When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:11
I have witnessed so many displays of utter childishness from supposedly grown folks lately that I knew I had to fit this post into BnB Are You Ready? week.
All of us are over the age of 21 (as least 19, if not please take your young behinds to the next blog. Kthxbi!), but not all of us are grown-ups. In case you haven't figured it out yet, being grown up has its plusses and perks… but it also kind of sucks. So much so that folks tend not to want to embrace their grown-folk-ness. In case you're wondering just how grown you are… here's some of my criteria:
Being a grown-up means…
- Learning how to do things for your darn self: Alas, I know how to install a ceiling fan, kill spiders, take out the trash, stop the toilet from running and pay my own bills. These are things I have had to learn to do. Sure, it would be great to have someone to do things for me. But sometimes you have to learn to stand on your own two feet. As a grown-up you should be able to cook at least one meal, clean your own house/clothes and balance a checkbook. No it's not sexy but it's grown. Also, stop looking to everyone for validation and affirmation before you make a move. You're a grown up now, decide on a course of action… and take it.
- Learning that you cannot always have your way: Sorry, this is true. Things don't always go your way and pouting is only cute on 4-year olds. And by go your way I also mean you won't always get the last word, have the final say or put your foot down and have it stick. You are only King/Queen of yourself, no one else is subject to your whims and wishes. I know this is harsh but wouldn't you rather hear it from me? [P.S. Tantrums as SO not sexy. Learn to lose with grace.]
- Even more real – learning that good things don't always come your way: Some folks are fortunate to lead charmed lives but it's quite the comeuppance when they realize the entire world isn't made of fairy dust and rainbows. Similarly, we all have to learn that not everybody has your best interests at heart. They really don't. There are some people in this world, some closer than you think, that have very bad intentions. Bad things happen, roll with it. No you are not entitled to have all the world has to offer placed at your feet, you generally have to work for that.
- Your actions have repercussions (sometimes you have to pay the piper): There comes a point in time when there is no one there to bail you out. Chickens do come home to roost. And you always reap what you sow. Karma is a grown folks' kick in the ass. The sooner you come to grips with it the better. This means you have to take responsibility for the crap you do. You break a heart/window/promise – you apologize/pay for it/make amends. Don't expect other people to swoop in and clean up your messes.
- At some point, it's really just you: You are gonna have to stop blaming everyone else for your trials and dilemmas. Eventually, if your world keeps going to hell in a hand basket… you had something to do with sending it there. If you keep losing friends due to trifling blow-ups and beefs, guess what boo-boo… that's on you. You're always______ <- - fill in the blank (alone, unhappy, having drama, getting into trouble, getting fired)? First time's a coincidence, second time's a pattern, everything else is a trend that you set in motion. Oh also, if you are over 25… it's time to stop blaming Mom and Dad for your jacked up life. Sorry your childhood wasn't perfection... time to get over it. You're still here, make peace with the past and get on with living the rest of your life.
- Learning that you're not always right: Dear Lord, if I had a dollar for every time grown folk won't just agree to disagree and retreat to their separate corners… I'd be blogging from my private villa in Barbados right about now. There are some people that are determined to argue their point (even if they are wrong) to the death. Growing means learning that everyone is entitled to their opinion (right or wrong) and moving it along. I say the sky is blue, do you need to argue about the shade? Azure vs. cerulean? Sometimes being a grown up means knowing when to STFU… I say this with the love. L-O-V-E.
- Learning to treat people with respect and dignity: Do I really have to explain this one? Apparently so. Having witnessed the buffoonery going on in Washington, apparently people need a refresher on stepping up Golden Rule game. Do onto others and all that… Respect of elders, common courtesy… any of that ringing a bell? Le Sigh.
- Learning to keep your word: I was tempted to type that one in a flaming font but I thought that would be overkill. And this one is self-explanatory and in need of no embellishment. Speak true, people. Back up your words with corresponding action.
- Learning to accept yourself: Sure, you're an ever evolving being but in a lot of ways, you is how you gonna be. Yeah, I said it. Embrace it. Own it. Love it. Live it. Make it work!
- If you can't learn to accept others: Keep it to yourself.
I could go on… and on… and on. (I may have gotten a little rant on) But I shan't. Instead, I'll ask you BougieLand – what do you have to add to the list? Thoughts, comments on my list? The floor is yours…