After yesterday, I seriously wondered whether I wanted to continue with Double Standards Week 2 since folks seemed to take things quite personally. I had to delete about 16 comments that had dissolved into either straight out profane name calling or were just plain mean, we don't play like that in BougieLand. These are just observations and questions for the purpose of discussion and information sharing, people. Okay? All is love... Moving on.
Single women with children are often scorned, demoralized and forced to explain the circumstance by which they found themselves with child and without a man. There's an entire movement out called No Wedding No Womb (which I refuse to go in on) that almost requires a woman to apologize for choosing to have children out of wedlock. One group of NWNW critics call it slut-shaming. Ouch!
I'm not going to argue the issues of single motherhood, it's a well-documented fact that fatherless black children and fragmented African-American families face challenges and disadvantages in health, wealth, opportunity and education. No doubt this extends along racial lines. Although I have to point out that a dysfunctional two-parent family can cause far more harm than a happy single-parent family. Whole other topic.
As far as single parenthood goes, what about the fellas? Not referring to that idiot in Michigan who has 14 kids by thirteen different women, that's just obscene. I'm MERELY asking - are single men with kids viewed with the same level of scorn and derision as their female counterparts? Do as many women say "I won't date a man with kids" as men do? For instance, I know a man who has sole custody of his two kids (from a woman he never married), and the ladies think it's honorable and adorable that he's raising these kids on his own. He's a hero. When was the last time a sister with two kids and no husband was considered "honorable, adorable, heroic"?
Is there a double standard when it comes to being unmarried with kids? Even in cases of divorce and separation, are men afforded more of a "these things sometimes happen" pass than females? Or has the stigma of having "baby mama drama" caught up with the single dad? And while I'm on it - have a few crazy-assed baby mamas given the rest a bad (BAD!) name? Thoughts, comments, opinions. The floor is yours... but keep it friendly.