Not allowed in BougieLand… Michael Steele

If there's one thing that Bougie Folk cannot stand, it's Bougie Wannabes making us all look bad. If you are educated beyond high school, getting your upwardly mobile hustle on and have managed to convince a decent-sized group of melanin-challenged people that you are a non-threatening good person to be around, you are well on your way to bouge. As a self-appointed spokesperson of all things bougie, I can say there is no room in the Siddity Committee (thanks Watson for the name) for Uncle-Tom-ing, shuck-n-jiving, playing the race card all willy-nilly nonsense. Complete violation of Bouge Rule #9. There's a great line said by Danny Glover in the movie Silverado (a classic), "That ain't right, and I'm tired of what ain't right."

Yeah, I'm talking to you Michael Stephen Steele. You ain't right. You have been cut out of this episode of the Bouge and the Beautiful. You have been voted OFF the BougieLand Island. There are a lot of Steel(e)(s) I like; Remington Steele, Stainless Steel, hammered steel makes beautiful jewelry, steel-toed boots from my flirtation with punk-rock in the early 80s. But you, M.S.Steele, you are ruining the word association for us all. As a matter of fact, you are jacking up the positive image of bougie (The Bougie Positivity of Visibility scale) for all of us. On a scale of one to ten, where one is Diddy (wannabe) and ten is Barack Obama (arrived) you are at -2.

We have given you every opportunity to shape up. We don't care about the Republican of it all; align yourself as you see fit to make your paper, player. We of the bougie set admire the game: Bouge Rule #10. In fact, here are some things we actually admire about you. From USA Today:

  • He grew up in a family of Democrats. Steele credits his mother, Maebell, and Ronald Reagan with turning him toward the Republican Party. Reagan's pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps message recalled a trait Steele's mother exhibited after her first husband, Steele's father, died in 1962 of alcoholism-related liver disease. She refused to go on welfare. Instead, she went to work as a laundress earning minimum wage to support Michael and his sister.

  • One of the first in his family to go to college, he earned a bachelor's degree in international relations from Johns Hopkins University and a law degree from Georgetown University Law Center. Steele also spent a few years at the Augustinian Friars Seminary at Villanova University, in preparation for the priesthood, before deciding instead on a career in civil service.

  • Steele rose quickly in the Republican Party, beginning at the local level in Prince George's County as chair of the Prince George's County Republican Central Committee from 1994 to 2000. Then, he was elected chairman of the Maryland Republican Party in December 2000.

  • Steele became the first African-American elected to statewide office in Maryland, taking office as lieutenant governor in January 2003.
  • What we DO care about and what gets a purple pump kicked squarely into your hindparts are the following offenses (not a comprehensive list by any means, but representative):
    • The fakeness: You want to apply party principles (which are what exactly?) to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings?" You have an "off-the-hook" plan? For real though? What might that be, homey? We are so pleased you speak with ebonic correctness. How's that working for you?

    • The flippity-floppity ass kissing: Please remove your lips from Rush Limbaugh's hindparts. We know Rush is Beelzebub's minion but you cannot seem to make up your mind. "He's just an entertainer" or he's someone you have "immense respect" for? Pick a side.... stick to it.

    • The for-no-real-reason ass kissing: And now kindly back your lips away from Sarah Palin's rear end. Most of us cannot keep up with her motives and intentions (or press appearances) from day to day but we recognize the suspect and shady when we see it. But not you SuperMike; you are "very excited about the opportunity to have Sarah Palin freed up now to engage across the country to help, you know, reorient the party and grow it." Seriously, you feel like she's going to reach those urban hip hop folks you spoke of? I keep seeing references to Palin/Steele 2012… pardon me, I have to go breathe into a paper bag for a minute.

    • The Puppet Prince of it all: You are the "de facto head of the RNC" but you have a spending limit and an oversight committee and consultants to "assist" you with your "messaging"? Um, that would be an authority fail. I would have far more respect if you just stepped up to the mic and said, "I'm the HNIC round these parts, ya voted me up in here and now you're stuck with me." Won't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

    • The really (I mean really) bad sound bites: Too many to mention Mike, let me just embed a little sumthin' sumthin' below:

    Uh yeah, he said it. He can’t think of any examples of Republican inclusiveness since the Emancipation Proclamation? He’s bringing the fried chicken and the potato salad? For that alone, you are irrevocably drop-kicked from the Waitlist for BougieLand. You can knock but you can’t come in. You know what, don’t even knock. I am so through with you. Please pack up your raggedy rhetoric, your attention-seeking party members and kick rocks. If you haven’t peeped your Urban Dictionary lately, that means get to steppin’. Alrighty then, ‘nuff said.

    So what are your thoughts on Michael Steele? Is he smarter than he's coming across? Does he really believe his own hype? Anyone else need to be kicked out of BougieLand?