RWNTD*: Don’t give a test you’re not sure they’ll pass (pt 2)

Yesterday, we learned about the woman who basically self-sabotaged her relationship trying to run game on her man. Today, let's learn about a man who thought he was running game but in the end... not so much. Let me break down his letter for you:

Bless His Heart Dude (BHD) meets Somewhat Needy Chick (SNC) at church. She is (according to all the church saints) a "good woman" who has just had a few bad breaks in life. Had a baby young, got screwed over (literally and figuratively) by her baby daddy and was working at having that better life. It did not hurt that SNC was bangin' of body and cute of face.

BHD is in his late twenties and tired of that single life. He wants to settle down with a "good woman" and "get on with his grown-up life." He decided to give SNC a try. They dined out and on the first date, she's not quite as "refined" as he would like but he saw through lack of etiquette, diction and table manners to something that both interested him and attracted him.

Fast forward to two months later, BHD moved SNC and baby-SNC into his crib. Now from his letter I can't tell if that was the test or this: He gave SNC a credit card and told her "Use it for emergencies." [pause for the side-eye] He didn't give it another thought. She adored him, was rubbing him the right way and he had an instant family.

What he did think about was the fact that not only was she not a great housekeeper, she's not a great housemate. In fact, she's sloppy and her four year old has picked up the same habits of just leaving things laying around and assuming someone else will clean it up. BHD hired a maid/cook/nanny [do we need to pause again?] and kept rolling. After all, this was a "good woman."

So her round-the-way friends appeared to have set up headquarters at his house and SNC couldn't keep a job, this was what a "grown-up" relationship was about, right? Putting up with the good and the bad?

At least that's what he told himself right up until the credit card company called him at work and asked when he planned to settle the balance on his card. He would pay it off over the phone, he told them - how much was it? $14,632 they told him - which bank account did he want them to take that out of? After his heart started beating again he found out that SNC had not only used the card like her personal checking account but had gone online and transferred money to her personal Paypal account $1000 at a time. She had the billing address and primary phone number changed so he would not get the bills. And she was apparently very fond of a website that overnighted Christian Louboutin shoes direct from France.

He had her and the little one out by week's end. He prepaid a month at an extended stay hotel to get her out. He had to change locks, all of his cards and bank accounts and file a fraud alert. She had opened up a store and gas credit card using his information. She had told people she was his new wife. He said he's still discovering her fraudulent acts.

His question to me was... where did he go wrong?

To which I'm tempted to respond - where did you go right? You got bamboozled by the beauty + booty combination then you moved a virtual stranger and her son into your home. You turned a blind-eye to every flaw. And then you gave this stranger a credit card in your name with a $20,000 credit limit.

Let me ask you this - what was so "good" about her that is PG-rated? She wasn't up to your "refinement" standards, you weren't comfortable with her lifestyle, she was a slob who couldn't cook or keep a job and turned your house into the neighborhood hang-out. She better have been turning you inside out all day everyday. For the record, not everybody who goes to church is a Christian. Next time, I would take things slow. Check some references, keep your credit card (and other things) in your pocket for a minute. And don't let a cute face fool you.

Hmm, just re-read this - am I being too harsh? I should probably be more sympathetic, huh? BougieLand, whatcha got for BHD? Ever been the victim of identity theft from a S.O.? Thoughts, comments, insights?

Tomorrow on BnB: Who's the rabbit?

*RWNTD: Relationship What Not To Do