Five quick ways to get “de-friended” on Facebook (in my world anyway)

Earlier this week, we talked about a former friend of mine who "de-friended" me on Facebook. It got me thinking – what would it take for me to "de-friend" somebody? I don't know. I went through and deleted folks on Twitter if I hadn't "talked" to them in more than 90 days or had no clue who they were. My Facebook is a little different; I'm not as active on there. My account is a combination of people I know, people who have read my book and people that were recommended to me. So it would take something out of the box for me to dive in and give people the boot. The obvious answer is if that the person is not someone you want to be friends with. I thought I'd go a little deeper. After a little consideration, here are the top 5 reasons I would "de-friend" someone on Facebook:
  1. Over-sharing: I tend to scan through status updates so anytime the only thing I know about you is how great your sex life is or who hates you at you job or when your "boo" gets paroled… no bueno. And as long as we are talking about over-sharing, let's discuss the naked, half-naked, booty-out pics. I understand some of you are very proud about the way you look wearing a feathered thong. (This applies for the fellas too. As a side note, there is no reason for a man to ever own a thong. I meant it) Moving on, if your new profile pics shows more booty than a Trina video... that's more information than I need… ever. So if you feel the need to express yourself through semi-nude photos, I'll have to let you go.

  2. Over-inundating: Every day with the gifts and drinks and games and hearts and meals and farms and mafia invites and sorority invites… please stop. It's great if that's your thing. Good for you. If I have yet to accept one of the 20 cocktails you've sent… just move on. Everybody gets ONE suggestion, maybe two. You can suggest a friend or a post or a group you think may interest me. But not every day. And please don't suggest that I friend all 1,417 of your friends one at a time. Oh, and for dude celebrating his sixteenth day of celibacy, I didn't need an invite to his "Eff these hoes" party next Saturday. (People, I can't make this stuff up) Long story short, if I find myself overly bombarded by your games, announcements, suggestions and gifts- I'm done.

  3. Bad Choice in Groups: Okay, this might hurt some feelings. I know folks like to express themselves with the groups they join, God Bless them. But if you join a group named "I Love Head" or "I'm Too Sexxxy For ALL You B*tches", I'm gonna have to cut ya. Sorry.

  4. Advertising: I know Social Media is the new Yellow Pages/Classified Ads all wrapped into one but come on people. Some of you take that hustle thing a little too far. Give me a second to think about buying your book, video, CD before you ask again. And again. And again. When your hustle clogs up my feed to the point that I can't see anything else… I'm going to have to let you go.

  5. Language: Last but not least, watch your language. You know Facebook is basically a public forum, especially with the way they have jacked up the privacy settings. Here's my rule: Look at what you've typed and read it out loud as if you were reading to a PG-13 crowd. If you have to "bleep" yourself every other word… that's too much profanity. Embrace a diverse vocabulary. Please and thank you. Otherwise… yep, I'll have to let you go.

As I was wrapping up writing this, someone sent me a quiz with an xxx-rated picture entilted "Are you a freak or just weak?" INSTANT DEFRIENDING! BougieLand, what do you think? What would cause you to give a Facebook friend the kick?