Get you some Jesus

That's not fate, sir... that's tomfoolery

I dream in Technicolor brilliance. I always have. I also dream in mini (maxi) series. Like I will start a dream and a few nights, months, years later - that dream picks back up where I left off like there's a DVR in my brain. I have one dream involving a black sandy beach and an amusement park that has been running since I was ten years of age. My late great father often visits in dreams. He's either laughing, lecturing or just looking at me with confusion on his face. 

Sometimes I think my dreams are trying to tell me something. Sometimes I double check what I had on the TV before I went to sleep. And I cannot eat spicy food too close to bedtime - if I do I dream myself into chase scenes and shoot outs and wake up exhausted. I know I'm "special" I'm okay with it.

When my sister and I went to Maui, we landed and there was a rainbow. When we took off five days later, there was also a rainbow. In almost the exact same spot. I decided it was a positive sign. (And not just refracted water in the sky)

How  much do you believe that dreams are prophecy? How much do you believe that a being from on high talks to you or sends you signs? I go back and forth on these things. I do believe in signs and higher powers but then I also believe in free will and responsible thought.

The gentleman who wrote to me goes all in and then some. Read his story and weigh in.
Hey Ms. Michele,
I read your blog and wonder what you think about this. I've been married for five years and have two young boys. But recently I left my wife. I had been having a dream about a woman (not my wife) for months. The dreams were so clear and beautiful, it was like I was living a different life when I was asleep than the one I was living when I was awake. About a year ago, I truly started feeling as though Jesus (or somebody like him) was trying to tell me something. A few months later I actually met the woman that was in my dreams. It was like meeting an old friend. She said she felt the same about me. Even though she's sixteen years younger than me (I'm 40) we are soulmates. We are now together and people think we are crazy but when fate shows you the hand, you have to play the cards. Don't you think?
-Perry in Decatur
**crickets**
Um. Okay. I'm so sorry, Perry. I have to call bullshiggity. In my heart of hearts  I believe you saw this woman out of the corner of your eye somewhere and wove her into your midnight fantasy. When given the opportunity, you made your fantasy come true. You left your wife and kids to get a little tenderoni because a dream told you to?! I can NOT even cosign on this tomfoolery. Did you write in for validation? I'm so not here for that. But do have your ex (soon to be ex?) write in so we can chit and chat with her. I weep for the example you set for your boys. Oh and "Jesus or someone like him" - what does that even mean!!!??? Man, please. 

BougieLand. Two separate issues here. Answer the poll and riddle me this - do you believe that things can be revealed to you in dreams? Do you believe any of what Perry just said? Have you ever done something (or decided not to do something) based on a dream, a sign or a gut feeling? What do you have to say to Perry? Do share...

If you just admit it, is it better in the long run?


One of the things that I hate about these so-called "celebrity" scandals is that there is so much damn wordsmithing. Let's take for instance the curious case of Creflo Dollar. I'm going to set aside the history of me and Pastor Dollar. Okay, I'm not. My ex - PsychoMike, loved him some Creflo. Sent checks, dragged us to see him when Flo-Flo D. came to Dallas, spent Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights with all the TVs in his house tuned in so he could head bob and agree with everything Creflo said. Me? Not so much. I never got that "authentic sanctification vibe" from Cref. Something about him came across as a little too packaged for my taste. I declined to worship alongside PsychoMike at the Dollar altar. 

When PsychoMike and I split for the very last time he told me that one of the many, many reasons (besides the fact that he was CRAY-ZEE) we could not work out was because he was convinced that I was going to hell. Yep, straight to Lucifer's Up All Night Tavern for me. One of the many, many reasons he knew I was Hades-bound was because I did not support, laud and applaud Dollar Flo Dollar. No, I'm not joking. So that's my background with Flo-Dizzle. Not that it's relevant here, just a little color commentary for you.

When the reports first trickled out that C-Dreezy was hauled off to jail at 2:00 in the a.m for attempted filicide  (okay, I'm being fancy, he allegedly attacked/choked/beat his fifteen year old daughter during an argument about a party that she wanted to attend), I didn't pay too much attention. When he tweeted, "The fight has already been won," I thought his word choice was ill-advised and felt compelled to frown at the timing and lingo.

I decided to wait until a few more facts came out prior to full-scale commenting. For various reasons:
1) I don't have kids and therefore trying not to pontificate about parenting
2) Arguing correct forms of kids' punishment is a no-win debate especially if #1 applies 
3) I like for 24-48 of news cycle to settle in before I start forming opinions and 
4) You never really know all the facts... goings-on behind closed doors and what not.

Now that Creflo has responded (see this great article by @CarolynEdgar about it), you know what I really wish?

I wish that when people get caught in these situations, they would just shoot straight. I would love for folks to just own it for once. I would love for Creflo to say - "Teenagers can hop up and down on your last nerve, I lost it and I know it was wrong. I ask for God's forgiveness and your understanding during this difficult time." Done. Don't come at me Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego talking about you are being tested by fire. That's preachy rhetoric that reflects poorly on the speaker. 

Just once wouldn't it be awesome if the person just stepped to the mike and said, "I did it, my bad, I'm sorry, I'm going to do better." How about a mea culpa without the fifty-eleven excuses? All we really want to know is: did you do it, why and how are you going to make up for it? It's kind of like that Chris Rock skit where the woman just wants the man to admit that he cheated. "I know ya did it, just admit it." Nothing worse that knowing something is blue and having someone stare you in the face and tell you it's green. Seriously, isn't it kinda cathartic (although ill-timed) in A Time To Kill when Samuel L. Jackson's character shouts, "Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell." Okay then. Just speak it true.

BougieLand, what do you think? Is it better to just fess up to your crimes and/or misdeeds or should you just "deny, deny, deny" and take the truth to the grave? Hmm, guess it depends on the crime/misdeed, huh? Share your thoughts on crimes, truth-telling and Creflo...

What makes one sorry? (And no, we don't mean apologetic)


And the buffoonery from the marriage struggle post continues. We  now turn our attention to my Facebook inbox which I generally ignore. But in the process of doing my "DELETE ALL" my eye fell on the title "You sistas ain't down for the struggle" - Hmm.

Opening this email, I was first assaulted by the irreverent overusage of ALL CAPS. A few phrases that jumped out at me:

"A BROTHER WITHOUT A JOB IS AUTOMATICALLY SORRY?"
"YOU B*TCHES wouldn't know what to do WITH A GOOD MAN ANYWAY"
"IF YOU AIN'T SEXING YOUR MAN DOWN CORRECTLY, he's entitled to do WHAT HE PLEASES"
"some of the sorriest PEOPLE I'VE MET HAVE BEEN BOUGIE CHICKS LIKE YOU"
"MAYBE you don't know WHAT SORRY means"

*repeats mantra in head* I'm taking the high road, this is a teachable moment. Woo-sah. *repeats 8 times*

The sorriness is not in not having a job. It's not wanting a job or a better job to improve your lot in life. I'll ignore the b*tches comment since that is the mantra of the Sorry-Ass Person assuming no one knows what to do with them. (We do, that's why we leave you alone). Sexing... what? Ugh. Bougie Chicks like me? Good look finding those. But this dude's last point. Maybe I don't know what sorry means? Let's get into that a little.

Let's bring this up a few levels. What, by general definition, makes one sorry? Well, first let's define sorry as we're using it here..
The Urban Dictionary defines sorry as: The state of being worthless, or poor in quality.
Merriam Webster defines sorry as: inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule : pitifulThe Wiktionary defines sorry as: poor, sad or regrettable
So, based on this I think I can come with a list of at least five characteristics of the truly sorry:
1. One who promises one thing and does another  (maliciously)
2. Liars, cheaters, thieves
3. Ne'er do wells, layabouts and lazy asses
4. Folks who find no fault in themselves but plenty in others
5. Idiots who have time to send emails such as the above

Any contributions to the list? Thoughts, comments, insights?

Is it too much to ask for some Jesus on Easter?


I was at church yesterday. I've been attending this church on and off for about nine years. It's a large non-denominational multicultural congregation. There were three campuses, five church services and if you still couldn't make it, the Sunday services streamed live on the internet. I went to new member class, joined what they called "life groups" and started doing some mentoring of the youth. My devotion to this church has waxed and waned as the head pastor's teeth got more white, hair got more shellacked and suits got more Italian. But Sunday was really the last straw for me.

Of course it was packed up, I expected that on Easter. And of course, there was a lot of "extracurricular" activity with singing and praise dancing and a children's program. Special offering, regular offering, outreach offering. Feeling impatient at one point, I glanced down at my watch. Over 45 minutes had passed and not a single word about Jesus rising? On Easter Sunday? If this was a news cast, isn't that the lead story?

It's enough that society has turned Easter into a bunny-hopping, chocolate eating, egg-hunting shoportunity?? I didn't expect that commercialization in my church.

It's not that I wanted to hear the same old, same old "He is Risen, get right or you won't be" sermon that many a pastor trots out for the occasion. But can we get some reference to King Jesus in the first hour of service? I can tell you where are the outreach programs are going to be this week and what we need to raise another $10 million for but you can't tell me anything about Jesus? When he finally got to preaching, it came across as very sterilized, commercial and stale. I went home and fired up the podcast of my former pastor in the Bay Area to get some kind of spiritual substance in.

I think sometimes when a church becomes very successful the focus becomes less about the kingdom of heaven and more about the kingdom of the church. Le Sigh. And now I have to find a new church home. As anyone who has ever gone hunting for one will attest, it's more than a notion. I think I'd like to go back to midsize for a little while. Not so small that they won't start service until you get there. But not so large that you can go three Sundays in a row and never see the same people twice. 

BougieLand, if you are a churchgoer - how did you find your church home? Is it too much to ask for a little Jesus on Easter Sunday? Thoughts, comments, insights?