So one of the things that happens when you've been dating for a while (as in decades people) is that you start to get a little... jaded. Okay not jaded but you definitely start feeling like you've heard it, seen it, met it, dated it and kicked it to the curb all before. It unfortunately causes you to enter into a date with the attitude, "Why are you different and how long is it going to take to figure out what's wrong with you?"
Now, add to this the fact that while I am by no means a celebrity (nor do I ever, ever, ever want to be); people do read my books and blogs and tweets and feel like they know me. Which to some degree, you probably do. So the risk of dating someone who reads the blog and follows me on Twitter is - what kind of preconceived knowledge does he think he has AND how's he dealing with all my baggage?
Such is the case with Le Ninja Nouveau (we'll call him Lenny). Full disclosure, he's been asking me out for a while. I kept saying no until one day I said, "Oh what the hell" - yes, I was just about that gracious. Before he could even order an iced tea, I listed all reasons why we were going to be "just friends" and leave it at that. He laughed and said sure, he could always use more friends.
There followed a series of innocent friendly happenstances. Did I have a minute for coffee? He was at Home Depot around the corner from me, did I have a second to give him an opinion on ceiling fans? He just happened to have extra tickets to a concert did me and a friend want to join him and a friend? New wine spot around the corner, did I care to have a sip? Just calling to say hi, how's the writing going? Just watching this show you were talking about, what did you think of tonight's episode?
Me with my fingers on the keyboard and head full of character development all day was just kinda rolling with the flow. Finally a few weeks ago, I squinted at Lenny in the grocery store and asked, "Oh, are you trying to date me?"
He put the rosemary Parmesan bread in the basket and said, "I am dating you, I was just waiting for you to figure it out."
Hmpfh. First of all, that's a great line. I'm straight jacking that for a book. Secondly, I have no desire to live blog/tweet whatever my next whatever is. To which he said, "So don't."
And then I got to thinking, what if this isn't about me at all? What if he's just interested to see if I am what I blog? What if this is just all about the chase? So I asked him.
After he finished rolling around on the ground laughing he said, "I generally don't chase women. They kinda chase me." Healthy. Ego. And yet he continued, "There are far less complicated women to chase if that's what I was about. I have a lot on my plate right now and I'm choosing to put in the time and the effort for you. Not your image, not your persona, you." Then he shrugged, "But you can always allow yourself to be caught and see what happens next."
Clever. Yesterday I had a delivery to my home. In the package was a ridiculously gorgeous pair of strappy purple sandals. The note said, "Maybe it'll be harder for you to run in these."
Like I said, clever. We'll just have to see. The shoes though... me all day - points scored.
Moving on - This prompted a discussion between me and some friends (both male and female): how do you know when it's about more than the game of catch and capture and is something really real? The answers varied: It's the difference between just having fun and really caring. What difference does it make? You know when you know. And my contribution: Time will tell.
What say you, Bougieland? How do you know when it's more than a game? Let's hear those opinions...