This week, let's do some Battle of the Sexes type commentary...
@EarthAngel172 and @TiffanyNHouston and I were discussing the myth that men bounce back from failed relationships quicker than women.
Yeah. I said it. It's a myth. I know folks have you thinking that women lie around in their grungy sweats eating ice cream, watching The Notebook and lamenting for lost loves while men are out getting it in two days after a major break up. Trust and believe that this is no indication that the woman is stuck in CouldaWouldaShouldaville while dude has moved on. I beleive men are better at appearing to move on. In other words, I think men are quick to say they are over it while women actually do get over it.
In fact, let's take a moment and define the BounceBack. Bouncing back from a relationship means actually accepting that it is over and allowing yourself to truly be happy with another without glancing back. Bouncing back also means not holding onto the anger or the bitterness (or the plan to run someone over in the parking lot at 2:00 am in an unmarked car - wait, that's just me - moving on) any more. When you can truly set the relationship in the closed file and think "NEXT!" without remorse, sorrow or pain? That's a BounceBack. This bounce may take 20 minutes (I can't be the only one who has stayed in a relationship too long so by the time we officially broke up it was like "Buh-Bye Now"), it may take 20 months... there may be no bouncing back from some relationships. [Lord, the boomerang relationships, where you keep going back? Don't get me started]
I also think it depends on the depth and seriousness of the break up. If you were just kicking it for a week or two versus being in a progressive 2+ year relationship makes a difference. Some say it takes a month for every year you were in the relationship to get over it. I say you bounce back when you bounce back and that's that. So who's better at it?
To clarify, bouncing on top of (or under, however you get down) another person is not a sign that one has bounced back. Indeed this is sometimes an indication that one is NOT over it and seeking to hide the pain through excessive endorphin release. [Hence the entire concept of rebound relationships]
In my experience, men hold onto hurts, perceived slights, break ups WAY longer than women - they just don't cop to it. A man will remember the name of the chick who snubbed him on the playground between 3rd and 4th period back in junior high. I know more dudes that swear "I'm over it" but still have girl's name in the cellie, still track her on FB and know exactly who she's seeing now and how it's going. I know a dude who four years later still drives past his ex-wife's house on his way to work. Five days a week, out of his way, to roll past the house. They are both married to new people. That's so not over it.
Women on the other hand, tend to hold onto the pain and nurse it for a minute. They discuss it, dissect it, review it and rehash it until one day either everyone has told her to woman up already, she meets someone who makes her wonder why she missed the last one or she woke up and it's just like... meh. Over it. Women are hardwired to express our emotions (sometimes overly so), men not so much. Not saying men are not sensitive, talkative, let's-get-into-it creatures. Just saying that hallmark carding every thought is not so much a man thing (in my experience).
Nor do I believe that the best way to get over one person is to get under another. But since we're going discussion style this week, I'll let you all battle it out in the comments - who's better at truly getting over love lost? Men or women? Is it harder for men to admit "defeat" in a relationship due to ego? Vote and do tell us your thoughts in the comments section. What say you?