Are you Social Media Sexy but Real Life Ratchet? 5 Ways to Tell

Do you know folks that are all Facebook fabulous and Twitter terrific, then you meet them in real-life and it's so very womp, womp, womp? I've had the misfortune to both meet and discover some Facebook frauds and Twitters twits. Here are five ways to tell if you're faux fab:

1. If you spend all day talking about your fab life (instead of living it) and the headquarters of Fab Inc are in Big Momma's basement. What is fab about living off of Big Momma's social security check? No, you don't have to be ballin' but quit acting like you're living the Champagne Life when it's all Red Koolaid round your way.

2. If your gorgeous online picture bears absolutely no resemblance to you. As you appear in real life... today... not five years ago. Here's a thought: Avatar. Get you one and hide behind it. But don't use Denzel's picture if you are Flava Flav's twin. That's false advertising.

3. Fellas, if you have 900 female "friends" you are trying to holla at online but no hope of a significant other in real life. Like none in sight. At all. Can't buy a coffee date. Twitter trollin' is no bueno, tricks are for kids. That goes for you pimpin' playas too: the truth will out. 

4. If your 140-character game is tight, all wit and whimsy but you cannot string two intelligent sentences together face to face. I admit my letter writing is tight but ask me a question and I'll bet I can come with a decent answer. How you tweetin' Ritz Carlton level and speakin' like Rodeway Inn?

5. If you are "keyboard brave". This means you talk a whole lotta self-righteous yada-yada about what's wrong with the world, women, men, music, movies but never affect a single drop  of change. Calling out other folks, talking all sorts of smickety-smack with no means or plans to back it up. Hope no one calls your bluff. Then again, they probably have and you de-friended/blocked them. Um-hmm.

Y'all know who you are. Cease and desist. Immediately.

Bougieland - thoughts? comments? insights? Know any folks like this? Have any to add to the list?