How @IdrisElba almost ruined my relationship and a review of Takers

(Blogger's note: If you never watched The Wire, you won't take half the references in the post. Don't worry about it, it still makes sense.)

Let me start out by saying it wasn't my fault. Okay, I know that sounds like the cry of the guilty but let me explain...

At some point last Thursday I was shocked and dismayed to find out that New Dude (Derrick) had never watched The Wire, arguably the best series to never win an Emmy or get its due. I sat there with my mouth open giving him the BetaMax "they still make you?" look. He said he had meant to start watching but by the time he got to it, it was mid-season 2 and he didn't get it.

I cut him some slack. Season 2 was the weakest of the five in my opinion and if you didn't see Season 1 you don't get why McNulty is on a boat, Kima's on a desk and Daniels is in inventory. You don't get Stringer's power plays. We decided to go get the box set and watch. Then we figured out we could go to Amazon Video On Demand, buy the set and download the entire series to a TiVo or PC immediately. Score. 

I created a monster. I watched two episodes with him Thursday night. By the time I got there Friday, he had watched seven more. We finished Season 1 and I made it through about three episodes of Season 2 before I gave up. Saturday most of Season 2 and a start on Season 3. He was hooked.

At some point he says, "What is the deal with the Stringer Bell dude? I don't see what you see. He doesn't seem that handsome." I'm not stupid, I know my lines. "It's not his looks, he has an aura about him. Gives off a certain something." <~ See what I did right there?

"So all this Idris love is because he gives off a certain something, hmm?"

I shrugged.

"He certainly fits your profile."

That he does but I say nothing. Don't start none, won't be none.

Like dog to bone, he will not let the subject drop. "Do you only date tall chocolate dudes with athletic builds?" 

Le Sigh. Three ways to answer this. 1) Fire with fire: Do you only date light-skinned top heavy women? 2) Question with question: Why do you ask? or 3) Straight honesty: No. I went with number 3. 

"I've met two of your exes. You have to admit you have a preference."

"Everyone has preferences."

"So what happens when you meet a height-challenged light-skinned brother who sweeps you off your feet? Would you change up your preferences?"

"I'm not that worried about the packaging if I'm being treated well."

"Are you saying I'm not treating you well?"

Let's press pause. Here's what happens. Thirty hours straight of The Wire and folks start picking up Balto street mentality, conspiracy in waiting and Omar coming. Chris and Snoop on every corner. Or maybe he just felt like picking a fight? Then I remember that the SEW (Shady Ex-Wife) had cheated on him and maybe there are a few latent insecurities still lingering? I don't know where all of this came from but I was squashing it.

"When I'm not happy, don't I let you know?" 30-second stare-down before he shrugged and dropped it. 

Sunday we go see Takers. It's enjoyable. Guys will like the action, girls will like the eye candy. It's pretty up in that movie. A whole lotta gleaming teeth and twinkly eyes. Something for everybody. If the plot seems a little familiar.. it is. It's Armored meets The Italian Job meets The Score with a prettier cast. Matt Dillon has played this part several times since Crash. Broken down old cop with domestic issues. And there is definitely a point and time when you just have to suspend disbelief and enjoy. Realistic it is not. I was also so glad to see Marianne Jean-Baptiste (black woman from Without a Trace) in a small but pivotal well-done role. 

So there's this one scene when Idris' character is awakened in the middle of the night. He gets out of bed in some really tight 'leave nothing to the imagination' black cotton drawers and half of the theater gasped audibly. My heart may have stopped for half a beat. Goodness gracious. I got the laser beam side-eye and the whisper. "So he comes to your door like that and says, 'Let's go.' Do you go?" Brother Derrick loves to test folks. But I'm not so brand new. "You know what? I'm not the girl who keeps eating when she's already full." He nodded and went back to the movie. Made me want to hunt down SEW and kick her ass all of again. One of the most confident men I've ever met except when it comes to stuff like this. Thanks to her I can't let the drool fall out of my mouth. Le Damn.

Anyway, I gave it 3.5 out of 5 with heavy points for eye candy and things that go boom. Who watched The Wire? Who is going to see Takers? 

Oh - I'm on blog hiatus until after Labor Day. No fresh bouge this week. Speak amongst yourselves and I'll be back in September. Thoughts, comments, insights?