but not as separate classifications within one universal group. Granted, there are some things that are more prevalent in particular genetic structures, but as common as those instances may be, they tend to reach more than just one group, regardless of the level.

Anyway...there will probably always be folks of all shades who are angry or jealous or otherwise feeling disenfranchised by something they can never, ever hope to control.

It is a shame and short of drastic medical measures (or some really good shoe polish) we can not change what we look like in terms of skin color nor can we determine what our children look like (and God-forbid that we ever will be able to).

My ancestry is rich, multi-national and "colorful" and truth be told, no matter what colors you mix together, if you keep mixing, eventually it will all turn brown (or some weird shade of gray...but you get the jist).

We're all just people, people!

I grew up in the suburbs with parents who were bot...

2010-09-15T19:49:12.131-05:00

I grew up in the suburbs with parents who were both educators, so I was often reminded not to end a sentence with a preposition if I said something along the lines of ; "Hey mom where is the remote at? " My speech was never, ever an issue while growing up, because all of the black folks I was around sounded and acted in the same manner as my family and I. My "blackness" was never called in to question, hell, I wore pearls and K-Swiss gym shoes in 12th grade and was voted "Best Dressed" if that gives you any indication of my surroundings. The problems came in to play when I graduated from college and had a brief fascination with the brothers who made their money in the streets. Oh, the female relatives of these men declared me "funny acting" and the friends of these men questioned why I was "really coming around" It used to bother me , but I learned that everybody's experiences were not like mine and took it for what it was worth-not much. Life goes on.

Talked to my husband about this. He is from DC, gr...

2010-09-15T19:49:11.797-05:00

Talked to my husband about this. He is from DC, grew up going to urban public schools, scholar athlete type. He told me that one day he was walking down the hall and a couple guys approached him. One was like, hey...that's Chris. The other guy was like "yeah...he's that readin' nigga". Wow.

Guess some folks haven't gotten off the plantation yet.

In one of my first HR jobs I was interviewing for ...

2010-09-15T19:49:11.437-05:00

In one of my first HR jobs I was interviewing for administrative assistants. One young woman that I interviewed over the phone came into the office for an interview. When I stepped into the lobby to pick her up, she said "You know, you don't sound black on the phone". While there are several ways to respond to this, my thought was .... and you think now I'm going to give a job? As we like to say here in Bougieland - I thinks not.... NEXT!

That's telling 'em girl!

2010-09-15T19:49:11.059-05:00

That's telling 'em girl!

I took the quiz and came out black coffee, no suga...

2010-09-15T19:49:10.686-05:00

I took the quiz and came out black coffee, no sugar, no cream. LMAO!

I'm glad you opened the discussion on this because my daughter is mixed race and though she is only 5, she is already getting the questions at school from blacks and whites. When your daughter asks you what color she is - it just takes you an adult place you never thought you'd have to go. So you start out explaining how everyone is the same on the inside, we just come in flavors. The next night she decides she is "butterscotch brownie" and I am "fudge brownie" and her teacher is "sugar cookie"! Yes, I'm hoping she can keep associating races with dessert for a long time to come.

Haha I am caramel swirl. Looks like my blackness ...

2010-09-15T19:49:10.306-05:00

Haha I am caramel swirl. Looks like my blackness hasn't fully receded. I will let all my high school classmates back home know lol.

This article resonates with me. When I was in High School and Middle School (I went to majority black public schools) I was the "black white guy". The reason why? I actually paid attention in class. Cared about report card day, actually tried to get into gifted/AP classes, took education seriously. never could quite figure out how my blackness was tied to maintaining a level of ignorance and subservience to the "superior" intellect of our white counterparts. Leave that brain stuff to the white folk and asians, clearly that is their forte right?

It is this idea that being black is somehow about EMBRACING separate but UNequal. You're not black until you stereotype yourself as weave-having, cubic zirconium wearing, negro-dialect talking, uneducated acting, and hoop-dream having.

But really the only measure of how black or non-black I see in MY eyes is how you include or dis-include people of your own race when it comes to defining a black "culture."

Well now the Black Hair Debate is topic enough for...

2010-09-15T19:49:09.829-05:00

Well now the Black Hair Debate is topic enough for a week's worth of posts.

So you've decided to just dish up the truth fo...

2010-09-15T19:49:09.451-05:00

So you've decided to just dish up the truth for Black History month, hmm?

My latest encounter was in reference to my hair with has always been long and thick. A church elder told me I was setting a bad example by getting a weave. Suggested that I should go natural to make the young girls proud of our heritage. ?!?! As you say, the Hell? So when I told her that this was not a weave, she said "Oh, I didn't know you were mixed."

I couldn't even check her on the number of ways that entire conversation was ignorant... no - ignant.

Sigh I have to say the title of this blog Black ...

2010-09-15T19:49:08.891-05:00

*Sigh* I have to say the title of this blog Black 'n Bougie turns me off.
I've read the reasons behind the title and your definition of Bougie and ehhh.... * Kanye shrug*. My mental schema for " Bougie' is social segregation. Although, I'm this race, I'm not like them “over there", I'm a different kind of black person. The truth is we are all different kinds of black people even within the same social stratosphere. I love to paint portraits while others love Kung Fu or Sci - Fi. However, Black and Bougie has made me more open minded and allowed me to put myself in your shoes via your experience and perspective.

However, I urge you to dig deep and really evaluate these ignorant comments. I think there might be truth to what some are saying but it isn’t being explained properly. I might have read that your father sued your town/ city in order for you to live there, is it possible that once there your parents tried to make sure that you all proved that you deserved to be there by making sure that you fit in by behaving a certain way. I would think that “behaving a certain way “mimicking or becoming a chameleon of sorts and out whiting the white folks may have resulted in severing ties with what was left of our already shattered culture.

• African-American owned company who interviewed me via phone six times and then when I came in to meet face to face looked stunned that I was black. In fact, the CEO actually fixed her lips to say, "I would have never known you were black from your phone voice." [Is that the black version of 'you speak so well'?]
• When I transferred from private school to public school for grades 10 – 12, the many, many brothers and sisters who told me that I "talked white" "acted white" and "dressed like a preppy white girl." [I now realize my response should have been - And so?]

We are mentally programmed to believe that anything black or too ethnic is savage, wild, aggressive, borderline cannibalistic, etc. Isn’t that how the early settlers justified murdering the Indians? I guess I don’t see how you could have grown up in an environment where you constantly had to prove otherwise by adopting a particular speech pattern, props (charm school. preppy clothes, diamonds etc), in order to convey an image and think that it’s left you unaffected. The mask is always on and people see it (Blacks/ Whites/ and Aliens) ….I know the comments are ignorant but there may be some truth to it. I’m not trying to be offensive but am offering an alternate perspective.
We live in an institutional racist environment and we all deal with internal racism. I hear you in terms of being educated; growing up in the suburbia, etc shouldn’t negate your blackness. I believe in education and wish that we’d come together and build our own thriving communities with businesses, schools, hospitals, etc instead of moving in with people who don’t want us there ( fact; 8% of color to cause white folks to move) and trigger gentrification ( another entry).

Like the 20’s - We had neighborhoods like The Greenwood area of Tulsa, Oklahoma known as Black Wall Street – might solve the problem.

It really is disheartening every time another Blac...

2010-09-15T19:49:08.433-05:00

It really is disheartening every time another Black person refers to me as acting white or sounding white. They just don't understand that by perpetuating these internal stereotypes, they are living up to the desires of our oppressors, to settle for less and believing that you aren't capable of being exceptional.
I work near a high school and cringe when I hear and see these kids. They are walking versions of every stereotype ever assigned to Blacks.

In the suburbs, I was one of 2 Black children in m...

2010-09-15T19:49:08.072-05:00

In the suburbs, I was one of 2 Black children in my class. I was teased for having "cornrows", as the children were unfamiliar with this hairstyle. When I told my mom about it, she had a conference with the teacher & was able to get the class to see a film strip about Dr. MLK, Jr. (insert Sensitivity Training 101) The following year, my family & I moved back to the city from the burbs. Our new neighborhood is noted as one of the 1st integrated neighborhoods in the country. Despite being the only one with an afro (circa 1979) in my class, I was chided for sounding white. OUCH! Notwithstanding the fact that to this day, I am still unable to jump double ducth. LOL

My husband & I are still in the city. Our children are bilingual. Yes, they vacillate btwn ebonics & everyday jargon depending on the social setting. A skill few can master well. LOL

I'm extra vanilla swirl latte. Shocking! Oh well.

Also...ha ha ha ha...I got a score of 410. Very, v...

2010-09-15T19:49:07.718-05:00

Also...ha ha ha ha...I got a score of 410. Very, very vanilla latte with extra whip. Nice.

I took the quiz, with a 220, I am caramel swirl. L...

2010-09-15T19:49:07.353-05:00

I took the quiz, with a 220, I am caramel swirl. LOL

Comments on BougieLand: …and apparently I’m not “black enough” for black f...

You were right on point with this post. My two pet...

I think what turns me off more than anything is th...

Dockers? Dockers. I have a few pair of Polo Khakis...

Not sure I agree with your points but definitely t...

And repeat often... as needed.

A side note: Everything is a stereotype. It is a l...

That little girl in the picture cracks me up. Clas...

Amen.

I took the quiz and received a score of 350. The t...

Flatlined. LOL!!

"Oh, I never knew another black person who ow...

Whew!!! Amen and amen and amen prima! I grew up ...

I grew up in the suburbs with parents who were bot...

Talked to my husband about this. He is from DC, gr...

In one of my first HR jobs I was interviewing for ...

That's telling 'em girl!

I took the quiz and came out black coffee, no suga...

Haha I am caramel swirl. Looks like my blackness ...

Well now the Black Hair Debate is topic enough for...

So you've decided to just dish up the truth fo...

*Sigh* I have to say the title of this blog Black ...

It really is disheartening every time another Blac...

In the suburbs, I was one of 2 Black children in m...

Also...ha ha ha ha...I got a score of 410. Very, v...

I took the quiz, with a 220, I am caramel swirl. L...

Sigh I have to say the title of this blog Black ...