I'm a year further away from
30 40 today. On the one hand, glad I made it. On the other hand, since when am I not 32 anymore? Le Sigh.
Moving on. There's an old cliche about not teaching old dogs new tricks. And I'm pleased to say (if I would call myself an old dog) that's absolutely untrue. More accurate would be to say you can't teach a young dog new tricks because they think they know them already. Twenties are for trying everything and messing things up. Thirties are for fixing what you messed up in your twenties. Forties are about figuring it all out so you can make it to your fifties.
At this point, if you're not where you're supposed to be yet, you really should have an idea of how it's going to happen or get on a new path. Forties are where you also accept that some things aren't going to happen. There will not be babies coming up outta here. Doesn't hurt to admit though I'd've been a damn good mom. I'll settle for being the best aunt on the planet. Chances are I'm not going to be a rock star, a space shuttle pilot, or a world reknown surfer either. Some dreams you just have to let die a certain death.
But what I am still working on is having a Michele Grant book on every shelf (or tablet), I'll never get beyond the need to write interesting things and have people be entertained by them. Marriage - Lawd, I don't know. I'm in a happy place and if I could hold onto that, I'd be all good.
There's also a freedom of reaching a certain age and no longer giving ANY damns about what folks think about you, want you to do or expect you to be. We off that. When I reach BougieMom's age of 80 (God Willing), I'm going to get like Miss Nellie. She no longer bites her tongue for anybody. If she's thinking it, she says it. This makes for highly entertaining and high embarassing conversation.
But back to the old dogs and new tricks - In reconnecting with an ex over the past few months (not that ex, a different ex) I'm borderline shocked that at long last he appears to have matured into the individual I thought he was fifteen years ago. You know how you listen to someone and you keep waiting for them to say that one thing that makes you say "this man hasn't learned a damn thing" - haven't heard it yet. It could happen but so far, so good.
As for me, I'm don't mind learning new things and exploring different paths. I call myself a sensible adventurer.
Let me pause - I watched Grey's Anatomy last night and learned about "vijazzling" women getting their vijayjays bedazzled for special occassions. No. I'm not ready. That's one trick I'll leave to other puppies. Fancy undies from Vicki's is as far as I can go.
And we're back... There's definitely something to be said for being comfortable in your own skin. Knowing that sometimes you don't have to be at the hottest party wearing the cutest dress in the highest heels. Sometimes you want to curl up in front your TV and watch a marathon of The Wire in your ratty sweats. And that's okay.
That being said, I'm off to DC for the Inauguration because you know... even though I'm older, I still gets my party on. Me and BougieFam will be at the Ritz Carlton for about four days filled with balls, brunches lunches, dinners, drinks and whatever else we can squeeze in the celebration. if you're in the DMV, hit me up - we'll see if we can raise a toast.
What about you? Are you settled in your ways? More or less resistant to change as you get older? Do you know someone who is determined to do things the same way, no matter what? Do share...