"Did we hook up?"
"I think I wanted to but you were too bougie."
"Yep, that was me."
"So what are you doing right now?"
"Um... heading home to the hubby and kids. But you take care now."
"Hey, hubby don't have to know ev'thang!"
"Ha-ha! True dat. Great seeing you!" *flees Target in record time*
Today's top 5:
1. #WTHwasIthinkin when I thought he was a catch?
2. #WTHwasIthinkin with a dude only known as Snake? (I still don't know his real name)
3. #WTHwasIthinkin going into Target during dinner rush hour
4. #WTHwasIthinkin not having that glass of wine with lunch today. I needed it. Badly.
5. #WTHwasHEthinkin out in GrandDad Kappa Gear in the middle of a work week?
If you haven't joined us on a Hashtag Wednesday, let me explain: On Twitter, people tend to accentuate their chatter by adding a topic or a phrase to the end. You tie the topics together by placing a "#" (called a hashtag) in front of it. For instance, yesterday had a trending topic called #TshirtSlogans where people offered their ideas of what would be interesting/cute/vulgar on a T-shirt. It ranged from #TshirtSlogan: Stop Staring at my Chest (not bad) to #TshirtSlogan: I make one person happy a day, today's not your day (funny) to #TshirtSlogan: Back away slowly (cute).
Alright, so let's see what we've got today:
#LookingForwardto: Summer TV shows. Shallow, yes… but I am. Leverage, Closer, Drop Dead Diva all promise to be better than the nonsense I'm looking at now. With the exception of The Good Wife, Southland, and Treme; I have not been wowed by new shows this season. I did develop an addiction to TV One's UnSung. Who knew that the original dude from the Bar-Kays was on the plane that went down with Otis Redding on it? Not me. I had no clue.
#LookingForwardto: My next great date. Surely there's at least one good one out there in my future, right? I am SO looking forward to spending time in the presence of a good-looking, good-smelling, good-acting man (not related to me) who makes me laugh and not want to live tweet the pain or flee. That would be great.
#LookingForwardto: Finishing my short story. It's due to my publisher by June. Once I finish it, I start on Book Three. It's all creativity all the time.
#LookingForwardto: Football Season! I know I'm early but with the schedule coming out yesterday and the draft tomorrow, it's right around the corner. Oh, I guess I should wait for the NBA Playoffs to wrap before talking football? Either way, I know I can count on both the Mavericks and Cowboys to look great… right up until they choke in the playoffs. They kill me. Does any sports franchise in this city know how to close?
So tell me, BougieLand… What are you #LookingForwardto and why? The floor is yours.
So you can tell by my feeble effort on St. Patrick's today that it's not my favorite holiday. So I thought about it, what if I could make up a holiday of my own? Just create a day where people are celebrating where/how/when/why I wanted them to celebrate. Not a birthday or an anniversary, just a random day picked out on the calendar for the purposes of celebrating whatever I wanted.
If you haven't joined us on a Hashtag Wednesday, let me explain: On Twitter, people tend to accentuate their chatter by adding a topic or a phrase to the end. You tie the topics together by placing a "#" (called a hashtag) in front of it. For instance, when we tweet about A Different World, we would add #ADW somewhere in the statements. If enough people use the hashtag, it becomes a trending topic. Some of this week's trending topics were #HipHopSyllabus where people suggested classes that Hip-Hop artists should teach – Hammer teaching Fiscal Responsibility, Beyoncé teaching Advanced Acting, Kanye West teaching Etiquette… quite amusing.
So since I'm not feeling St. Patrick's Day… I thought I'd make up my own hashtag. So here we go:
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be called Bougenificence Day. A celebration of all things bouge.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be on April 20th or the Friday closest to it because we need a day to bridge between Easter and Mother's Day and I'm all about a three-day weekend.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would have the colors of purple and green. It is MY holiday after all.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be celebrated by Mardi Gras-style parties, balls and parades. I think we will need a national step-off and Ebony/Fashion Fair type Fashion Show as well. Hosted by Oprah.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be toasted with White Chocolate Martinis or White Chocolate Mochas, drinker's choice. Grilled Salmon and Filet Mignon with broiled asparagus tips on a mixed-green salad - served everywhere (with 2 for 1 coupons).
- #MyPersonalHoliday would have cable channels playing Neo-Soul artists and New Jack/90s movie marathons. A 24 hour ban on BET... just because I can.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would need to be a National Holiday. I need banks closed and shops open. The joy of a Macy*s One-Day Bougenificence Sale – can you imagine?
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be headquartered in Martha's Vineyard or the Hamptons.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would include a traveling exhibit of bougie heroes, headlined by the Obamas.
- #MyPersonalHoliday would be awesome (doncha think?)
Okay, BougieLand – whatcha got? If you could make up your own personal holiday, what would it be called? Why? When would it be? How would we celebrate? Drinks? Colors? Do share…
For those of you not versed in Twitter (stay away, it's getting ugly), people tend to accentuate their chatter by adding a topic or a phrase to the end. You tie the topics together by placing a "#" (called a hashtag) in front of it. For instance, if I sent a tweet that said "Sarah Palin is an opportunistic idiot", I could add #IHateSayPay somewhere in the tweet. If enough people typed #IHateSayPay into the Twitterverse, it would become a trending topic. Then people would do a search for #IHateSayPay and every tweet with this topic would display.
One epic trends was #HeyWhitePeople. Prompted by a blogpost that stated that Aftican-Americans were "infiltrating" Twitter and if others wanted to "study the culture" they should jump on "Twitter after dark" - it does goes a little cultural by 1:00am eastern. Anyway, as you can imagine, some folks took offense and decided to share "insights" through the use of the #HeyWhitePeople trend. Our boy Riley wrote: #HeyWhitePeople: I don't need reparations for slavery, I need reparations for the ish you did last week. Classic! Another trend from over the weekend was #CelebrityPerfumeNames where people suggested names celebrities should name their next line of perfume such as Apology by Kanye West, Rehab by Britney Spears, or Alaskan Musk by Sarah Palin. #Donttrytoholla keeps coming back, as in #Donttryandholla if your breath arrives before you do.
Well, now that you're familiar with the concept, we can all participate in the good times here in the blogosphere. I present to you the inaugural Hashtag Wednesday on BnB. We'll start with things that drive me crazy…. Doncha hate it when:
- #DonchaHateItWhen: people cannot spell simple words like "there" versus "their". I'll chalk up one for brain stumble. Two for fast typing. But the third time is a problem and the fourth is a habit. People that don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" drive me crazy also
- #DonchaHateItWhen: someone really wants you to like something (song, food, TV show) and even though you don't, they just keep trying to make you like it? (please stop playing Bruce Springsteen – I have tried and cannot do it)
- #DonchaHateItWhen: people make sweeping generalizations: "Black women always…" or "Why do all men..." Please quit that.
- # DonchaHateItWhen: women act like a man should pay their bills even though they only know what he looks like horizontally, naked and in the dark. Please stop the skanky.
- #DonchaHateItWhen: men act like they deserve sex because they bought you a dinner and a drink? Fellas please see horizontal chick above for all that.
- #DonchaHateItWhen: someone drives a brand new Escalade but lives in their mama's basement. Own something or live within your means.
- #DonchaHateItWhen: the person you're talking to won't let you get a word in? Pause, take a breath consider that I may have a response to your river of words
- # DonchaHateItWhen: men act like they don't hear you talking to them? [stern side-eye, I know you hear me!]
- #DonchaHateItWhen: someone gives you the silent treatment? Okay, I am guilty of this one
- #DonchaHateItWhen: someone spits when they talk. Do they not see the moisture flying?
Well, I feel fairly certain you have a thing or two to add to the list, and no you don't have to use the hashtag. Comment as you will…