Bougie News Round-Up: Get your life, boo...

I used to do these Bougie News Round-Ups where I'd get us all caught up on the news of the week and then we could discuss. Well, here you go. Enjoy...

1. Sergio Garcia makes a joke about Tiger Woods and fried chicken. Really Sergio? It's been done (thanks Fuzzy) and it's stale. 2013 man. For the last mickey-frickey time, jokes about fried chicken, watermelon, malt liquor, hangings and slavery - never a good idea with people of any form of African descent raised in these here United States. Get your life, Sergio. (And watch out for that water hazard at 17... oh, too late.) May I leave the following right here:

Nuff said.

2. GOP still trying to turn Benghazi into Watergate. while it's certainly tragic and regrettable that 4 Americans lost their lives that day, after 9 (yes NINE) congressional hearings, no one can tie the security failure to the White House. In fact, the more we look at it, the more we see that Congress is holding up the dollars to increase security at a number of embassies and consulates worldwide. Add in the fact that under ye olde Bush regime, 42 Americans died at embassies and consulates - where were the investigations for that? McCain, get yo' life, boo. You lost. You're old and you're on the wrong side of history. Move on.

3. Idiot fake-ass "relationship expert" CheyB explodes his mentions on Twitter by telling women that they are sluts if they carry condoms and even police officers know this. Why? Because women don't have penises. "The best way to have safe sex is to get married and be loyal." O__o Get yo' life, Chey - making a living denigrating women shows such a moral abyss... I just can't.

4. Billboard Music Awards - I can't. This was the year I turned the corner and officially became my father. Sitting on the couch frowning at the TV muttering, "You call that music? Back in MY day..." Yeah and this happened:

Get yo' life, Miggy. Practice the stunts first so you don't land on girls'  heads. SMH

5. Best of the rest: Anthony Weiner (of tweeting his weiner fame) is running for Mayor of New York. You know what? Do you, boo. Mark "Latin Lover" Sanford is in Congress. I got nothing. Do the Obamas talk differently to black people? Yes, they do. Next. Dr. Dre wants to give millions to a non-HBCU college. It's his money, let him live. Feminists fighting over feminism? We'll talk more on that later this week.

On the flip of all of that, Pharrell has previewed a tune for the Despicable Me 2 soundtrack entitled "Happy" and it is. I do love some feel good music. Enjoy.

Any news you want to talk about today? Thoughts, comments, insights?

This week's pet peeves - Political Ads, Clarence Thomas' wife and James Harrison

I might have been a little rant-y this week but we lived and learned, right? We can all join hands and hum This Little Light of Mine... right after I vent a little...

1. Politics as usual. Jesus be Election Day already. Seems to me the ads are just a little more vicious these days. Maybe not but it certainly feels that way. Rick Perry and his crew have just gone all in on the anti-Obama and Pelosi ads. I've started taking notes. Every single candidate who bashes Obama (including the idiot who wants to get elected so he can repeal Obama's healthcare plan here in Texas), I most assuredly won't be voting for any of them. I really dislike the negative slash-n-burn ads, they tick me off. I wonder what will happen to some of these candidates who get elected and then need the backing of the President? How's that gonna work out? Umm-hmm. Good luck with that. Some burned bridges never get re-built. 

2. What in the pure-D hell was Virginia Thomas thinking? Old girl (Crazy Clarence's wife) called up Anita Hill's office and said "Hey, let's let bygones be bygones. But before we do that, how about you apologize?" Here's her quote:

“Good morning Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas,” it said. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”

Ms. Thomas went on: “So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day.”

Say WHAT now? First of all, I'm still waiting on Clarence to apologize for playing Anita dirty all those years ago. I was always #TeamAnita and 100% sure that Clarence tried to get the hot chocolate, Anita said hell naw and he acted a fool. I'm just saying. Look at Clarence, look at Anita. Nuff said. Secondly, what exactly does Gin-Gin think went down between those two? And lastly, why is she worried about it all these years later? Clarence - get yo' girl some meds and take away the phone.

3. James Harrison is an idiot. So perennial poster-boy for failing Anger Management 101, James Harrison, is a defensive player for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Last weekend he made catastrophic hits (including one blatant helmet to helmet hit) on (not one but two) Cleveland Browns receivers. Since it's not his first time unloading questionable hits, the NFL fined him $75,000. He dropped a few brilliant quotes like: "I don't want to see anyone injured," Harrison said, "but I'm not opposed to hurting anyone." Yo no comprendo.

He announced that this was way unfair (boo to the hoo) and said he was gonna retire. Deuces, dude. Then I remembered that this is the SAME ninja who declined to go to the White House to meet President Obama after the Steelers won the SuperBowl in 2009. For real though? Now he's decided he'll probably stick around. Oh? Mayhaps you figured out that your fall back job isn't going to net you millions of dollars a year to smack people all day? Yeah, I respectfully request that you GO. SIT. DOWN.

That's all I've got. I feel better now. What are your thoughts on the ugly slant political ads are taking? What in the world was Ginny thinking (or drinking)? Can we collectively tell James that no one likes him? Any other peeves of the week you want to share? The floor is yours...

Stuff I refused to blog about this week

Okay, I have work, work, deadlines and a plane to catch. So here's a Bougie News Round Up. Discuss among yourselves:

1. Jesse Jackson Jr - caught cheating. With blonde chick. He apologizes. Some folks seem to think it's "not as bad" because "at least the side piece is hot." Is it just too trite to say "like father, like son"? How do you think this will affect his run for re-election?

2. Bishop Eddie Long - accused of sexting boys. Pastor of megachurch sends not so holy pics of himself to members of the congregation. I don't know what's true, but I know it doesn't look good. The current debate seems to be whether it's worse that he was cheating or cheating with men?

3. Kenny McKinley - young Denver WR commits suicide. Mental health issues have got to be addressed in the African American community. Time has come for us to stop saying "he just needs some Jesus" and look seriously at the problem. Depression is no joke. Why do you think we're so reluctant to address mental health?

4. Lyfe Jennings - "reformed" rapper/singer going back to jail. Quits Twitter. Retiring from sportlight. Says he hopes he's had a positive impact. Does this put a new spin on his song Statistics?

5. Sarah Palin - says she'll run if no one else steps up. Thanks Sarah for guaranteeing another four years of Obama. The best thing that could happen to progressives is if Sarah decides to run. I can't wait for the first debate. Will she draw a cheat sheet on her hand again?

What else is hot in the streetz? Thoughts or comments on these stories?

The Bron-Bron Re-Cap, Oscar Grant, Lohan and other news

For those of you living under a rock, LeBron James took all the airtime in the world Thursday night to announce that he is joining D.Wade and Bosh in Miami to play for the Heat. Robin Roberts scored the first one-on-one interview, it will air today (Friday) during Good Morning America on ABC. Enjoy the media frenzy. Here's my at-a-glance at who's happy and who's not after the announcement:

Happy J– Miami, they do love the blingswagger and no one brings it like LeBron (usually).

UnHappy L – The fourteen designers who begged him to wear their suits which he apparently declined, looking like a buppie lumberjack with a Rick Ross beard for some reason. Obama in the White House, wear a suit for primetime television youngster.

Happy J– Hoochies and Hos. Like I said last night on Twitter, the clatter of clear heels heading to Miami is deafening right now. The ranks of the Miami Chapter of Sports Groupies has just been multiplied by 100.

UnHappy L– Jordan… where was his primetime special? C'mon on, you know he's thinking it? Jordan stays tart nowadays.

Happy J– Tiger Woods! Finally sports folks can talk about somebody else. 

UnHappy L– Savannah (LeBron's girlfriend), he's not gonna put a ring on it in South Beach, honey. There's a whole saying about taking sand to the beach.

Happy J– Gloria Allred, Savannah is already calling about the palimony suit.

UnHappy L– Cleveland. They kinda got hosed. But that was no cause to set the man's jersey aflame. Oh, and the owner Dan Gilbert sent out a letter to fans saying: "I personally guarantee that the Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA championship before the self-titled former ‘king’ wins one" <~~Keeping it classy. No wonder he raised up.

Happy J– Laker fans, they'll take any excuse to bring up Sir Kobe and his rings.

UnHappy L– NFL Network, they are not going to be able to get Brett "I'm just as arrogant as LeBron" Favre to do a half-hour special. Cuts into his Barcalounger/BenGay time.

Happy J– ME! Because we can finally start talking about football now! Please!

In other news, that Oscar Grant verdict is a freaking travesty of justice. How a man shoots another one in the back, kills him and it's involuntary manslaughter is beyond me. Shout out to the East Bay for not setting the courthouse aflame... I know it was tempting. 

In further news, were ya'll aware of this Tylenol/Motrin recall? This is the third one this year?!

In case you weren't aware. It's HOT. Everywhere. Welcome to climate change.

Who is surprised that Lindsay Lohan is going to jail? Oh and her defense attorney quit after Lindsay came to court with F*** Off written on her fingernails. Keep it pimpin' Linds.

BP says they'll have this "leak" stopped by July 27… they mean it this time. Anybody willing to take that bet?

And that's all the news you can use this fine Friday. Any to share? Thoughts, comments, insights? Feel free to share…

p.s.  So some browsers are showing J's and L's instead of smiley-faces and frownie-faces in the happy/not happy section above. Life is too short for me to figure out that programming glitch. 

More Sunday Good News: T-shirt Vendor saves Times Square

Imagine this: you're in Times Square on a Saturday night getting your T-shirt hustle on. You see a Nissan Pathfinder with smoke coming out the windows. What do you do?

Well, if you are Vietnam vet Lance Orton, you flag down a cop and say, "Something ain't right." (Okay, I paraphrased). The mounted officer detected the smell of gunpowder and Times Square was evacuated. Investigators removed three propane tanks, consumer-grade fireworks, two filled 5-gallon gasoline containers, and two clocks with batteries, electrical wire and other components, Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said. Whoever put it together was NOT PLAYING. Let's face it, that could've serious jacked up some stuff.

Mr. Orton finds himself a reluctant hero, he wants no publicity: (From NY Times)

"I'm not going to say nothing, I'm not going to say nothing," he said when first approached by a gaggle of reporters. As he walked down the street, employees from Junior's restaurant stood outside applauding him. He briefly entered the restaurant before heading toward 44th Street.

He walked with a limp, had a cane, wore a white fedora and had a hoop earring in his right ear. When asked if he was proud of his actions, he said: "Of course, man. I'm a veteran. What do you think?"

The vendor said that he had served during the Vietnam War and had been selling wares on the street for about 20 years.

"I don't have too much of a choice, nobody's giving me a job," he said.

He said that he was reluctant to speak with members of the media because they had twisted his words when they interviewed him in recent years.

He got into the back seat of the taxi, took off his hat and used it to fan his face.

Before he left, he was asked what he had to say to New Yorkers.

"See something, say something," he said.

There's a deeper lesson here if anyone is looking for it. Dude serves his country, comes home and has to sell T-shirts on the street to make a living. Without even hesitating, he serves his country again. Amen, Mr. Orton. Hey Bloomberg, cut the brother a check... seriously. He's earned a little "thank you" from the city of New York.