Why did I spend two hours of my life to see this too?

My movie requirements are less strict than my TV watching requirements. I understand that a filmmaker has to get a whole concept plus character depth into 90 (120) minutes whereas a TV dude generally has a whole season to sell me. So basically all I ask is that you make me feel something. Give me something that doesn't make me queasy, bore me silly or scare me to death. Why Did I Get Married Too did not bore me. Read between the lines.

Though I'm not the biggest Tyler Perry fan, I respect his hustle and try to support his work when I don't think it will be too over the top for me. I liked Why Did I Get Married. I thought it had a great message about hope and healing and honesty in relationships. There was just enough melodrama to be believable, enough romance to make you say "aah" and enough tragedy to make you sniffle. Though the characters weren't too fleshed out, you had enough of a sense of what they were going through to care what happened. The ending was expected if not a little too tidy. All in all, I gave it a solid B.

Me and two girlfriends saw the last one and promised to see this one together as well. Unfortunately, I had heard a few (read hundreds of) varying opinions on the film from Twitter and the blogosphere. So I went to see Date Night yesterday to cleanse my movie palate. Date Night was hilarious. It advertised itself as lightweight and funny and it delivered. So I was optimistic going into this one. Why Did I Get Married Too advertised itself as fun and entertaining. At rare intervals, it delivered.

I'm not going to give away the movie, but in two hours and 1 minute we got the following: guns go off, gay people jump out of cakes, someone gets ignant on national TV, random old folk drop knowledge, women cry, people die, someone's sick, someone's cheating, someone is going behind their husband's back, someone is smacking their wife around, next door neighbors kicking up drama, rooms get destroyed, people file for divorce, and someone gets a new romantic lead setting up Why Did I get Married Again.

Long story short, it's doing too much. It's just too much. It's just drama, drama, drama without any explanation of why. Why is that person still seeking solace outside the marriage? Why is this person still so out of pocket? Why is this person suddenly violent? Why did that relationship crumble? Why is that marriage even still together? Why isn't she appreciating her man's sacrifice? Why did ANY of these people (with the exception of one couple) get married in the first place? Great questions… none of which get answered.

We were at a theater where food and wine were served. We killed a bottle of Pinot and an appetizer tray just to make it through. Truthfully, it made my head hurt. I don't mind a rollercoaster ride when it's an action movie but a relationship film? Exhausting, especially when you are not given the opportunity to understand why things are happening. They just happen and you're stuck watching the fallout.

I just need Tyler to hire writers that can build characters and add context to his scenes. I want him to cozy up to the concepts of subtlety and innuendo. He tends to go for the easy thrill and quick laugh when I would watch a longer film that made me fall in love with the characters. I watched most of these characters with a blend of irritated astonishment and weary disdain. I can honestly say that Lamman Rucker's character (Sheriff Troy) made the most sense out of all of them, and I don't just say that because I love him and hope to bear his children. In fact, you wonder midway through why he doesn't throw up his hands at the lot of them and roll back to Colorado where his life was sane. Jill Scott's character was the next least worst (if that even makes sense). I have no idea what motivated the rest of them to act like they did.

On a completely shallow note, kudos to whoever got the curly weave wholesale for the ladies. The hair should've gotten its own screen credit, it was that prevalent. On another shallow note, I need Tasha Smith's trainer's number... she killed that bikini. Killed it! Moving on...

I need Tyler to get that having people behave in the most outlandish, out-of-pocket, over-dramatic way is not brilliant cinema. Tell me a story that has a beginning, middle and an end that fit together. Don't just put random scene (drama) after random scene (more drama) and then say oh – setup for next film and done. They clearly set the stage for a third installment but I'm done, son.

I get that Mr. Perry is an entrepreneur employing a lot of black people. I get it and I appreciate it. He's neither the devil nor a savior, he's an entertainment mogul. Acknowledged. He's popular. Agreed. But just because something is popular, doesn't mean it's good. This particular product simply is not good. Now if you think my review was scathing, my girl Sheri referred to this film as a "steaming plate of ass"... she was heated. She LOVED the first movie and felt that this ruined the legacy. She is married and she called bullshiggity so much, she was tired at the end of the movie too. We had to go get coffee to bring her back to life so she could go home and face her husband and child.

In my opinion (which is all I'm qualified to speak on) I give it… a D+. I added the plus because Sheriff Troy earned it.

Alright BougieLand, who saw it? Who plans to see it? Thoughts, opinions, comments? Feel free to disagree, I'd love to hear your thoughts...