"I forbid you to blog about this..."

Those were the last words hissed at me after an evening where a college girlfriend, a church member, an ex-fiancé, Dude Formerly Known as New and I all ended up in the same lounge/restaurant in Addison, Texas at the same time. College girlfriend invited me, I invited church member (Jayme). The two men came (separately) looking for me since I quit returning their phone calls and these are the type of guys who want to have the last word.

The "exfi"(ex-fiancé) got there first as I was attempting to salsa with some dude from Brazil. I couldn't understand a word Brazilian Dude said but he bought the first bottle of wine and was a great dancer. Formerly New showed up when I was talking with the band and college girlfriend was dirty dancing with two Euros. 

Since I'm forbidden to blog about what actually happened, all I can do is give you my conclusions:

1. I need to quit going to that same spot. Seriously, if that is the first place that two different men I used to date thought to look for me - I need to change my game up.
2. I was amazed (but not amused) by some of the glaring similarities between the two men. Apparently that club is not the only comfortable habit I need to break. 
3. Jayme's bump 'n grind game after four glasses of wine is proper. She forbade me to post the pictures but I'm keeping them in a safe... cause you never know when pictures of a 49 year old size 6 former cheerleader executing a perfect high kick in five inch boots will come in handy.
4. When one ex tells another "The best way to handle Michele is..." and then follows with something so offensive (but probably 80% true); stomping your foot and saying, "Stop talking!" doesn't work at all.
5. By the time the conversation has taken a turn when one guy starts talking about "getting his woman back" and the other guy asks, "Was she ever really yours to begin with?"... you really should just bail on the evening.

This evening takes the cake as the singular most uncomfortable "ex encounter" ever. So tell me BougieLand - what's your awkward "encounter with the ex" story... unless you're forbidden from sharing it. :-/