As many of you know, there is a popular meme that one of the reasons why so many of the "Black SuperWoman" types are still single and in fact struggling to find a date is because men are intimidated by all the glossy wonderfulness. There is an entire cottage industry devoted to answering that 'Why still single?" question on our behalf. Be that as it may, I wanted to see if this is a real thing or something women tell ourselves to feel better about being alone.
So I took a straw poll. Not a big one but still... I asked 20 guys, some married and some single, ranging in age from 25 - 45. I asked two questions:
- Do guys ever think that a woman is "out of his league" and if so, do they admit it?
- Would you be intimidated to date/marry a woman far more successful (professionally) than you?
Mayhaps it's the guys I know but 20 out of 20 fellas said they do know when they are dating "above themselves" but that it's something they never admit. 20 of 20 said that their boys are the first ones to tell them "Dude, she's out of your league." Apparently, this does not deter a man from trying. As one of the fellas said, "Everyone wants to climb Mt. Everest, men always believe they can be the one lucky bastard to make it to the top." (And ladies, aren't we worth the climb?)
4 out of the 20 guys said they would not be comfortable dating/marrying a woman who was way more successful than they are. 16 of the guys said they had no problem with it. Of that 16, 10 said they would love for a woman to bring home more than half and/or all the bacon.
On the flip, I know when I was living in Marina del Rey, I went out with a guy who was cool until he saw the car I drove and realized where I lived. His exact words, "Oh you getting down like that?" He proceeded to bail and later sent me an email saying he wasn't down for a high-maintenance diva with standards he had to constantly live up to. Umm... it was appetizers at the Cheesecake Factory son. Calm down. So was he intimidated by my paycheck or by his perception that I was high maintenance and he couldn't maintain me?
Also, the 20 fellas said it was more likely that a man would be intimidated by looks before accomplishment but that wouldn't stop them from hollering. Haven't we talked about seeing a couple together and wondering "What is she doing with him?" and vice versa? Someone decided it was worth the climb.
I remember seeing an interview with Stevie Nicks (of Fleetwood mac) and Sheryl Crow and they were talking about the difficulties in being the star in a relationship. As Sheryl said, "No one wants to hold the purse and be called Mr. Crow all night."
So today's questions - Are men intimated by more successful women? Women does this even apply for us? Do we only "swim in our lanes" when we approach somebody? What say ye? Talk the quiz and leave a comment.