Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Too much "Ha!" in the A-ha! Moment - A Bougie Bachelor Chronicle

Two of our Bougie Bachelors in their late thirties started dating 2 young ladies of Asian descent in their early 20s. I say this not to judge (cuz I don't care - find you some happy) but to give you context for the upcoming BougieTale.

I had occasion to meet the young ladies early in the year and... it did not go well. One of the Harajuku Twins (Google it. Never mind, I Googled it for you here. Sorry for the snark but the similarities were plentiful) was dating an ex of mine. Which I was okay with until she turned nasty and insinuated that upon seeing me in person she understood why I "couldn't hold onto that man"...  The conversation devolved from there. I may or may not have called her Kikalolu a la Whitley from a Different World. I felt justified after she referred to me as a "round the way chick" um... me? A-ight den. But to each his own and whatnot. 

Where the story goes off the rails is when Bougie Bruh #2 (BB2) decides to marry Kikalu two or three months into the relationship. Calls me up all excited, do I want to come to Vegas to attend his Bellagio Bash avec Bridal Boo-Thang? Yeah... no. Even I knew that had disaster written all over it. About twenty folks packed their bags and headed off to Sin City on a Friday afternoon. Bachelor/Bachelorette parties Friday night with the wedding planned for midnight Saturday/Sunday. 

Here's where the story gets fuzzy. Things happened Friday night and like a good mystery novel, no one really had the whole story. What we do know is that 11:00pm Saturday night, no Kinu. Her girl was missing too. 11:15, 11:30, 11:45... M.I.A. A little after midnight folks go in search of girlie and gal-pal. They find them at a high-stakes poker table seated on the laps of two huge guys. They were either MMA or WWE or some sort of three initial fighting thing. As BB2 looks on, Kiki starts tonguing down dude in the middle of the Bellagio casino. 

Kikalu looks up, blinks and says, "Hey, I meant to call you. I got married last night!" She held up her hand to flash a ring. I'll let that sink in. 

Yeah, seems she decided that BB2 was trying to turn her into a housewife and she still wanted to part-ay. She met Clint or Clive or whatever MMA/WWE dude's name was at her bachelorette party and after five glasses of champagne explained that while she wanted to be married, she didn't want to be "all serious" with it. O__o Clint/Cliff/Clive (also not sober) suggested she marry him instead. They could just have fun. And so she did. The other Harajuku Twin decided Kikalu was right and she bailed on Bougie Bruh #1 as well. 

No one in the Bougie Crew went home happy. Except for Jay & Joy who won $5k at the blackjack table.

Upon hearing this tale, I asked BB2 the question - "What did you have in common with her? What made her wife material for you?" After a long silence, I was told that she was sweet and she didn't make him think. Oh. I didn't know someone who turned your brain off was hotness. :-/

Eight weeks later, girlie tried to say she made a mistake and she just got nervous and some other manner of foolery. He replied by sending a court order for the immediate return of the engagement ring and delivering whatever she left at his spot to her front door. She says she already gave the ring back and he must have "misplaced it"... 

So then I asked, "What did you learn from this?"  The reply, "I need a little less ha in my a-ha moments." Clever but I persevered, "Seriously, this was a life lesson. You have to have a takeaway." He shrugged, "Don't get married in Vegas?" I flung up my hands, "Vegas was not the problem." He tried again, "I should have insured the ring?"

I give up. Bougieland, can you name the twenty gazillion things our boy did wrong here? You don't need to be polite. Sometimes tough love is for the best...

79 comments:

One Chele said...

this is the synopsis from your next book and you want to gauge interest... this cant be real life???

dude got what he deserved... he tried to circumvent the matrix of a legitimate relationship by finding an easy out and it blew up in his face.

Life lesson #10000 never cut corners, definitely in matters of the heart

One Chele said...

It sounds like his criteria for marriage was the all too common" she's nice and she likes me a lot." Relationships take work and if it's too easy (aka things always go your way and you aren't having to make any adjustments/personal growth) then it's not going to go the distance. Stop taking a "Milton Bradley 8 and under" approach to love and go sit at the grown folks table. Smh that they're pushing 40 and not 30.

One Chele said...

Wish I could like this a Thousand times "dude got what he deserved... he tried to circumvent the matrix of a legitimate relationship by finding an easy out and it blew up in his face.
Life lesson #10000 never cut corners, definitely in matters of the heart"



OAN: Was this Shawn and David? Not your year ATALL

One Chele said...

You can't turn a Ho into a housewife.

If his standard for a wife is someone that doesn't make him think then it sounds like he found his match.

If he wants to do better then he needs to BE better.

One Chele said...

I rebuke this story in the name of Jehovah-Jireh.
And Trey should know better.
*drops mic*
*flees*

One Chele said...

So was one of these men DLC? And the other was...? Please don't say Trey.


I have no words for these levels of shenanigans. Was this a midlife crisis? What almost 40 year old man tries to marry a woman half his age & still in her party girl phase? Does not compute.

One Chele said...

He knew her for less than half a year. All he knew what that she was good in bed and didn't make his head hurt. If you just want to be married to say you married and have regular cocoa served up, there's a mail order service for that. So much wrong here, I can't think of anything he did right. Disappointing..

One Chele said...

When you know better and still don't do better is that crazy or stubborn?

One Chele said...

When your mate does not make you think, it means that she/he probably does not think much either. Leads to a lot of "Oops, I made a mistake with the bank account, I didn't think" or "Oops he/she meant nothing to me, I didn't think" or "Oops sorry I didn't come home, I didn't think."


Also, how does "not thinking" translate to any future kids? Is the goal for them to "not think" either?


Ridiculousness...I can't even shake my head.

One Chele said...

All of y'all play too durn much! Was this a script for a new reality show?? I can't believe this is actually real life. As in someone's actual real life haps. All I got for BB#2 is to date someone for at least 6-12 months before you decide to wife them up. The representative will fade away and then you will have the real deal Holyfield. That's what you base 'spend my life with you' on. Yeah...some folks do it in less than 6 months, but they are the exception...not the rule.

One Chele said...

*blink* *blink* blink* Are they serious. Like, for real?


How are you pushing 40 and your life decision making is getting WORSE and not better???


I'm just all sorts of confused as to how anyone thought a happy ending would happen here. How 20 folks rolled deep to Vegas and that bachelor party was not an all our INTERVENTION. What about your friends...?


I just can't.

One Chele said...

Me too...these are the ones left out in the dating pool *weeps*

One Chele said...

I'm not one to curse but...

This makes no good g-d sense. None.
Marriage ain't nuthin' to eff wit.
Keep playin' and see what happens.

One Chele said...

Joy and I actually won $15,000.
And I managed to knock Joy up while we were there - that trip was the hotness.
Baby J coming next fall.

One Chele said...

Awwww!!! Congrats!!! I guess there was a happy ending...for those who went there with common sense! LOL

One Chele said...

Congratulations! That's wonderful.


Now, can I ask why you're friends don't have no sense & can't get right?

One Chele said...

Classy way to put it Mr. Jay. Classy.
Chele, he won't let me name the baby Purple Bougielicious, sorry.

One Chele said...

You tried it. Congrats you two!

One Chele said...

I got nothing. This is shameful. *hangs head*

One Chele said...

Congrats!

One Chele said...

Ignorant

One Chele said...

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Jay!!!
Can I hold a lil sumthin?

One Chele said...

OhhhhhMyyGoodnesssss. It took me twenty minutes to read this post because I kept scrolling back up to make sure I had everything straight because I just could NOT believe what I was reading.


This is the kind of mess that if it were in a movie it would have me talking back to the screen. Both of them need to be roasted but BB2 needs to be roasted fo' the rest of his life because he didn't learn a lesson. How does that happen? *logs off laughing hysterically*

One Chele said...

Congratulations!

One Chele said...

Thnking like this here is why we can't have nice things...LOL

One Chele said...

I refuse to comment on the grounds that this story hasta (yes hasta) be made up.

One Chele said...

The levels of disappointment are insurmountable. I get it the dating pool is crappy, trust me I KNOW, but these heauxnanigans here are just.....Like seriously I can't even laugh at this shit! And this is why Shawn thought it was ok to holla at BB1's ex and has probably hit everyone of BB2's exes! Just fuckin wow!!!

One Chele said...

I was there, it was ugly. And whoever below said there should have been an intervention, there was. It didn't take. And here we are.

One Chele said...

*throws tomatoes at monitor*

One Chele said...

GAM I'm trying to have something nice that's why I asked! LOL!!!

One Chele said...

All I can say on behalf on my boys is that the struggle to be wifed up is real.

One Chele said...

Bryan the struggle is indeed real but your boys are trying to take the easy way out. If they continue the struggle to stay married will be "realer". The struggle to not pay alimony to several ex wives will be even "realer" than that!

One Chele said...

Whelpity-welp.

One Chele said...

My absolute first thought when I heard this was: People play too much.

One Chele said...

I'm caught between Chele is a good writer & this is a plot for her new book & how & why?.

One Chele said...

Not Jehovah-Jireh, the Provider! Ha! Preach on it...

One Chele said...

Can we get some more details?

One Chele said...

Congratulations!

One Chele said...

Congrats!

One Chele said...

I can't even put this mess in a book. My editor would have a fit. "Not believable, Michele, you have to give the reader something to relate to!"

One Chele said...

"It was...it didn't take."


Jesus wept!

One Chele said...

But there are so many good, decent single women out there. Ask me how I know *sigh*....I just can't...

One Chele said...

No dear, this is very much REAL ASS LIFE! LOL!! A sad and sorry real ass life, but real none the less!

One Chele said...

This is a whole new level of stupid. But then again hilarious. Woulda served him right to be stuck with Mrs. Harajuku.

One Chele said...

Congratulations, that's awesome!

One Chele said...

Psychotic?

One Chele said...

Too bad they are so hard to find.

One Chele said...

this right here ^^^^^ that intervention needed to happen WAYYYY before anyone was Vegas bound

One Chele said...

It's amazing how much real life wtfuggery would never make it in print.

One Chele said...

WTFuggery??? Love it!

One Chele said...

No surprise here. N*ggas love ratchets and bougie bruhs do too! ::shrugs::

One Chele said...

I will fight you. LOL

One Chele said...

After recovering from the Vegas part of the story I had to read the part about the "misplaced engagement ring" twice to make sure I read it right the 1st time. So did she "return" the ring at the same time she was recovering from her other "marriage mistake."

One Chele said...

Ahem. Can we get a guest post on that. Daaang.

One Chele said...

If "doesn't make me think" is the new hotness, I officially throw in ALL the towels.


This story truly made my brain hurt. Guess I was thinking too much...ha.

One Chele said...

Ok, I usually lurk on here, but I'll come out of lurkdom for this story. The question is not what did ol' boy do wrong, it's what did he do RIGHT? But if his mindset is he wants someone who doesn't make him think, then I guess there will be a few more chronicles about him, because he's bound to keep making these types of mistakes.


My first thought on this story, was Michele is DEFINITELY a good writer. But after reading a couple of co-signs on the tomfoolery, I just.can't.

One Chele said...

There is such a thing as being too picky. But if your sole requirements for a wife are that she's sweet and doesn't make you think, you sir, are not being picky ENOUGH. Standards--getchu some! Anyone worth being with is going to challenge you sometimes, not to antagonize you but to make you better. And lastly, it helps to see someone in all 4 seasons before making a lifetime commitment. Just sayin'.

One Chele said...

Sad to see this is about our third or fourth Bachelor Chronicle on BB2. Bless his heart.

One Chele said...

A speechless (textless?) Riley. This is a first.

Someone once told me I made him think too hard. I apologized (sarcastically) for hurting him and kept on walking.

One Chele said...

How many ways can one man get busted by ratchedness?

One Chele said...

Aaaawwwww...congratulations, Jay!

One Chele said...

I must not be living right because I ain't never, ever met any men like these men in Bougie Tales!!

One Chele said...

Definitely Tyler Perry with a D list actor and actress. Stage play.

One Chele said...

Actually, that means you are living right. :-)

One Chele said...

I wish I could contribute some words of wisdom to this discussion, but I am on my way to the ER as I cannot stop this fit of hysterical laughter that has overtaken me, and it has unfortunately triggered an asthma attack.

One Chele said...

Congratulations! :)

One Chele said...

I... am actually speechless. I got nothing

One Chele said...

First a slow clap for coming back on the blog. With material like this, i can't believe you stayed away so long. After reading this twice and the comments all I can do is shake my head. I understand it can get frustrating in the search but good Lord. This story proves that God does indeed protect babies and fools. Had He not stepped in, in a few years this would've been a "Henry" (I think that was the other guy's name). Now as to the answer to your question:

1. He could've actually used his brain to think. That would've prevented all of this foolishness.

One Chele said...

Scrolling through the comments, the one expanded question which was not asked is this:


How is it that two college educated, professional men, who from outward appearances give every impression of being intelligent, witty, well put together and decent sorts of guys, but who on closer examination seem to have the maturity level of 16 year old boys?


And what is it with this equally childish nonsense of continually wanting to introduce your ex to every trick of the month who you are dating? Who does that sort of thing? It is always nice when two people remain on good and friendly terms with one another after a break-up. But are you fishing for approval or desperately attempting to make your ex jealous by parading every new flavor sharing your bed in front of her?


Both of these "men" need to grow the **** up already. What was amusing a year or so ago, has now become profoundly embarrassing and just down right stupid.

One Chele said...

The BBQ girl was better than this and I thought that was a mess.

One Chele said...

Wait. Hold u which ex is this? New jack city dancing ex with the crazy ex wife?

One Chele said...

truth is stranger than fiction
uh uh uh

One Chele said...

Wowzas as in Wow! Worse still is that there seems to be no life lessons learned! This is just sad funny... more sad though. Calls for an Iyanla episode but this one will be Iyanla fix my brain!

One Chele said...

EDUCATION DOES NOT MERIT COMMON SENSE

One Chele said...

Thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family?

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Are you passing through any of these problems,

DO YOU NEED YOUR EX BACK VERY FAST

DON YOU WANT YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU AS NEVER LIKE BEFORE

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM A LONG TIME SICKNESS

ARE YOU FACING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

ARE YOU SEEKING FOR A GOOD JOB

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOUSE OWNER

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIRST CLASS GRADE

DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT FIRST IN YOUR EXAMS

ARE YOU A STAR AND YOU WANT TO BE SO POPULAR TO THE WHOLE WORLD

DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH

DO YOU WANT YOUR BUSINESS TO KEEP MOVING

DO YOU HAVE A COMPANY OF ANY KIND AND YOU WANT IT TO EXPAND

DO YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE TO KEEP TO YOUR WORLD

ARE YOU FACING ANY MARITAL PROBLEMS

ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

ARE YOU EXPERIENCING MISCARRIAGES ANY TIME YOU TAKE IN

DO YOU WANT TO COMPETE IN ANY LOTTERY GAME

ARE YOU FACING HARDSHIP

HAVE YOU BEEN THREATENED BY SOMEONE

DO YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY THING YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON

IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER BEHAVING STRANGELY

ARE YOU FACING WITCH CRAFT MANIPULATIONS

DO YOU WANT TO CAST A STRONG LOVE SPELL ON YOUR GIRL OR BOY FRIEND

DO YOU NEED MAGIC POWERS TO DO ANY THING YOU WANT

ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER

DO YOU WANT YOUR PARENTS TO BE PROUD OF YOU

ARE YOU EXPERIENCING FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN ANY THING YOU DO.(ETC)

I will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.,,,

One Chele said...

I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD'S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS; okorospell@gmail.com ......HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY ... CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL: okorospell@gmail.com

One Chele said...

I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD'S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS; okorospell@gmail.com ......HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY ... CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL: okorospell@gmail.com ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

One Chele said...

I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD'S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS; okorospell@gmail.com ......HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY ... CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL: okorospell@gmail.com .......................

One Chele said...

How I Got My Husband Back........... My Names is Kathy Gilber
,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i
met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a
business summit i meet a man called Dr OYINBO is powerful he could help
you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover
looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money
spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos
the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and
my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3
year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no
good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what
happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was
undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6
days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he
called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been
settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we
should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked
for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we
are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my
husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case
anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address:
prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com...........

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