Wednesday, October 17, 2012

No. She. Didn't. A Bougie Bachelor Chronicle

Without further ado - Trey (@AnotherWord43) speaks (with my edits):

I met a young lady through Facebook. She sent me an email saying she read some of my comments here on BnB and thought we "might suit" each other. Was I flattered? Yes. Skeptical? Quite so. How would someone form that judgment based on some of the (admittedly) borderline ratchet things I've said in BougieLand? Then again, I work 90 hour weeks. I travel 75% of the time. My social life is ranked well below sleep, laundry and basic hygiene at this point so if I am to meet anybody right now, chances are it's through a social media outlet.

I decided to find her approach fresh and innovative and I replied back. We went from emails to phone calls and about three weeks later met for coffee. Her pictures did her justice and she lived up to the wit and humor of our conversations. Okay, I thought, this is a definite maybe in the right direction.

The first hiccup happened right around date 5 or 6 when we went to a nice restaurant in Far North Dallas. Not really upscale, just a nice restaurant. It was Houston's for clarification. If any of you have tried to get into a Houston's on a weekend in Dallas even with a reservation, you know the wait is nothing nice. At some point she perceived that we had been passed over for our table. She went up to the hostess and demanded to know why the "white folkz" were seated before us.

She may have had a point and she wasn't loud about it but in my mind, she shifted back towards the maybe not category. Dinner was nice and we had four more dates sans drama. This is why (Chele is giving me the look now) when I had a casual work dinner (where everyone was bringing a plus one) to attend, I asked her to come along. we were a few months in and besides that Houston's moment, I didn't see any major issues. Yes, I had a little pause when I found out the casual dinner was going to be at one of the Sr. VP's houses. It's one thing to bring along someone to a restaurant, it's another to have them in close settings in someone's home. Especially before the relationship is truly defined.

But since I'd already asked and she really hadn't shown any more off-kilter behavior, I decided to take her along. what harm could she do? Really, that was what I thought. Even thought it might be nice to go to one of these things without getting the "when are you getting a ball and chain" joke our CFO like to drop at every occasion. 

The night of the dinner, I picked her up at her front door and she looked great. She had a huge purse and a tote bag. Yes. Here is where I should have asked the question, "What's in the bag, Tamra?" But I didn't. I assumed she was being polite and bringing a hostess gift. 

We got there and everything was fine. There were about ten couples in attendance. We made the kind of not so important conversation you make with people that aren't necessarily friends but co-workers. Our hostess announced that dinner was being served. We made our way to the dining room. They seated us (the only people of color) right in the middle. Someone gave a half-hearted attempt at a prayer and the caterers began to serve the salad. After the salad, they started bringing in plates. This is where we rode off the rails.

Girlie reaches under the table, pulls out a Styrofoam container from her tote and plops it over her china plate. It's barbecue ribs and brisket. She pulls out her purse and gets a roll and a small container of potato salad. She then turns to one of the waiters and asks for... wait for it... hot sauce. You know the saying about hearing a pin drop? Well we heard the flea sitting on top of the pin say, "Welp" as the pin dropped. 

I leaned over and whispered, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I don't know what they eat, I brought my own." I translated for the stunned table, "Tamra has some food allergies so she tends to be extra careful." I MIGHT have gotten away with it if the caterer wasn't serving smoked pork loin with a potato salad. AND if she hadn't next said in a not so quiet voice, "Sorry, I don't trust white folk food."

I just closed my eyes and prayed for instant teleportation to a galaxy far, far away. What to do? Stay and brazen it out? I thought about it but what if she said something WORSE than she already had? I couldn't take the chance. I stood up and yanked her up by the arm - "Tamra isn't feeling well, I'm sure you understand" and started moving her towards the front door. She's protesting, "Let me just grab my plate" and I'm losing it, under my breath, "If you don't bring yo ass on!" 

Drove her back to her house in silence. Silence after she glanced at me and said, "You mad, huh?" Pulled up to her door, put my foot on the brake and unlocked the doors. "Guess you're not coming in?" Silence. "Guess I won't be seeing you again?" Silence. "You kinda buppified anyway." She got out and slammed the door. I drove back to my senior VP's house and had dinner. I had to. It was the only way to save face. They thought it was hilarious. I still do not. I will say this though: Yes, Chele. I too am too old for this ish.

BougieLand, what say you to Trey's tale of when keeping it real goes wrong? have you ever had a date cut a fool at a corporate function? How much do we hate those corporate functions anyway? Thoughts  comments  commiseration? do discuss...

184 comments:

Melissa Danielle said...

I absolutely refuse to believe this story is true! Tamra did not go to a dinner, a business dinner, and bring her own food. Trey, are you sure this wasn't just a bad dream?

Caroline said...

Man, I really do feel sorry for you.  My eyes widened when I read that homegirl pulled out her own food.  I've heard of some pretty embarrassing behavior demonstrated by dates in front of company, but this one takes the cake.

Da Lil Red Hen said...

LOL... 
Business functions are always tricky. Good call cutting the evening short for her before she cause any damage.

Diana said...

Aieeeee!!! All I gotta say is I'm glad it's equal opportunity foolishness out here in these dating streets! But in my Katt Williams voice, "I don't think I woulda shared that." But we're oh so glad you did!

Nandiewe said...

Oh My! Now that is way beyond tacky, and funny too! In the words of Sweet Brown 'aint nobody got time for that!' 

Kenyatte Winston said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!  (Gasping for air)  I'll come back and comment once I get myself together...

motown skater said...

OH -MY-GOD!!!! i'm speechless!!! i can't even get her behavior to compute in my brain. who does that?!!!!

motown_skater said...

my eyes popped out my head!

Cara Mia said...

Wow. I am glad you went back to dinner. At least it showed that you didn't condone that behavior and wouldn't tolerate it in a dating atmosphere.

ladymack said...

This story was hilarious. There were clues, but they were ignored. Really, who takes a purse AND tote bag to a dinner? Glad you handled that situation and got rid of Ms. HoodRachet.

Nicole McLean said...

Awww.......dang homie. You handled that correctly. I would have been so mortified that I'm not sure I would have been able to speak. Wow... 

but I do thank you for the best chuckle this morning. 

K. Marie said...

*grabs inhaler* I can't! I just can't! Now, I thought I'd seen everything--I have a dear friend who used to always carry hot sauce and a fork in her purse--but a whole meal? I'm sorry, but this made me feel so much better about my bad dating moments. They pale in comparison to this! 

blackprofessor said...

That story is hilarious!  I thought I had some bad dates, but maybe I have gotten off easier than I thought.

Natasha said...

All I have to say to this is WOW.  I have so much that I would like to say about this but it might not be right.  How do you bring a full plate of food to a business dinner where first impressions MEAN A LOT?  WDDDA?  

quinne said...

What in sam hell... I am soo glad to see a story from a guys perspective. Too often people think its just women that end up with the dates from hell... this took the cake.

I gotta know, how attractive was she? I ask because there are some women who assume that since they look like xyz their behavior is excusable. Nah chick you can look like beyonce but if you act like katt stacks its a wrap. Yes there are some dudes that will put up with that mix because she a "dime" or got a phatty but my sanity outweighs all visuals.

Yeah you should have asked her what was in the bag when she got into the car. And then for her to try to call  you out, thats crazy.

Ricki W. said...

I'm still reading, but I had to comment on Houston's/Hillstone (what they call the NYC outlets now)...they used to have one of the best grilled catfish fish sandwiches ever.  EVER!!!  They don't serve them up here anymore.  I think they're breaded and deep fried now.  Boo!!!

Bryan Anthony said...

I heard this story the night it happened but (sorry Trey) it's so much better here.
Aw man, this just means someone extraordinary is out there for you. No man should suffer like this in vain.
With the exception of double checking that tote bag - you did everything right.

Jubi The Great said...

1 - I haven't been to Houston's since I left Atlanta, I miss that place
2 - I can't believe old girl hid her ratchet for a few months
3 - who brings their own food to a dinner? If she was really worried abt the food that was going to be served, she should have declined the invite.

*hugs for Trey* I see its hard out here for the fellas too

Londa said...

I've been having a pretty bad last couple of days but this story gave me a genuine chuckle - along with quite a few gasps of disbelief. Wow; just wow.

Kudos to you for going back to the dinner. That was admirable and shows what you're made of.

Always, always, always question when you see people with more bags than are necessary. (A tip for future situations.)

Ricki W. said...

"You kinda buppified anyway."

Oh.  Well, we want tell her what she totally is.

I have never brought a date to a corporate function, but I have invited friends and we've had some great times.  I'm not entirely sure why I've had an aversion to bringing men I'm dating to company events.  I suspect some of it has to do with questions about my dating life that might come up in casual convo with my coworkers (folks at my company are pretty nosy, but not in a bad gossipy way.  They actually do like to get to know people) and I've always been a fairly private person.  My mother doesn't even know much about my dating life.
 

Leon X said...

Two words: Double Facepalm

ClayJones said...

Trey, my man. You have got to learn to spot a Rib Shack chick pretending to be Houston's. When she cut a fool in Houston's that was your red flag that she may not be fit for "upscale" company.

thinklikeRiley said...

Ey @AnotherWord43 - Real talk doe, homey -
You take her out of your #binderfullofwomen or she still in the leather Trapper Keeper?
riley out.

Grace said...

iQuit you, Riley!

EvolvingElle said...

So, if you're "buppified" what does that make her? 

I'm also trying to figure out in my mind what made her think it was ok to take her own meal to a corporate function?  WDDDA???  Lastly, Trey, I hold you partially responsible.  For you to admit that your comments on BnB can be borderline rachet and homegirl thought your comments meant you all suited each other should have been a dead giveaway this may not be the woman for you.  What was Chele's post a few weeks ago about ignoring the signs??? #IJS

Angelle said...

This has got to be a joke...right?!

Grace said...

Oh Trey.
*smothers a laugh*
We're so sorry.
*tries not to giggle*
That's just awful.
*runs from room*

Monsta Don said...

As a recent divorcee facing the dating game again for the first time in...12 years...this just made everything I've been going thru more tolerable...LMAO  at this story. Bravo for how you dealt with it. Thanks for the chuckle.

100.

Chunkygurl80 said...

Oh.My.Gawd. I. Can't. Breathe.

I wouldn't believe this story... except that this kind of craziness happens to me too, so all I can do is die of laughter and commiserate. You poor thing. OMG. OMG. Just. O.M.G.

The Life and Times.. said...

I"m sitting in my office trying not to Holler!!! This is hilarious... Sorry it had to happen to you, but I'm grateful for this laugh!!! 

aisha1908 said...

Random off topic questions that have been running through my mind...

How does someone who works 18 hour days 5 days a week (or 13 hour days 7 days a week) find restaurants open late enough to take anyone out?? How could you ignore the fact that she smelled like ribs and brisket when she got in the car??? That aside, this dinner experience at the boss' house sounds surreal. I'm sure at least one of those restaurants you two dined at was White-owned. She didn't have a problem eating "white folkz food" then? what a character. The way she was attracted to your commentary on this blog is unconventional, but I don't think that could've really tipped you off that she was off skelter. My husband and I met on twitter, so I guess anything can happen. This story should encourage everyone to have the new person they're dating tested by their friends before bringing them to work functions.

William Martin said...

Were the ribs at least from Houston's because you know... that's almost understandable.
I'm joking. She's awful. #NextPlease

Shondriette said...

This sounds like an episode of a Tyler Perry show. I refuse to believe a grown woman, in real life, acted like this in 2012. REFUSE!!

Newbie said...

I'm a lurker and usually don't commennt but having gone through a string of bad dates, I had to say something. I'm not even 40 yet but  I swear someone is playing practical jokes on me based on some of the dates I've been on.  But your story took the cake.. I'm sorry on behalf of all women.  THAT is why I don't invite non-boyfriends to  my corporate functions. Don't give up on dating or the use of social media to meet otheres. We just haven't met the right one yet.

MeetCharlieL said...

What offends me the most? The tote bag o' ribs? The "white folk food" line? Or the asking for hot sauce?
Too. Much. Ratchet.

MeetCharlieL said...

My first thought was - she must be drop dead gorgeous.

Chunkygurl80 said...

Also a divorcee with a marriage that long and let me tell ya, times have changed... all I can say is, it's about to get reeeeeeal interesting for you! Every day I'm like "wait, no, this CAN'T be how it is these days?!?" SMDH. Good luck out here! LOL

Sol_dier said...

O_O I'm watching my tongue as you she is a poster here.  
You don't trust the food?, eat before the event and spend the dinner pushing food around on your plate. #etiquette101

Ms thing, if you ever chime in pls tell us why you did this. Was it just a game? a setup? did u want to see ur name in #bougielights ?

Javalicious said...

I forgot he said she reads this. Do people aspire to be in the BnB Hall of Shame?

Duchess K said...

*bwahahahahahahahahahaha* This is HILARIOUS! I'm sorry for your pain and embarrassment. I think there were some other signs along the way but I know how little things can be over looked at times. She knew what she was doing was dead wrong on all levels. I feel like Iylana Vanzant needs to fix her manners.  

Miz JJ said...

Kudos to you for going back to face the music at your senior VPs house. You'll find a good one soon. One who'll at least bring a plate for you too.

Diana said...

Aiieeeeee!! Good to know there is equal opportunity foolishness in these here dating streets! We have arrived, y'all! In my Katt Williams voice, "I'ont know if I would have shared that." But we're oh so glad you did!

derek love said...

*note to self* Always check the tote bag.

Jasmine Girl said...

I'm not going to lie, I thought she was going to pull something kinky out of the bag at the wrong damn time so I'm halfway glad it wa a bbq plate. But really? Ugh!

Penni Brown said...

I can NOT believe that happened! I'm surprised that you took a woman with whom you have an undefined relationship to a work function. That is awfully optimistic and I like you for that. 

...but I think there are some openings in the Side Eye 101 class that you should consider taking. It sounds like you need a refresher on when to give a side eye and when to justifiably react to a side eye worthy scenario. 

OwenCinDallas said...

I'm trying to think of what you could have done to predict that she would go Shaqueeha in front of your co-workers.  I honestly wish she would respond and tell us what she hoped to accomplish by this? Was it a test to see how "down" you were? How much you would put up with? I have to assume she was/is beautiful. Only the very attractive pull these types of tricks expecting to be forgiven. And wait, I'm trying to get past the fact that she wanted to go back for the rib plate. And now I'm picturing the catering staff in the kitchen killing the brisket and laughing.
Sorry man.

Superwoman said...

hahhahhahhahahhahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahah!!!!! that's all i have to say about that, really!! and - yes, it is a VERY good thing you went back, so the other guests and your hosts could laugh WITH and not AT you!! tjo! this woman's outta control!!! 

Marioned said...

Wow!!!  Double Wow!!!
But you know I think you missed it.  On a date if a woman takes the lead(not ask the man) and goes up to the hostess.  THAT's a FLAG.  The comment about white people. , true or untrue:THAT's a FLAG. The extra bag.  THAT's a FLAG

People when you see flags no matter how small or large: DO NOT dismiss them, rather address them .  You can do it in a subtle way. By doing so they will lead you where you need to go and learn what you you need to know SOONER.

Marioned said...

She probably was a looker and that is why he didn't inquire when he should have. 

Cherie Jones said...

I've heard from many men that's tough out here for them too, but I guess this is proof positive!

Mr. Skyywalker said...

When I was single I had a rule, until you get the "girlfriend" designation - you don't need to meet everybody. Anybody really.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

That is so messed up. Hilarious, but messed up. 

I have never had a date act out at a corporate function. Simply because I do not bring dates to corporate functions until I've vetted them with a small group of peers. there is NO way I'm going to let a Y-chromosome mess up my livelihood. No way.

M Dot said...

I want to hug Trey like Marcus Graham did Gerard at Thanksgiving dinner in Boomerang.

1 - I'm not mad you tried to take her to a work function.  Like you said, you all had been meeting up for months as she showed no more warning signs.  And yes, it does suck when you're the only one w/o a date.  However, the Houston's maitre'd thing was an issue; better for her to mention it to you first and let you handle it.

2- I'm wondering how you couldn't smell the BBQ in the car (mental note..if she brings a big bag to a dinner function always ask what's in the bag). 

3- you got major points from the SVPs by going back and laughing it out. I can guarantee it would've been worse once she got hold of some wine.

Side note: WHEN did she have time to hit Big Momma's BBQ Shack before the date? Who does that?

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I'm sorry - who brings their own food to a dinner? I was expecting that Tupperware container to be there to bring home leftovers (which would still be questionable), but.......you know what? I need to get started on some work. Later!

M Dot said...

at least you tried to cover it up LOL

M Dot said...

now we have to do patdowns on dates

bashowell said...

O_O
I...just...nawl.  WHO?!  Yeah I was expecting the Tupperware to be in the bag, too - not another meal.  At least you had the presence of mind to get her out of there.  I don't know that I would have been thinking that straight.

bashowell said...

Riley.  LMAO!

DFig said...

I don't comment much, but you have my respect for going BACK!  
I mean, I know you had to otherwise it would have looked worse.  But I'm not sure I could have done it.  damn.  She is a professional hazard.  Hard to believe there were no red flags (well except for that Houston moment).  I mean, really.  Who goes from that to PULLING OUT THEIR OWN MEAL AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE!  I don't think there are flags for that.  

Natasha said...

 Props to the Boomerang reference... He also deserves a Synclare woo woo woo as well.

kizzmm said...

Random off topic questions that have been running through my mind...
How does someone who works 18 hour days 5 days a week (or 13 hour days 7 days a week) find restaurants open late enough to take anyone out?? How could you ignore the fact that she smelled like ribs and brisket when she got in the car??? That aside, this dinner experience at the boss' house sounds surreal. I'm sure at least one of those restaurants you two dined at was White-owned. She didn't have a problem eating "white folkz food" then? what a character. The way she was attracted to your commentary on this blog is unconventional, but I don't think that could've really tipped you off that she was off skelter. My husband and I met on twitter, so I guess anything can happen. This story should encourage everyone to have the new person they're dating tested by their friends before bringing them to work functions.

Reecie said...

definitely the white folks line for me. that is what made it over the top, IMO.

how dreadful. you handled it well though, Trey! 

The Bunni said...

Bwahahahaha!  Sorry....that's so unbeliveably ratchet...  That's what you get being all "buppified"...  LOL!!

Lady4Real said...

OMG, LMAO, ROTFLMAO, GTFOH, This can't be real. Wow!! I mean my daddy is borderline Black Panther and I would NEVER say things like that or do things like that. Ignorance is S.N.o.B. Poor Trey, wow. I can't stop laughing to type a coherent comment, so I'm done. WOW

Lady4Real said...

How could you ignore the fact that she smelled like ribs and brisket when she got in the car???<<< TRUE

GrownAzzMan said...

"Girlie reaches under the table, pulls out a Styrofoam container from her tote and plops it over her china plate. It's barbecue ribs and brisket. She pulls out her purse and gets a roll and a small container of potato salad. She then turns to one of the waiters and asks for... wait for it... hot sauce. You know the saying about hearing a pin drop? Well we heard the flea sitting on top of the pin say, "Welp" as the pin dropped."

That moment right there is when I died. 
CTFU! 
If the paramedics are able to revive me I will read the rest and return with further comment.

Swagatha Christie said...

There are going to be so many stop-and-frisks before important dinners after this anecdote. 

On a serious note, that first confrontation at a restaurant about the seating arrangements should have put you on alert, though (which is Monday morning quarterbacking, but still).

Lady4Real said...

I was expecting her to be ratchet and take food home, I wasn't ready for her to bring her own meal, DAMN.

invectiva said...

If she found Trey on BnB, what exactly was she expecting? And what has
she read on BnB that made her think her behavior was acceptable? SNB.

Swagatha Christie said...

Right?! And she knew it was a dinner related to his job. Even the most ratchet of basic folk would catch a whiff of sense. 

GrownAzzMan said...

But did't he smell eau de barbque whens he got in the car though?

GrownAzzMan said...

#binderfullofwomen has upgraded. It's an ipad now

Lady4Real said...

Only the very attractive pull these types of tricks expecting to be forgiven<<< I object, I have been told that I am very attractive and I don't think I can get away with ratchet behaivor, however I tend to have "blonde moments" and rely on my attractiveness to get me out of those moments. Oh well, being cute has it privleges but ratchet shouldn't be one of them.

Cha Keziah said...

But... she reached out to you because of your comments on a site called BLACK N BOUGIE. where you are, admittedly and obviously, acquaintances (if not friends) with the blog host. Did she not expect you to be "buppified?" wait... why am I trying to make sense of this?

Mess. Hot mess. But points to you for going back, and you certainly moved up in the company impressions for how you handled that. Also, maybe now the CFO will stop bothering you - he sees what you have to go through. But, um... don't let this completely rule out the social media connections. There are *actual* bougie women floating in and around TX who you may not meet but for the Facebook/Twitter/BnB connection. Or, you know, Chele may hook you up. *ducks purple heel*

GrownAzzMan said...

Multiple flags. You are right. I have to assume that her looks we so dazzling that the replay official decided there was inconclusive evidence.

Lady4Real said...

If she would have pulled out a plate for him I would have died at my desk, just the image has me needing a defibulator

Lady4Real said...

X  X
___

I'm dead off of this. Please send Stargazer Lillies to my funeral and tell my loved ones that Riley killed me.

AminataB said...

Wait. Hold on.

:composes self: :clutches pearls:

Is this real life? Does this ACTUALLY happen to people?! Your story literally had me on the edge of my seat! You get a HUGE hug and pat on the back for having the courage to return to the dinner party after Tamra displayed that type of coontastic behavior. Bless your heart.

One of my favorite lines from your story... "I just closed my eyes and prayed for instant teleportation to a galaxy far, far away". LOL!

Trey Charles said...

1) I hate each of you. Individually and collectively
2) Yes, I smelled the eau de bbq. I didn't ask why she smelled of a cookout. I should have. Clearly.
3) Yes she's extremely attractive
4) Yes I'm initiating a stop-n-frisk
5) see #1

OneChele said...

Aw T-Ceazy - don't be like dat! We luvs you! Hey, it could have been worse. She could have pulled out the bbq AND wrapped "Straight Outta Plano"...

Swagatha Christie said...

You mention that you don't get to go out much; but most women don't walk out of the house smelling hickory smoked, bruh... :-p

J B said...

 "Would you like a rib, baby?  They hot". 

Page Bartlett said...

I forgot he had the aspiring rapper date too!

Page Bartlett said...

I forgot he had the aspiring rapper date too!

J B said...

 Same here.  "I had a late lunch, I don't want this to go to waste."

CaliGirlED said...

If this girl has stripper uniform and tools in this bag, I am done with all of you! *goes back to finish reading*

nylse said...

i wonder if she read this post? my husband said - 'is this for real?"  love these stories and so glad i'm not in this boat.

CaliGirlED said...

 *hollers*

CaliGirlED said...

Or ate before she went!!! Hell my aunts (who don't like anything they didn't cook) would never do that! *whispers* Now they might ask if you have some gravy in the kitchen (YES one did that at a birthday dinner, cause the chicken was dry), but they will not bring their own food!

CaliGirlED said...

 THIS^^^!!! And who da hell is she??? Must be a lirker! Chele I swear it's time to start calling names on shiggity! LOL

Jubi The Great said...

Why you hate us? We here for you!

CaliGirlED said...

I wasn't going to say anything, but since you went there... You men are going to learn to stop being chose! LOL!!! (I'm sure there are some exceptions to this, sans the stories, but generally speaking, no!)

kizzmm said...

I just tried to imagine "eau de bbq" and I believe I can't make it through my lunch. gags. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

I agree Reecie! How do you say this out loud at a table full of white poeple??? That's just rude and insensitive! And she knew this man worked with these people AND was at the Sr VP's house! Didn't give two fuckeths of a damn! No home training, not nan!

CaliGirlED said...

Jots down some new terms, "BougieLights" and "BnB Hall of Shame"!

CaliGirlED said...

 *dies*

MyDatinghangovers said...

If I didn't believe your site was authentic, I would have thought this was a comedians idea of a good joke.

She KILLED it with the styrofoam, just killed it.

I feel bad for the bachelor because silly him, thinking an unconventional way of meeting a woman "might" be a good thing.

I'm just wondering like for real son- you had no other clues or warning signs that you had been dating Sheneneh?? Her comments about white folks, her demeanor if the service was a little slow, how she responded if the movie concession added too much butter, her tone if you arrived at 5:05 instead of 5:00? Something.

She's a hot ass mess period. I hope you've deleted her triflant ass and moved on.

Natasha said...

 NOT NAN... She was not going to let him be great on that night....

CaliGirlED said...

 *flatlines*

SingLikeSassy said...

 Trey. Son. You gotta stop leading with your little head. Seriously. You ARE too old for this ish.

CaliGirlED said...

Aw play cousin! Come on now, you know if this was someone else's story you would be crying tears of laughter! Woo woo woo, woo woo woo.

But in reference to Chele's comment below, it may be time to evaluate the type of women you are attracting. IJS

Lady4Real said...

I got revived from Riley and now you kill me, dangit cuz. Send Stargazer Lillers please and explain to my Daddy that this was your doing.

Lady4Real said...

"Naw boo but scoop a brova up some of dat dere tater salad."

Lady4Real said...

I think I just saw the app for this, lol

SingLikeSassy said...

I keep visualizing her licking barbecue sauce off each finger individually and smacking her lips.

I dunno, all these dating stories just make me not want to be bothered. 

Ondrea Richardson said...

I don't know what to say to this? Is this a real story? Did this really happen? I need this to be a joke.

The Bunni said...

 Awww don't be mad....*still wiping my eyes*  Bwahahahahah!!! iCant!

bashowell said...

*spits out juice* Aw lawd I forgot about that.  Ha!

Chree Carr said...

I died at this moment too!  All I can imagine is a group of white people with forks mid-air staring at this girl pulling out rib plates and rolls.  It's like a scene from one of those straight-to-DVD black movies. 

bashowell said...

Right! I mean the title says it all so...

bashowell said...

But does anybody else want some ribs now? Just me?  #hungry

tiffanyinhouston said...

 You get a zillion cool points for that NAME.

jemie gblah said...

OMG!!! I want to ask is this true, but knowing you guys it probably is... I am literally LOL!

tiffanyinhouston said...

So, Trey..are you going to start listening to Chele and the rest of with good sense now???? #HardHeadSoftAss

Mykeia said...

See, I was wondering the same thing...

Mykeia said...

I just purchased some for dinner...

Domirican Mu said...

This is my first time ever commenting here but OMG.  I am so embarrassed for you!!!  iCannot!

EvolvingElle said...

We say these things because we care...and we all like a good chuckle. :)  Seriously though, you SMELLED the BBQ??? Now see there, what did I say about signs???

taut_7 said...

what. in. the. hell? 

man this story is hilarious. i only think it is hilarious because it didn't happen to me. i also think its hilarious because she found out about you because of this site and she's probably reading this post. you did the right thing. i don't know if i could have gone back to that dinner party tho.

OneChele said...

Welcome out of Lurkerville.

@OneChele
www.blacknbougie.com
Sent from my Kindle Fire

invectiva said...

Killin' me!!! Forgot that was Trey. Daaaaaaang.

blackprofessor said...

 Me too! Since I have read this story, I have wanted some ribs, lol!!

Karen J said...

 
Did you say "coontastic?!"

Jubi The Great said...

I'll be so tickled if the chick from this story ISN"T a lurker...you know how some folks front of the Internets & just their so not bougie behavior out IRL.

Karen J said...

Exactly! Straight to DVD black movie.

Leon X said...

Great. Now I can't get that image out of my head. Thanks a lot Sass.

AminataB said...

 LOL! Yes! It's a "word" I use to describe behavior that surpasses buffonery!

Earthangel172 said...

Hi-damn-larious!

#ThatIsAll

Earthangel172 said...

 ::DEAD::

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

 O_O

LAWD! Chele, I read this whilst on a conference call and drinking a carbonated beverage, and I nearly choked all in my headset.

happinessisme said...

I think I just learned what the true definition of rachet is. What.the.hell?

Angel on a Quest said...

Well, damn.  I have no words for that kind of ridiculous behavior.  If she felt that way about "white people's food," then she should not have accepted the invitation.  She showed blatant disrespect for you, Trey, as well as for those around her.  It was catered, right?  What the hairy heck did she think was going to happen to her?

Now, tell the truth, who set Trey up for this nonsense in an effort to have more Bougie Bachelor tales, because this cannot really be life.   And she's seen posts here in BougieLand and thought her behavior was appropriate?  No.  I need whoever is hiding in the bushes to jump out and yell, "Punk'd!!"

Mickmicki said...

Were the ribs from an "upscale place" or did she roll down to the cut and get a platter from a place where the menu is painted on plywood?  Was it a short end platter?  Out of all of that foolishness, iCackled at "a small container of potato salad."  Potato salad is very serious business.

Lesson - You can't take everybody everywhere.  Good thing that his co-workers have a sense of humor.  Also, you better be lucky that you were the only people of color there.  My black co-workers are not immune from my hots.  At the dinner I would have said all types of, "#corporate voice on#  That is so unfortunate...*pearl clutching*  Did you see her pull out that rib platter?  #corporate voice off#"  However on Monday morning, there would have been a picture of a styrofoam container in Trey's email account.

rozb said...

I do hope that since she may read BnB that she comes to the site and recognizes herself in all her ratched-assed glory.

blackprofessor said...

 However on Monday morning, there would have been a picture of a styrofoam container in Trey's email account - I died at this!! Lord, help me!

GrownAzzMan said...

"two fuckeths of a damn"

Do we have a new standard of measure here. Two fuckeths?

ASmith said...

Nawl bruh.  Nawl.  This is just... this is incredible and not in that good way.

Where you find these types of womenz at?!

GrownAzzMan said...

I was almost revived but I we back into full arrest at the mention of 'Straight Outta Plano'.

mojitochica said...

What in the fresh hell?!?!?!?!? 

mojitochica said...

This was my second thought.

keishabrown said...

this is why we can't have nice things. 
no damn couth. 

keishabrown said...

CTFU!!!

keishabrown said...

*daps for the NFL reference. 

OneChele said...

When one is too few and three is too many?

@OneChele
www.blacknbougie.com
Sent from my Kindle Fire

keishabrown said...

annnnnnnd im #deadandgone

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Nice to see you over here! :D

CaliGirlED said...

 LOL!!! I got that from SlimJackson and have (will) never forgotten it!

Brownbelle said...

1. Noooooooooooooo! ROFLMAO. Can you say party foul? If you think the food is going to be THAT suspect you're supposed to eat beforehand. Or bring a granola bar you can eat during a faux bathroom break, not a whole gotdern picnic!

2. Once the duffel bag showed up I knew it was going to end badly. I *thought* she would bust out the tupperware to take a plate home but it was so much worse!

3. Um, sir. Did you not smell the ribs and brisket wafting from her bag? #imjustsayin

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Someone needs to animate that pin! Laaaawd! *dies again*

Blogoratti said...

How embarrassing, I mean who takes food to a dinner invite -you did the right thing truly, even tried by driving her all the way back home. Most people would have just shown her the door -good luck to her walking home. Your co-workers definitely had the good sense of laughing it all off. I imagine them telling that joke over and over again, to as many people as possible. Hilarious in a way no doubt.  
My take: From the restaurant stuff she pulled, I kinda had the feeling that as your story progressed, she'd do something even more ridiculous. Oh well, we live and learn. Smh. 

Reptile214 said...

I understandyou not questioning the tote bag when you picked her up...if all goes she spends the night its an overnight bag. But why didn't you question her when she brought the bag inside for the dinner party?

GMoney said...

OK...was she THAT fouine, and was the nookie THAT good? I know she sent off signs before this...

GMoney said...

Look, I'll lay money right now that says she felt she did NOTHING wrong, and that Trey was just a "siddity" bougie Oreo who wasn't feeling her. 

Next time Trey, keep it real...LMAO

GMoney said...

It's Dallas, I'm sure that's a scent!

GMoney said...

Usually Ratchet women attract rachet men, but every now and then...blonde moments spread out can be occasionally cute. GhettoFab is not fab - at all.

GMoney said...

"How much for a rib? I sho' is honrgy!"

GridSki said...

That's Hilarious!

She said...

There is a certain type of personality that is anything BUT great relationship material, and this woman obviously belonged to this group. They are the type that will always put THEIR comfort/convenience above any ONE or any THING! No matter the situation, you can count on them to look out for self above everything else (ie: bringing her own food so as not to be uncomfortable/inconvenienced by eating 'white people food'.... at the expense of her date's reputation/career. Note-to-self: this type of person is to be avoided at ALL costs. .....Unless you enjoy the non-stop drama & embarassment.

JojoRaze said...

I comment maybe three times per year on this blog, but this post was too much to not comment.  I've heard the snippets of this story in the comments of other blog posts, but was not prepared for this posting...At.All.  I literally read paragraphs 8 through 11 will my mouth agape at the ratchetry and rudeness that this woman displayed at a dinner at your employer's home. 

Like others, I think you overlooked a few signs.  Since I'm nosy, I would have definitely asked why she was carrying a big ole tote to a dinner...But that's just me.  Still, I am completely flummoxed by this story.  Tamra needs to do better.

Sol_dier said...

who is Tamra?

La said...

I am quite, quite late commenting but you know what really did me in? Imaginging the sound that china makes when you dump something on it. Like, that... clink? Imagining the sound of her dumping her food on the china in a silent room. LMAO Poor boo. I'm so glad I'm not the only 1 who has dates like this.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 The woman who gave him grief, and us a great laugh. He mentioned her by name once (or twice) in the story.

Sol_dier said...

Thanks! the ratchetness of the details just made details like names disappear.
I feel sorry for dude. I would be cringing forever!

Oscruickshank said...

OMG is all I can say.

Singlelif said...

Lawd...now you know why a woman so "fine" is still available to date.  My country grandmother had a saying "dress'em up and feed'em just don't take'm nowhere".  But ole girl, took her mealplan with her..but why she had to take ribs ?? Did she ask for a "to go" plate when you rolled her up outta there ? She sounds like a walking stereotype.

aishao1122 said...

ahhh man the one morning i don't read BNB before going to work and this happens.. poor Trey there are just no words no words, i got a little nervous about the bag at dinner, but ummm who does a whole plate, why not just eat before hand then move the salad around your plate if you don't trust the food??  And you trying to spin it and she just keeps shoveling more sh*t for you to move. I just can't ... I;m surpised you didn't just slow down & make her tuck & roll out the car, just too funny... feel better Trey, it gets a hell of a lot better 

rikyrah said...

this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time

EbonyLolita said...

This is HILARIOUS!!! I would have told her that the party was postponed once you realized it was at the bosses home though. Public events are one thing, but someone's home is a different bag a fish. *YesI'mWestIndian*

Kara | A Creative Reality said...

ROFL What on earth?! Yes, I agree that you had to go back to the dinner to save face.  All I can say is wow.

sweetpea said...

That is absolutely unbelievable. I'm absolutely shocked . . . seriously. I must admit, it was rather entertaining!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 And now I'm hungry for fried sprats. Thanks. =D

JojoRaze said...

The only good thing that came from this story is the fact that your co-workers will never ask when you are going to get married ever again!

EbonyLolita said...

With some festival!! Lawdddd shoutout to 217th & White Plains Rd!!

GMoney said...

Oh wow...you are within 3 miles of where I live! Can I spot you big the big purse and BBQ?

EbonyLolita said...

Spot you big the big purse & BBQ? Rephrase I got a lil lost in translation....

GMoney said...

Ooops. Some days,  I hate autocorrect. :)

I meant, will I be able to spot you by the big purse with the BBQ inside? :)

April Saxton said...

*DEAD*

The Tall One said...

I've never read anything so crazy in my life. Brother, never bring anyone who doesn't have the title of fiancée or wife to any professional setting ever again. Ok? Good. Pulling you in for a friendly hug as I roll my eyes thinking "there but for the grace of God go I".

Iyanla Fix My Sprite said...

My mouth is literally wide the phuck open.

EbonyLolita said...

BigPurse with plantains & Milo *BigLaugh*

Anonymous said...

#dead
So Ashton Kutcher never showed up?!

CorettaJG said...

Whoa.

CorettaJG said...

I thought it was her overnight bag?

Ja'Nae Ariel said...

There are just no words for this. WHO DOES THAT?! No couth,  no home training, no common sense, nothing. Dude, I am SO sorry that happened to you!! You handled it well. 

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