|Not sure where this originated but it cracked me up.|
I was sitting in an airport coffee lounge not too long ago (don't ask me to be specific, I've been in 7 airports in the last 2 months). Next to me sat a youngish (mid-20s) looking couple with breakfast. Tight as the tables were, there's very little privacy. Consequently, when the couple looking like a Banana Republic ad come to life began to quarrel, I missed not nary a minute of it.
"Jonathon, you really should have gotten the granola and yogurt." The woman was eating a fruit cup and as she spoke, she waved her spoon around for emphasis."But I didn't want the granola and yogurt.""It's better for you."He paused and sent her a significant look. "So now you know what's better for me than I do? Really Susan?"
I immediately thought, "Girl, it's a trap question! Do. Not. Engage!" But I said nothing and Susan walked into the trap.
Ya'll already know what he said, right?"Well in this case it is obvious so yes, I do know what's better for you.""Uh huh." He picked up his bacon, egg and cheese bagel and took a huge bite.She made a disgusted face and snapped. "Are you seriously going to eat that bacon?""Yep." He took another bite."Bacon is like the worst thing in the world, you'll be dead before you're 30.""Bacon is one of the best things God invented.""It's salty and fattening and you'll get fat when your metabolism slows down.""My grandfather has eaten two eggs and three slices of bacon for breakfast for the past 40 years and he's fit as a fiddle.""It's just like playing Russian Roulette with your health.""I'll take my chances.""That's just silly. Pull the bacon out of the sandwich and eat the rest."Jonathon set down his sandwich slowly (it looked delicious by the way) and looked Susan dead in her eye before announcing, "It's what I want.""You should have the discipline to know you can't always have what you want.""That's it, I'm done.""With the sandwich?""With us.""What do you mean you're done? Like you're breaking up with me?""Not like I'm breaking up with you. I AM breaking up with you.""Over bacon?""It's not about the bacon, baby. It's you always thinking you know how my life should be. Even down to what I should eat for breakfast."She looked shell shocked. "It's my way of showing you I care.""It's not working for me.""I don't want to break up."
"You should have the discipline to know you can't always have what you want."
Dude walked off to eat his sandwich in peace. I was both fascinated and repelled. On the one hand, I'd never witnessed the actual break up of another couple. I've had enough of my own not to want to sit in on other folks' awkward "I'm outta here" moments. On the other hand, I was also irked that he went there in public. Dude, get through the plane ride and tell her when you land.
But then again, who knows how long it had been building up. That damn bacon was apparently the last straw. The bacon was the straw that broke that relationship's back. Now I don't know how long they were together and what there back story was. It's like a meteor strike. No one knows where it formed or how long it took to reach the earth's atmosphere. All we see is the impact and the fallout. Yes, BougieLand - I've now compared bacon to a meteor. Let me wrap this up.
It got me to thinking - do we know when we're approaching that bacon moment? Have we sat in relationships thinking "if he/she says one more damn thing about *insert issue here* - I'm outta here? Have we been the Susan, just positive we are doing what's best while the other person is ready to flee? Who do you empathize with? Susan or Jonathon? What's with the public break-up? Who has done this and why?