Men themselves have wondered what they see in me. They try so much, but they can't touch my inner mystery. When I try to show them, they say they still can't see.
It's in the arch of my back, the sun of my smile, the ride of my breasts, the grace of my style.
I'm a woman phenomenally.
~excerpt from Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
One of the good things about Twitter is that everybody can share their thoughts on everything.
One of the bad things about Twitter is that everybody can share their thoughts on everything.
You feel me? I thought so.
For the record, I'm not saying women shouldn't be healthy. I have nothing against fitness. I do yoga, cardio-boxing, all flavor of Wii Fitness, and sometimes I do more than give my treadmill a disdainful glance. But I'll never be whisper thin. It's genetically impossible. I'll always be top heavy and I'll always have to do crunches. My metabolism is the kind that reminds me of every single time I give in to a potato chip or M&M. But I recognize this and do what I have to do to keep it together. Bougie means trying to keep your cute up. So when I hear people (and definitely men) going in on women's appearances and specifically their weight it drives me crazy.
Listening to some of these folks would have you thinking that if you aren't a size 2, you aren't fabulous. Seriously, the scrubs almost tricked me into second-guessing my wonderfulness. I was talking with someone last night who had me cracking up saying it's always the scrubby dude acting like they gotta have Halle Berry on their arm and nothing else will do. Though I have to say, most of the fellas – those that I call "real men" that I hang out with here and in the real world - they like a woman with a little curve to her. Some substance. Someone who eats more than two triscuits and a tic-tac. According to a friend on Twitter: Most real men see quality and value. The scrubs are still trying to live out a fantasy. They want a women to make them look good to other men.
Hmpfh. What prompted this rant you may wonder? A few things caught my attention these past few weeks. First was the Lane Bryant commercial that Fox and ABC refused to broadcast saying it was too racy for primetime. You check it out and tell me what you think…
But this Victoria's Secret commercial directed by Michael Bey is less racy? Old girl is straddling a pool table with a long stick...
So why do the Victoria's Secret commercials warrant airtime but not Lane Bryant? Is someone scared of the real women curves? I'll let you marinate on that.
Second was the whole controversy about Gabby Sibide being "less than pleasant" at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and at other functions.
Okay so she's a newly minted "star" who hasn't learned the art of public graciousness yet (and she looks mighty salty here). But with these tales, the media just has to mix in something abot her weight. This phenomenon was outlined in a great post over at (not)HappyAboutThis. Here's an example of what the media has been saying.
"So, who was the weekend's biggest (no pun intended) disappointment so far?"
"Wow! FishbowlDC wasn't alone when we gave "Precious" star Gabby Sidibe a GIGANTIC (no pun intended...okay, that's a lie) thumbs down."
Okay so is the crime that she was acting bitchy? Or that she's fat and bitchy? I'll let you make your own conclusions.
Let me take a minute to touch on the nonsense surrounding "Just Wright". Apparently, some folks (laser beam side-eye) don't think it's believable that a baller would choose a Queen Latifah over a Paula Patton.
Come on already. Are we still here? Queen Latifah is gorgeous at any size. And I think we've all figured out that any man can fall for any woman if that zing hits. No one knows what causes it; if we did we'd bottle it up and auction it on eBay. There no rhyme or reason what makes two people click. Are we really so shallow that we think the size of the outer shell is all that matters?
One of my online mentees was thoroughly offended because her boyfriend cheated on her with an overweight girl. I asked her if she was mad because he cheated or because of who he cheated with? She was more offended that he cheated with someone she perceived as less attractive. She felt insulted. I informed her that what she should be is introspective. When a man cheats with a supposedly less attractive woman that generally means he found something in her beyond the superficial, something he wasn't getting with his current S.O. That, I told her, is a wake-up call.
Part of the aftermath of that stupid Nightline FaceOff shibacle was that some idiot actually said that Sherri Shepherd didn't deserve to get a man because of her weight. And then a whole bunch more idiots co-signed. Say what now? If it is your preference to date women of a certain body type, good on ya and hope it works out. But are you seriously saying that women of a certain size don't deserve love? GTFOH with all of that.
This whole culture where people feel guilty for eating one piece of cake (and tweet about it), when someone in a size 4 thinks she's fat, where some designers still won't make clothing larger than a size 10 when the average size of a woman in this country is a 14 is sheer craziness. The stupid jokes about Precious, the fact that when Erykah Badu's last video came out half of the comments were about her a$$ and perceived cellulite, and really with Kirstie Alley's Big Life?
Le Sigh. I understand that obesity leads to all sorts of health problems and generally doesn't look great. We all agree that longevity is a shared goal and looking decent in clothes is a plus but check this out: In 1953, Jane Russell (a size 18) and Marilyn Monroe (size 14) were the standard of sexy beauty. In 1976, the three Charlie's Angels were a size 6, 8, and 10. The redone Charlie's Angels in 2000 were size 2, 4 and 6. By 2020 are we just going to prop up cardboard cut-outs and call that sexy? I call bullshiggity. I'm over it… I wish everyone would join me there.
Comments, thoughts, rants? Floor is yours…