I shouldn’t have to write this post: Bougie Etiquette Lessons pt. 2

When last we convened for an Etiquette Refresher Course, we discussed some do's and don'ts in Social Media. I see that message didn't really sink in. Ah well, I tried. Now it appears that my lessons have been too advanced and I need to come back down to a more basic level.

  • Catty isn't cute: When did overt b*tchiness become socially acceptable? Yes, Real Housewives (though you aren't real or housewives) and Bad Girls Club – I'm talking to you (to start). As you all may know, I'm pretty much over reality TV. In my opinion it is cheap programming that takes writing jobs away from people… well, like me. But some of the shows at least attempt a competition or a goal. Not discounting their entertainment value but basically we're pointing the camera at overly made up women in tight clothes with fake lives and telling them to act any old kind of way. That's fine for adults but can we please put up an advisory for the young girls: Being an overcoiffed potty-mouth might net you a reality show but no respect. As a matter of fact, acting this way will get you slapped/grounded/sent to detention/headed for hell/or any combination of the above. Did everyone miss the message in Mean Girls? Sheesh! I miss seeing gracious ladies on TV. Gracious. Ladies.

  • When you see gray move out the way: BougieMom and I were power shopping at Sam's yesterday. Admittedly, I sometimes use these excursions to make sure BogieMom gets her exercise in. So I walked up, down and around the giant store until I was tired. By the time we battled through check out and were ready to exit, both of us were dragging. As we were approaching the exit where the guy reviews your receipt, a young couple approached almost knocking over BougieMom and pushing their cart in front of ours. Sam's dude checked their receipt first and then noticed I was giving him the OneChele "if looks could kill you would already be SO dead" glare of doom. He was extra-friendly, "How ya'll doin'? Thanks for shopping at Sam's! Appreciate your patience." The young couple was giggling as they exited the store. I stepped out after them and declared in extra loud voice, "That is SO RUDE! People just have NO manners these days… almost running over a senior citizen." They stopped giggling and the man had the good sense to turn red when others in the immediate area turned to look at them. BougieMom and I sent a dual "for shame!" look their way and departed. I know we just covered this last week but did they stop teaching respect of elders? Has common courtest became uncommon? Are we in such a "I'm gonna get mine!" society that we're ignoring the basics?

  • Basic Eating Habits: So I was in a restaurant the other night and I understand they thought it was cozy and intimate. No, it was small and cramped. They had the tables so close together that you had no choice but to be all up in each other's business. Like after we ordered appetizers, the girl next to me leaned over, "Have you had the crabcakes here before? I wasn't sure if I should try them" Le Sigh. Unfortunately, she did order the crabcakes and proceeded to eat them (sauce and all) with her fingers. She spoke with her mouth full, she slurped when she drank, and she laughed frequently and loudly (still with a mouth full of food). This was not a dainty eater. Alright, shrimp can be tricky. It is a peeve of mine when they bring you a pasta dish and leave the shells on the shrimp. That's the sign of lazy chef-work. But there is a way to de-shell a shrimp swimming in sauce that does not involve delving into your bowl with your hands and then stacking the shells in the middle of the table (on the linen, next to the candle). There has got to be a way to spin said pasta without flinging sauce on your neighbors or your date. At one point her date looked over at me and mine with such a pained expression that we almost offered to scoot down one so he could join us. Seriously, in my head I still hear the song that BougieYoungerBro and I made up because we'd heard the words so many times, "Elbows off the table, napkin in your lap, food should not be played with, don't make me say more about that!" Oh, I'm sorry – is this more of that home training we decided was non-existent last week.

Do you agree, BougieLand? Are women on TV (reality show or otherwise) extra catty, tacky and overly made up? Did I miss a memo, is it suddenly acceptable to eat with your fingers and lick them like a cat? I understand that I have been on etiquette for a while this month but it has really occurred to me that overall, people kind of suck at it. For those in need of a refresher, here's Emily Post's Etiquette Daily… I'm just saying. You know who you are.