Welcome back to BougieLand and another exciting episode of Ask a Bougie Chick. Today we have JG, who wants to jump in with both feet but is wondering if it would be more prudent to tiptoe into the shallow end. Let's get it started...
Hi Chele!Is that too casual? I always wonder at the protocol. Hello Ms. Grant seemed too formal. Sorry, thinking out loud. Here's my question with a little background-
I'm a 29 year old single black female. Thanks to my career, I'm well-traveled and been exposed to all kinds of people and cultures and things. I put that in because sometimes people under 30 are still thinking and acting like people under 20. I don't fall in that category. I've been around the block a bit. There may be a block named after me somewhere.
I live in Los Angeles but commute fairly often to New York, Atlanta and Dallas. While in Dallas a little over a month ago, I met a man. A wonderful, sexy, intelligent man. He's 35. We clicked instantly. It was one of those things like in the movies. His eyes met mine and violins started playing Beethoven. Actually it was a Mint Condition concert and they started to play U Send Me Swingin' but same concept, right?
We spent that entire weekend together and since then, he's come to Los Angeles twice, I've been to Dallas again. We talk everyday. This past weekend, he casually asked if I had ever considered living someplace other than Los Angeles or New York. That got me to thinking. I'm at the point in my career where I need to think about what comes next. I have some friends here but most of my family is in Louisiana. I casually asked him what he would think about me moving to Dallas in the next few months. He asked me how much closet space I would need.
How soon is too soon, Chele? It feels 100% right like this is it, he's The One and I'm ready. I've checked him out, I know his background and even though he's got a playboy past, I think he's ready too. Then again, a small part of me is thinking that I'm crazy for even considering shaking up my entire life for someone I've only known for six weeks. Am I crazy or do I trust my gut?-JG in LA
JG - Hey girl! What's the rush? You travel, he travels - why not put in a little bit more time before packing and shacking? If it still feels right in 30, 60, 90, 180 days - go for it. That small part of you wondering if you're crazy deserves a listen. Besides, won't it feel better to move forward with little or no doubt rather than that niggling doubt that has you second guessing yourself?
On the other hand, you may be the kind of person that goes with their gut and just leaps. If that works for you and you feel that strongly about it - dive on in. But be careful, I don't want to see you on an episode of Who the Bleep Did I Marry or Snapped.
Yes, I know these last two paragraphs are conflicting. You know why? Because it's really up to you. Some people (such as myself) will not make a major life decision without dissecting it, flipping it over and over until I don't even remember what the initial problem was. By that's me. I'll turn it over to BougieLand.
Good people! Are you a toe in the water or a dive in the deep in kind of person when it comes to making life-changing decisions? How soon is too soon to uproot your life for someone else? Do you go with your gut or your head or your heart? If you were JG, what would you do? Do share...