Hello all, it's that time again. We're going to play catch up on the Ask a Bougie Chick letters
clogging up sitting in my inbox. Today's letter comes from a 27 y.o. gent in Vallejo, CA (that's the Bay Area). It seems he's been accused of acute hound-doggery and he doesn't think it's fair or true. Here's his story:
Ms. Michele,Can you settle an argument for me? I'm a single 27 year old black male in the Yay. Took me a while but I just graduated college and manage to land a decent job and for the first time, I'm living on my own no roomate, no mama's basement, all me. One of my boys told me that his girl doesn't like it when we hang out because she thinks I'm a dog and a bad influence on him.
First, what's up with that? He's a grown azz man. Next, I'm really not a dog. Yes, I primarily pursue women for the purpose of the booty not for the promosie of a long term relationship. I'm not ready to settle down yet. But it's not like I hit and quit or anything. I always buy drinks and dinner first, sometimes breakfast afterwards. And even though I don't see the same woman more than once or twice, I'm upfront and make sure they keep their expectations realistic. It's not like I sleep with more than 4 or 5 women a month.
See - What had happened was... We (me, my boy and his girl) were out at the mall last week and a woman came up to me and spoke for a while I couldn't remember her name. We hooked up earlier in the summer. I didn't introduce her because I didn't want to make her feel bad that I didn't remember her name. That's how this all started with his girl.
I don't juggle women, I don't mistreat them, I don't lie to them. How am I a bad influence or a dog? Can you get BnB to weigh in?Thanks.Curtis in Vallejo
Beau? Is that you? Didn't I just write a book about you? Ha...
Hi Curtis. Well, hmm. I'll put it to a vote but er, um. Let me just say this:
You might be a dog if...
1. You can't remember the names of the women you've slept with... this season!
2. You only see women for the purposes of nekkid aerobic activity
3. You rotate women like they are hot, swappable peripherals
4. You think buying a meal makes your activities less of a hit 'n quit
5. You think she didn't feel bad that you didn't introduce her to your friends for whatever reason
6. You think sleeping with 4 or 5 different women a month doesn't put you near "man-ho" status
Curtis, the Yay is big but it's small, son. Eventually everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who slept with you. Oh and by the way, your boy's girl has a point. You are who you hang out with. (JUST finished telling a friend of mine this last week). Your close friends, those you chose to spend time with are a reflection of you. She does not want her man getting any lifestyle ideas from you, Curt.
I don't know, I'll have to ask the fellas - is Curtis wildin' or is this how ya'll get down in the streetz when you are young, single and newly out on your own? Different girl every weekend, every month, all year? I'm exhausted thinking about it. Ladies? Dog or no? Who has a good definition for dog these days? Do weigh in...