Today - a guest post. Please join me in welcoming back @WriterChanelle from http://totherefromhere.wordpress.com. She has written an open letter to the fellas. Check it out and show some love.
Dear Heterosexual Man,
There are throngs of women who are growing tired of your antics. Now, I know all of you are not part of the "I'm gonna do my dirt in the dark because it won't come to light" crew, so where are you? And, why aren't you stepping up? Where are the men who believe in marriage and want to get married as much as women do? Is it just a woman thing? Do men even like women anymore?
Illustrating my point with a video: This is the restaurant scene in HITCH where Alex Hitchens meets up with a guy (Vance Munson) who requires his services. Only this guy likes to use women for one thing. Hitch tells him that 'hit it and quit it' is not his thing.
Do men even want to have women around, or are we just a necessary evil? Can you really consider us friends? I know we can't have the same type of friendship you have with your boys. I don't want us to have the type of friendship I have with my girls; but, can we have something close to it? Can we actually go out in public together without you being afraid of the word "together" and what it might signify? Are you so entirely ruled by your penis that you cannot see beyond a woman's sexual potential to her companionship potential? Can you see beyond the corporeal to the mental without an ulterior motive?
There is something to be said for nice guys and their mature thought processes. The reason nice guys are always just a friend is because they do not try to be anything but a friend. Yes, a woman wants a man who will respect her as a person, confide in her, call her, and meet her to hang out in person; but, if you're doing all of this in addition to getting a vibe from her that she is interested in being more than friends, and you don't pursue it, she will move on (a.k.a settle for) to the "not so dreamy but at least he showed initiative" guy.
Are you confused? Let me clarify. If you're trying to find a good woman, do not lead her to believe you are the kind to cheat on her for five years of your six year marriage. If you're in that stage where you need to be alone to discover yourself, don't ignore women, make them your friend. And be a real friend. Don't cancel meet-ups then text a couple days later from whatever place you found the time to go to. And, lastly, call us. Don't just text. Even if the conversation lasts for ten minutes, it's nice to hear a man's voice every once in a while. If you're tired of being the nice guy, then change your methods not the niceness. Don't stop being a nice guy. Believe me. The real women are tired of bad boys. If you never get the girl, be aware of the signals your female friend is showing and be the aggressor. She wants you to do it.
Just askin',
Chanelle
Alright BougieLand, it's your turn to weigh in. Do men even like women anymore? Are they feeling us? Fellas, are you checking for us wanting something real? For that matter, are the ladies even wanting to be bothered? What's even going on out there? Let's hear your thoughts… the floor is yours.