Question - How far is it from hot mess to messy?

There was this one particular "bless her heart" friend of mine in college. She dated a dude who was a total misogynistic playa-playa asshole. (Can you tell how much I liked him?) When we asked her what she saw in him, her message to us was, "But he's not that way with me."

**epic pause**

Fast forward about one month. She sensed that sumthin' sumthin' just wasn't right. We attended a party at his place. She pulled me toward his room all frantic. Going into the restroom, dude had a bra hanging on back of  the door. It wasn't her size. There was makeup and Noxcema in the medicine cabinet. Not hers. Not hers. I looked at her. "Yes he's cheating, yes he wants you to know and no he doesn't care. Like we've been saying - asshole."

She blinked at me tearfully, "I thought I brought out the good in him." 

Umm. Hmm. Now I'm not saying one person can't bring out the best traits in someone. I'm saying people are who they are unless something happens to change them. Anal people show anal traits in their lives. Cheerful people tend to lead cheerful lives. I'm a creative person, my life has creative outlets. My home has color, I add commentary to everything and believe a little something fancy never hurts. See what I'm saying?

Let me segue to the drama between Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson and his soon-to-be-ex wife (of 42 days) Evelyn whoever. I don't know very much about either one of them except that they are media hoes. Seriously, neither of them met a camera that they didn't preen for. He was on his way to a Hall of Fame career when he fell off and I guess she's famous for doing rich dudes. (Am I oversimplifying - feel free to school me if I'm missing something) I've never seen any/either of their reality shows. Apparently they got married, fought about a condom receipt and he allegedly head-butted her and now he lost his his job, they've lost their VH1 show and are getting a divorce. Ummkay then. 

What I do know from the bits and pieces I've picked up from Twitter and the like - they both appear to be messy as all get out. I don't know if that's for the sake of the cameras or how they really get down. But all the personal biz in the Twittersphere? No bueno.

So I'm asking you, BougieLand - don't messy people lead messy lives and why are we surprised when the mess spills over? I'm not judging, I'm just asking. Of course super meticulous people can end up in messy situations - but is it the norm? How far is the distance from who you are to how you live?