Go ahead and color me old school, I'm good with that. But I'm not a fan of texting. I've tried especially since my teenaged niece and nephew seem incapable of dialing but can text me the updates to their lives on regular intervals. Le Sigh. I have my reasons, here are but a few:
1. People expect immediacy from texts but I don't keep my cell phone attached to my side. Because I work from home, I have a home number and an office number right by by side. If we are tight, call one of my many numbers and talk to me. Don't take the fact that I didn't return your text within five seconds personally. Unless you call me and I let it go to voicemail, that you can take personally.
2. People text shiggity they would never the eff say. In other words, texting is the cell phone equivalent of being keyboard brave. And ya'll know how I feel about folks that only have spine when no one can see or hear them. Especially the fellas, please quit making all manner of epic cocoa swirl promises over the text only to possess zero ability to back them up in real life. That's not hot. At all.
3. You cannot always pick up inflections from a text. I may or may not have the tendency to get dramatical in my phrasing and tone as I speak. Okay, I do. But you miss all of the nuance in a text. There's a big difference between "Oh, really?" in a surprised tone and "Oh. REAL-ly?" in a dry and sarcastic snark. For you to appreciate my snark, you must speak to me.
4. Texting can be irritating. Again old school but the keyboard is tiny, the Auto-correct is kinda Nazi and my need to properly punctuate adds a level of irritation I cannot describe. By the time I've texted back my response in the format I deem proper, I could have called you and told you twice.
5. People assume a text is as good as a phone call. No. It is not. If you say, "I'll talk to you later" do not follow up with a text saying "Hi" that is not the same thing at all. In some cases, dare I say that texting is just plain lazy? Why are you too busy to make a brief phone call but can send me twenty text messages in a half hour? Does. Not. Compute.
Honorable mention to companies who now think it's okay to text you. Dear AT&T, I absolutely do not need you to text me a bill reminder. You've already emailed me and sent one to my home. I'm straight. If I haven't paid you yet, it's because I don't want to. Your text is not changing my mind. Le Boo.
And don't get me started on the fact that people now seem to think it's okay to use texting abbreviations in business correspondence. It is not. I work on a virtual consulting team and last week, chick sent an entire note of text language to explain her report. I had to read it six times to understand that she was basically saying she didn't finish the report because her child was sick and she'd be back later. Don't do this. No. Not ever. Someone make it stop.
Is it just me? Am I the only one who still prefers a phone call or a face-to-face meeting over texts? Do share...
40 comments:
I'm the opposite. Texting was made for people like me. I HATE the phone. Don't call me when you can text. Don't call me after I text...I'll ignore the call and text you back...if I feel like it.
I'm half and half. when I don't want to be bothered, texting is awesome. Wait, I see your point.
I am going to call you old school. I love a text. 30 seconds and I'm done. Ain't nobody got time to be yakking it up all night. Hey. How you. Whatcha doing. Coming through. Done.
though I see where that might offend the bouge in you -
LOL, LMAO, ROTFL (see what I did there>)
I do think texting has caused some people to forget (if they ever knew) how to carry on a good conversation. I just wince at how socially awkward people are because they don't have to communicate in more than 140 characters. And you are right, some people totally hide behind a text. The ex would always send his arguments in a text. I would refuse to answer forcing him to actually speak. One of many reasons it didn't work out
point blank texting for me when I was single meant that I wanted to talk to you but I couldnt give you my full attention. I was probably watching sports, playing video games or out and about and really couldnt have a phone conversation so rather than get cursed out over not really answering your questions or being engaged in the convo I text.
talking on the phone is a love/hate thing for me, sometimes I loved it because it allowed a more personal interaction but if the conversation was boring/awkward I couldnt wait to end the convo and with texting you didnt have to worry about that, but I am against holding a 30 minute straight text convo, for that you can call someone.
I don't understand these people who feel like they have to answer a text immediately. I'm the Queen of "I'll get to it eventually, when I feel like it". If anything, a text is less urgent than a phone call. If you text me something, I assume it's not that important, because if it was, you would have called me.
i do think text has made a lot of men lazy especially when dating. Texting me (and 5 other chicks) good morning is not the same as calling me & saying hi or seeing how my day was. And don't get me started on that late night "you up?" text....
Depends on who it is. Some people I only text with. Some I only call. My daughter though...had to teach her that something I need to know RIGHT NOW requires a phone call. I may not read a text until whenever...
No it is not just you. I also feel the same on comments & commentary via conversations online; it is easy to misinterpret something someone may have typed in jest or not, without knowing them personally. Technology has a tendency to be a blessing or a curse for many, I find it all very interesting; but if you are really unsure or what to know something immediately, it is best for you to call me directly.
but thats where you set your boundaries and standards on how things will go, and if they cant deal "on to the next one"
Texting should be an additional means of conversation, not the only. A quick - I'll be there in 10 is great. If I need to go into explanations, I'll call. I like talking, sitting down and having a decent conversation is one of the ways I get to figure out if we're compatible. But then again, I'm old school too.
I think a lot of those people are socially awkward in general - social media just allows them to have an interaction with the world. People don't "forget" how to interact & be social, some are just better at it than others & some have to rely on social media cause without it they'd be like friendless.
I have a friend who has a 5 text rule - if he sends more than 5 texts then he'll just pick up the phone, because obviously he & the person he's texting should have a voice to voice convo.
Yes I know Quinne. But I'm also not going to tell a guy at the first meeting "listen you have to do A,B & C and don't do D, E, F". And honestly, if I refused to date a guy unless he called me & never texted...I'd never go out. You just don't remember that life now that you're married :-P
People text shiggity they would never the eff say. <---- !!!!!!
i wont get into what the contributor said to me via text AFTER our phone convos....
i think there is a time and place for everything. travelling via transit/train - i know i don't want people in my convo and hate being in other people's convo, so texting is key.
but if im home, chillin like a villian? calling is usually better BUT i also have a newborn so, it might be not be depending on what's happening.
You know when me and the boo thing quit texting? When ninja texted me from the bathroom to bring him some toilet paper. :-/ #unsexy
You had mind enough to take your cell but not check for paper?
Priorities.
A few things:
First, I don't keep my phone attached to me at all times either but somehow people don't seem to understand this. I do let my phone go to voicemail often but I don't check it since I have Google Voice. It transcribes the voicemail message for me, although it's not that great. Bottom line: I'll get to ALL messages when I can.
Second, auto-correct is the DEVIL!
Lastly, I'm notorious for calling my friends mid text. I don't want to text an entire conversation. IMO, texts should be short and sweet.
LOL!! I bet he will look before he sits down next time.
All of this!
You know, I text a lot because I hate being a hostage on the phone, but when I'm getting to know a guy, I prefer a phone conversation or a face-to-face conversation. If I'm dating a guy and I call him and he responds via text, chances are I'm not going to acknowledge that.
I think you can set boundaries without laying out a list of rules. If they text you just say you prefer a call to a text when you are getting to know someone. If dude persists in texting once you have said that, then you know all you need to know and can keep it moving.
I was about to respond to this, read it again and realized what I missed the first time and now I'm giving Riley the eye. LOL
Ah, texting. I am not a fan. The expectation of immediate response, the narrowing of focus to a 3x5" shiny space in front of a person to the exclusion of all else, the inability to do it safely while driving, the slow+awkward typing / punctuation / autocorrect battles, all make it a lose for me, too. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of the phone, either, but I'll take a 60 second phone call any day over repeated texting. Also, yeah... AT&T gets a silent text tone. What is that even about, AT&T?
The inefficiency of texting enrages me so much that I have to change text tones regularly because the sound alone can make me want to punch walls. I'm a super busy person and I'm not glued to my phone, so if someone texts me wanting a reply, I have to drop EVERYTHING ELSE to text them back, and that's hugely interruptive. Email is so much better for me for quick messages, because I can read it, rapid-fire off a response in full sentences with adult punctuation, and get back to what I was already doing (usually work) in just a few seconds. (I *am* usually glued to my computer.) Also, when I'm prepping to be somewhere, I usually have so much to do that I'm very pressed for time, and people texting me during prep time about things related to upcoming event drives the stress up exponentially. I not only have to make myself late by finding out what they're texting about (in case it's really an emergency), but they're usually asking me to do something additional that they didn't think of until last minute. Honestly, I should just change my text tone permanently to, "Stop what you're doin', 'cause I'm about to ruin..." Yes. Yes, you are.
My biggest pet peeve is the person I'm driving to pick up from somewhere and they text me repeatedly to see how long it'll be before I arrive. "Add 5 minutes to every time I have to pull over to read and respond to your texts."
I think of a text as a snack. Quick, easy, brief. Something between meals to tide you over. I don't like to snack all day. eventually I want a full meal. O__o
Believe it or not, I'm not a text person. I especially get irritated if you text me and I try to call you back and you don't answer. Unless you are in church or at a meeting, why can't you pick up the phone? Not a fan.
In the initial getting to know you, I'm with you - needs to be via phone or face to face. After that, I don't need to be on the phone all the time. We can text if we're coordinating or just saying hi.
A year ago, I would've said I never text. Life with the husband is breaking me into the habit though. I think he's trying to reconcile me to taking my phone everywhere, which I do only under duress, because he wants me to have a way to call if something goes wrong. Nothing ever *has*, but, y'know, boom tomorrow. (There's always boom tomorrow.) So he texts to say he's on hs way home, from work to ask me to pick up things at the store, and me ... I chafe.
I don't *want* to be instantly available and constantly tethered. I chat when I'm at my computer, and when I'm not, or I don't feel like chatting, I exit the program or I leave the desk. The house phone has an answering machine function; if you must call, you can leave a message. Better yet, email me. I check my email several times a day. All these things give me the option of answering on my own schedule, when I'm not rushed or uncomfortable. Why, then, should I take an electronic leash to the park, the zoo, to school or work? No-one is entitled to instant responses ... and I *am* entitled to stretches of time uninterrupted by people demanding them.
It depends on the situation. Texting is great for a quick message, but I don't hold conversations over text. If my response is too long or we start texting back and forth, I pick up the phone. I also don't feel the need to answer texts immediately, because I agree that if it was urgent then the sender would call me. In a new relationship, we definitely need to talk over the phone and in person. You simply cannot get to know someone in 140 characters or less.
I send texts when it's not urgent, when I don't feel like talking or when I want my family back home to call me (free for them, international calling charges for me). I sent my friends a group text when my bf and I broke up because I didn't feel like rehashing it with every single person in back to back conversations but wanted them to know before it was "facebook official" (ie, removing my relationship status and all pictures of him).
"Add 5 minutes to every time I have to pull over to read and respond to your texts."...DEAD
Ditto this! You can't get to know someone via texting, so this is limited to small talk. Folks I know I will text until, like someone mentioned, it's obvious we need to talk.
Text = quickie?
#2 and #3 are the worst! Texting has it's place. Dude that seemed interested wanted to keep me in Text Jail. After he flaked on our 1st face to face, I wrote him off. A little over a month later:
Him: Good evening!
Me: Good evening. How are you?
Him: (an hour later) Sorry dozed off. Doing well.
Me: *silence*
GTFOH with that!!! You're done son!
This all day.
I like to hear a person's voice. Old school all the way! Texting is useful for me only if it's briefly relaying information or if it's not possible to talk at that time.
I just can't get into that tic- tac -toe form of communication. If a gentleman wants to tell me something, he needs to call me. Otherwise, we won't talk at all.
I'm old school as well. I don't text, never have. I can almost bet you that I'm the ONLY person in America who doesn't have that feature on their phone. I'm not knocking it for those who love it. It's just not for me. But, I do have one gripe, if I may. If you and I are in a real time conversation, why are you scrolling through your phone reading old messages? Am I that boring? Did you forget I was there? And why are you responding to texts all the while saying to me, " I'm listening, I just have to send this message really quick." Ladies and gentleman, this is beyond rude. Lately, I've noticed a lot people have a closer relationship with their phones than with people. Old school or not, I find that rather strange.
I have had this same conversation with my friends lately. Texting is great for a quick I'll be there in a few, Call me when you get off work, etc. However, holding whole conversations...yeah miss me with that. Men and women have gotten lazy with this texting business out here in these streets. A dude that I was somewhat interested in kept texting me, I purposely kept ignoring his text messages to see if he would get the hint to pick up the dang phone and call me. Earlier this month:
Him: How are you?
Me (three days later): I'm good. Listen I don't like text messaging for conversations. So, if you would like to talk to me feel free to give me a call.
Him: Sounds good I will call you later.
Fast forward 3 days later, he decides to call me and proceeds to not leave a message on my voicemail...uh yeah he has been deleted from my phone.
I'm cool with texting but only as an additive to communication never the alternative. My ex texted so much I felt like that freaking phone was surgically attached to her hand. I had more pictures of her on her phone texting than anything.
I think texting gets a bad rap! If you're a good communicator you can communicate well via any medium, including texting. I love texting because it allows me to multitask and do other things while still chatting with whoever it is. I've had full blown convos via text that I felt like were just a valuable as a phone convo would've been, albeit it took longer but whatever. Personally I'm fine with texting friends and family as a main means of communication. The only time I don't think it's appropriate is when I'm getting to know someone new...in that case we need to talk.
P.S I'm that guy who definitely writes back immediately and who expects immediate responses lol. A text is so easy why not just just respond and get it out of the way?? Maybe it's an age/generation thing (no offense).
A brief comment from a rant I had about all the craziness that comes from texting from a post I made on the same called Pleasure and Punctuation: "My Ex has a whole shower curtain of newfangled smiley faces! Including (((0))) (Oh! for a surprised face) and :-? ( for huh?). I feel like these are the types of smiley faces that require explanation." http://minabee.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/pleasure-and-punctuation/
You are not alone in your preference for a phone call over a text.
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