Learning not to take the bait

There must be a sensor. Some sort of tingly spidey sense that men possess that tells them that their ex is in a happy place with someone else and have moved on. Fellas, am I right? Do you have a commission that keeps an eye on these things and sends out coded signals to let you know? Inquiring minds want to know because I swear it's uncanny. 

The very minute I relax and say, "You know what? This could be good. This could be what happy feels like," something wicked this way comes. In the form of a text or missed phone call indicator or the like.

But guess what? I finally learned. No one says you have to return a call or answer a ringing phone. That is why the tech gods created the IGNORE button. That's right. Just don't take the bait. If someone's dead, they can send an email about the funeral. If someone's sick, they can text the hospital address. If they just want to say they're sorry? We already know. Got news? Tell it to someone who is still required to give two shakes of a damn. Otherwise, I have nothing left to say except...

No. Thank. You. As a matter of fact, how cool would that be? If you had a "no thank you" setting for contacts so that if they called, emailed or texted they would get a pleasant voice and icon saying, "No thank you." That would rock.

Yes, good citizens of BnB. For the first time in I don't know how long. I ignored the missed calls from Certain Someone Upon Whom Many Years and Tears Were Wasted. The freedom of confirming that BlackBerry question, "Are you sure you want to delete?" - YES! Epic moment. Like booty dancing in the middle of the afternoon goodness. 

Just had to share. I know it's not a revelation. I know you are supposed to surgically excise human cancers from your life. But I finally learned to take my own advice. That's celebration-worthy.

Oh, I just got schooled. Apparently women do the ill-fated, unwarranted, malicious and untimely tapback too. My bad. Everybody should stop that. Seriously. Eyes forward. Nothing to see here.  Thoughts?