For all the 20- and 30-something Bougienistas out there kvetching about how hard dating is; here's an unfortunate fact: It doesn't get any easier as you get older. I'm sorry. I'm dishing truth straight no-chaser, it gets no easier. In fact, the pool is smaller and your patience is shorter and let's not even talk about battle-weariness and dating fatigue. I'm in something now that I want to call a relationship but without official confirmation of said status - we just hanging on. Yep. The Struggle Continues.
You would think as daters age, they would mature. That is not always the case. You would think as folks age, they know their own mind. That's also not always the case. People tend to get less open-minded as they get older, not more so. People that have the ability and willingness to change usually have done so before hitting age forty and up. So weigh those things into the dating pool. We're going to explore this with the Mature Bougie Bachelor and Bachelorette Chronicles... cuz some of us ain't 30 anymore... Let's look at one of the 40+ Bachelorette Chronicles:
Bougie Bachelorette #1 (BB1) is back in the dating game after a hiatus. To avoid some of the foolery of past experiences, she joined a site specifically geared to singles in her age bracket. Let's skip past the fellas who couldn't form a sentence, typed in texticon-ebonicionary or had the opening salvo of whatever the 2014 equivalent of I Wanna Sex U Up is. Let's also set aside the ones that when their names were Googled revealed mugshots, entire blogs devoted to their chicanery or pages upon pages of Don't Date Him Girl dot com misdeeds. Let's talk about the fellas such as these:
Have you met any strong black man on this site? and I notice one
thing about this site, that women have very high standards, you have to have a
Master degree, a PhD to be a certain height,. there is not a lot of men out
there that can meet the qualifications, sometimes I think women are looking for
James Bond
a lot of them will be on this site and will never find what they're looking for
because their standards are too high there are more professional women then there are men
a lot of them will be on this site and will never find what they're looking for
because their standards are too high there are more professional women then there are men
Okay then. Let's look past the grammar fails and the overt negativity. Is this how you attract a woman? This is how you come out the gate? This sounds like the re-washed jargon of "relationship experts" who swear that women can't find a "good man" because they over-reach. Le Arrgh. Wouldn't it have been more productive to lead off with some of his positive attributes? And wait - is ANYONE looking for James Bond? Isn't that character well-known for being a martini-swilling womanizer more in love with country, killing and gadgetry than anything else in his life? Moving on...
As a courtesy, BB1 responded to him.
I'm not looking for James Bond but I have a Master’s Degree and
so I am looking for someone who is above average intelligence and able to hold
a conversation on current topics. I have met other African American males on
this site but yet to meet my match. Honestly, I'm over 50, so I don't play
games and expect a man to step to me in a real way, thoughts?
So now she's given him an opportunity to tell her something good about himself, right? He can be erudite and share why he's able to step to her with realness. Instead he sends this:
respect that I am 57 years And I do not have the education that you have, I wish you the best and good luck
Make it stop. You all know I hate all of that "swim in your own lane, play your position, know your role, don't be a 2 reaching for an 8" nonsense BUT... If you have an obvious inferiority complex and have been burned or scorned or overlooked by professional education sisters in the past, why are you stepping to? With weak game? Yo no comprendo. Je nais comprends pas. I ont get it, ya'll. Is it just me or should he have kept that to himself and gone on to the next?
Sisters, how would you handle this kind of interaction? Fellas, does bruh-man have a point or nah? Please share....