Ya know, every now and then I just wonder about folks. I really, truly do. I don't care about interracial dating, I have the whole United Nations up in my family - whatever makes you happy, do you boo-boo. But this letter right here? It threatened to bring out my inner Shaniqua and turn her a-loose... up in here... up in here. Partake ye of this missive, if you will:
Hey Chele!I've been reading BnB for a while even though I'm not black or bougie. Hope that's okay. Well, that was stupid. Of course it's okay. You always say its equal opp and all of that. I find a lot of your stuff so funny and universal. I love the advice that you and the other BnBer's give out to the Ask a Bougie chick segment so I thought I'd write in as well.
I'm 22 and about to graduate college and I've been dating a black guy for about two years. I really want him to propose this summer. My family really likes him, his is not so accepting of me. I don't know if it's a color thing or just me. And I know this sounds terrible but I feel like if he was a white guy I would know what to say or do to get him thinking about marriage.
I kind of hinted about what comes next for us a few weeks ago and he said, "Let's see what the summer brings." I found a job not too far away, he has one year left on his business degree. I guess that means wait and see?
He's dated some pretty impressive sisters before dating me and I can't help wondering if that's holding him back from taking the next step. Maybe he only wants to marry a sister? Maybe I'm confusing myself and making it into a big thing for nothing. What do you and your readers think? What can I do to get the ring?
Thanks! WC/DC (White Chick in DC!)
Hey there. I'm just going to call you Clue because you kinda need to get one. There is so much in this letter that makes me want to send you to Diversity Sensitivity Training Modules 1, 2 and 3 that I hardly know where to begin. Maybe I'm not reading this right but are you truly thinking that there's some magic you could do to get a white guy to propose that won't work on a black guy? And furthermore, do you truly think we ("the sisters") are in possession of this magic?
Maybe I should have started with - do you really think there's some proposal magic? Some special series of events, dinners and sexual acts that will have a man belting out "Marry Me" from rooftops? Is your life a Disney film or a Nicholas Sparks' romance? Do you perhaps watch too much Dr. Phil or read too many "How to Catch a Man in XXX days" novels?
Okay, excuse the snark. Lemme ask you this - have you asked him what his thoughts are about marriage? Specifically to you? And in what time frame? Did you try going directly to the source before soliciting some random blogger who knows nothing about your boo? Or did you honestly think my sage, all-knowing, never been married self would rattle off a 10-steps to 10 carats for you?
Pardon the snark once again. You came to me for help. Let me see if the BnB faithful have something for you.
BougieLand - got any magic answers for girlie? Ladies, want to share how you got your cocoa king to the altar (in 5 easy steps or less please)? Fellas, care to share an insider's tip on how to make ya'll put a ring on it before those autumn leaves get to falling? Anyone, anything? I got nothing...