"We need to talk" and other signs a break up is near

Every one knows that "We need to talk" means two things: either someone actually needs to talk or someone is about to get placed curbside. But let's take a look at a few other phrases that might spell doom for a relationship:

I'm trying not to hurt you - This is generally uttered by someone (male or female) who has already hurt the hell out of you and wants to be let off the hook for it. Furthermore, they will do it again. Also beware of "I don't want to hurt you" and "I hope this doesn't hurt you." I'm always confused by this one. If you don't want to hurt someone, take steps to make sure you don't. Am I oversimplifying?

I just need space - This means they've already found an alternate space (away from you) and just need you to be aware of it. And the follow-up question to this is, "Space to do what, with who?" If any of you have an example where someone "took some space" and then came back all excited about the relationship and it worked out - please share it. This one also comes in the form of "We need to take a break" and "Let's just take a step back".

We've grown apart - It's already over, you're just now finding out about it. Usually stated when you have nothing left to say and the thrill is gone. This is sometimes stated as "We're just in different places right now". Resist the urge to fling hot grits while screaming, "I thought we were in a relationship!" Oh, is that just me? Never mind. Moving on.

You're too good for me - This means "I actually think I'm too good for you but I can't say that." Really, if someone tells you this - just agree and keep it moving. Seriously, your response should be, "Yes, I am too good for you. Glad you recognize it." As Maya Angelou says, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them."

And let's not forget the ever popular:

It's not you, it's me - Similar to above because guess what? They think that it is you, they just don't want to say it. Not only is the problem you, they've probably already found somebody else that they believe is an upgrade. There's nothing you can say to this one. If someone is wickety-wack enough to use that phrase on you, you're well free of them.

I don't say these things to be mean, I say them in the spirit of education. If you're hearing a lot of these phrases coming your way... trouble is a-brewing. At the very least, you're in for some "deep conversation." Life is too short to encourage the continuation of drama and co-sign on clichés. 

Tell me BougieLand - do you have other catchphrases that point to relationship doom? Have you heard these? How'd that work out for ya? Thoughts, comments, insights?

Tomorrow: "I'm not ready to settle down" and other signs that you're stuck in the Smash 'n Dash or Friend Zone.