I love Black Men but sometimes you're like that Pat Benatar Song: Heartbreaker. A woman's heart is a fragile, fragile thing. Even when she acts like it isn't. You just never know what thing you do while bruise it, nick an artery or cause life-threatening damage.
This week on BnB we are celebrating our brothers. Giving them some love and trying to understand what makes him do what he do. Yes let the record reflect that I love black men in all their colors, moods, moments and mystery. However, that does not absolve my brothers from a salty side-eye when they step out of line. So then, there are a few things I would like to know. And instead of continuing to guess at the answers (that hasn't worked out); I'm going straight to the source. I've asked Citizen Ojo from The Desultory Life & Times of a Public Citizen to help out.
Some things that a man does (wittingly or unwittingly) just break a girl's heart. Some of them are big, some small but either way; inquiring minds would like to know why.
1. Why get a girl's phone number and never call? Why wait three (five) days to call? Why say the words "I'll call you right back" when you know you mean "I'll get back to you at some point, maybe?"
Single Men prioritize all the women they meet. So if you receive a call the week after that means you are low on the depth chart. Think of it as being a Running Back on a Professional Football team. If you are the 3rd or 4th best back then you won't get a lot of playing time. Unless you play for the Detroit Lions...ha ha ha! I crack myself up sometimes…
2. Why don't you just break up with a woman when you meet somebody else you are attracted to? (prior to marriage)
It's a game of odds. If you give up what you currently have, for what you think you have, you might end up with nothing. No man is willing to risk that.
3. Is there any justifiable reason for a man to tell a woman that he loves her when he really doesn't?
No it is not!! But Men do it anyway. Most men who say that are attempting to get something from a woman. Women who have this problem usually give signals that saying "I love you" will open a door to something else. Since the man has picked that up, he will go there just to get what he wants. When a woman meets a man she should even bring up the "L" word until she knows that the relationship is ready to go to the next step.
4. Is it ever a good idea to marry a woman because they've been together so long the man feels like "she's earned it"?
Hell No! That sounds horrible. What kind of man does that? Did the man put the woman through an obstacle course and she won by beating out the other contestants??
5. If a man get into a "purely" physical relationship with a woman, can it ever go beyond that for the man or will he only see her as the booty call?
Sure it can. This is what happens in a lot of relationships. It starts out with sex and then someone catches feelings. The problem starts when the other person just wants to keep it sexual. Then you can't go to sleep at night and you end up standing outside the girls apartment…and…oh…at least that is what I have heard…but I digress. If a woman puts it down in the bedroom and has an A+ grade in all other categories, then a man could want more. People give the "Friends with Benefits" tagline a bad *side eye* when they shouldn't. What might not work or have worked for you could be perfect for someone else. When I was in the military a good "booty call" could get a girl a wedding ring. I was always amazed when everyone's favorite "club chick" would end up being some dudes "Mrs. Right". Love is a funny thing!!
Definite points for brutal honesty on this one. What say you, BougieLand? Agree? Disagree? The floor is yours.