seduce [sɪˈdjuːs]
vb (tr)
1. to persuade to engage in sexual intercourse
2. to lead astray, as from the right action
3. to win over, attract, or lure
Saturday afternoon. I was standing in the Costco line behind Phoebe and Naomi. I don't know these women. They were blonde and dressed in identical uniforms of skinny jeans, tight v-neck sweaters, high heeled booties and oversized purses. I only know that their names are Phoebe and Naomi because every other sentence was "Are you serious, Phoebe?" "I'm totally serious, Naomi!" If I had to guess, I'd place them in their mid-to-late twenties but if they keep pancaking the makeup like that, their skin will age ten times faster than the rest of them. Anywho...
Phoebe and Naomi perplexed me. They had a huge pre-cooked dish of Marie Callender's baked Mac 'n Cheese nestled up next to a case of Coke Zero, three packages of celery, pomegranate juice, coffee, 6 bottles of wine, popcorn, one of those industrial tins of Danish butter cookies, a twelve-pack of Intuition razors plus a 27" inch TV and the Water for Elephants DVD. What was that life like?
The contents of their cart was befuddling but their conversation was so much worse. Me and the guy behind me were treated to a play-by-play of how Naomi found herself waking up in "some dude named Benny"'s bed earlier that morning. Naomi swears she had no intention of ending up there. In fact, Friday night she had gone out with Steve who was being a jerk so she walked over the pool tables and picked up a game and apparently Benny as well.
Then Naomi launched into the oldest tale in the book. Benny really listened to her. He was so sweet, she went home with him just to continue talking. When they got there, he poured wine and made brownies. (At this point, me and dude behind me exchanged glances. I've met "Benny" before and dude behind me has been "Benny". Benny was laying down page 21 of the Game Handbook.) Benny had a jetted tub in his bathroom. He suggested running Phoebe a bath so she could relax. Benny just happened to have girly-scented bath gels and flowers and candles. Fast-forward to the inevitable and Benny did all kinds of right by Naomi several times over.
Yet there she stood in Costco with Morning After Remorse "Can you believe I did all that with some guy I don't even know!" and then she pulled Le Lame Excuse: "He seduced me! I got caught up in the moment." I almost bit my tongue in half holding in the "Girlie, Please!" that was dying to spring forth from my lips.
Here's my problem with The Seduction Excuse - it implies that one has no decision making power in what comes next. It completely disregards free will. In listening to Naomi's Friday Night Adventures, I counted at least twenty places where she could have not gone with him and/or walked away. At least several opportunities to pull her panties on and exit the premises. You get caught up in the moment for... well... a moment. She spent over twelve hours with this dude and apparently was naked for quite a few of them.
It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people try to pull the seduction excuse. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that there are deliberately sexually predatory folks out there who live to meet and seduce others. But unless you are drugged, undercover or harmed (which is something else entirely) - why can't you say no? Since when was a polite "no thank you" so hard to squeak out? And if people are still pulling this "swept away" nonsense (side-eye to Shawn's ex-lady friend from last week) - can we stamp that as lame?
Speak to me, BougieLand. What say you? Can a grown-assed person in charge of their own faculties really fall back on The Seduction Excuse or is it just a way to hide the fact that they did what they wanted to do all along? When a person takes you home and starts popping bottles and whipping up baked goods... don't we know what's up? Someone help me out with this one. Can you really be seduced if you don't want to be?