"Michele, I've been singing this song for years. It's 'love is for me to find, how much I adore you.'""That doesn't even make sense. The words are 'love is too weak to define how much I adore you.'""Between the two of us, who knows more Prince lyrics?""Um, me?""No. I've been a Princeologist for years.""Uh-huh. I'm seven years older than you, David. Do the math.""There you go with the older thing.""What older thing?""You think because you're older, you know more than me.""I absolutely do not think that.""Well, why do you think you're always right?"I paused. Not wanting to say, "Because I usually am?!" What I said instead was, "Do you seriously think I always think I'm right?""I plead the fifth.""That's an answer.""That's a non-answer.""By refusing to answer, you answered the question.""And you know this because you're always right?""Really?""Let's not make it a thing. I love it that you're smart and confident. I love that you're usually the smartest person in the room.""Now that's not true.""Take a compliment. I'm just saying. Yes, you are right often. But sometimes, I'm right. And not just when I agree with you. Deal with it."Thankfully we were on the phone and he couldn't see me rolling my eyes. "Acknowledged. You are right. Next topic?"Silence but I hear him typing in the background. "Oh.""Oh?""You might be right about the Prince lyrics.""Hmm.""Don't be smug.""Me? Never.""I should have known not to challenge you on anything remotely related to purple. Whatever. It's still a great song.""One of the best.""So we're good?""We're great."
David would not be the first (or the last) to tell me I have "I'm right and you're wrong"-itis. My bad. I've just always been the person who knows random stuff. Name two Triple Crown winners, a Nat King Cole song from 1952, who played running back for the Denver Broncos in 1998? What gets wine out of silk, what's the best way to prune roses before winter and what keeps avocado from turning brown? This is the kind of random nonsense my brain is filled with. I'm your girl for Trivial Pursuit.
To my credit, if I don't know something - I'm the first one to throw up my hands and say I'm clueless. And when I'm wrong, I will own up to it. (But that doesn't happen very often - okay, more often than I'd like). Is there a 12-step program for Hate-to-be-wrongitis?
Who's with me? Who "strongly dislikes" being wrong? Who is full of random information that has no substantive value unless we host a Bougie Jeopardy night? Is there a support group we can go to? Thoughts on the wrongness of always being right?