5 Reasons Why I Hate Texting

Go ahead and color me old school, I'm good with that. But I'm not a fan of texting. I've tried especially since my teenaged niece and nephew seem incapable of dialing but can text me the updates to their lives on regular intervals. Le Sigh. I have my reasons, here are but a few:

1. People expect immediacy from texts but I don't keep my cell phone attached to my side. Because I work from home, I have a home number and an office number right by by side. If we are tight, call one of my many numbers and talk to me. Don't take the fact that I didn't return your text within five seconds personally. Unless you call me and I let it go to voicemail, that you can take personally.

2. People text shiggity they would never the eff say. In other words, texting is the cell phone equivalent of being keyboard brave. And ya'll know how I feel about folks that only have spine when no one can see or hear them. Especially the fellas, please quit making all manner of epic cocoa swirl promises over the text only to possess zero ability to back them up in real life. That's not hot. At all.

3. You cannot always pick up inflections from a text. I may or may not have the tendency to get dramatical in my phrasing and tone as I speak. Okay, I do. But you miss all of the nuance in a text. There's a big difference between "Oh, really?" in a surprised tone and "Oh. REAL-ly?" in a dry and sarcastic snark. For you to appreciate my snark, you must speak to me.

4. Texting can be irritating. Again old school but the keyboard is tiny, the Auto-correct is kinda Nazi and my need to properly punctuate adds a level of irritation I cannot describe. By the time I've texted back my response in the format I deem proper, I could have called you and told you twice.

5. People assume a text is as good as a phone call. No. It is not. If you say, "I'll talk to you later" do not follow up with a text saying "Hi" that is not the same thing at all. In some cases, dare I say that texting is just plain lazy? Why are you too busy to make a brief phone call but can send me twenty text messages in a half hour? Does. Not. Compute.

Honorable mention to companies who now think it's okay to text you. Dear AT&T, I absolutely do not need you to text me a bill reminder. You've already emailed me and sent one to my home. I'm straight. If I haven't paid you yet, it's because I don't want to. Your text is not changing my mind. Le Boo.

And don't get me started on the fact that people now seem to think it's okay to use texting abbreviations in business correspondence. It is not. I work on a virtual consulting team and last week, chick sent an entire note of text language to explain her report. I had to read it six times to understand that she was basically saying she didn't finish the report because her child was sick and she'd be back later. Don't do this. No. Not ever. Someone make it stop.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who still prefers a phone call or a face-to-face meeting over texts? Do share...