Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Love It or Leave It Alone... a minor rant


There's a lot going on this week. The DNC kicks off, the NFL kicks off, the last set of schools open and get these kids back in the classroom and it's September. But before I go any further, let me take a pause for the cause and address a thing or two.

After the Shawn Shebacle (shiggity + debacle), I received three kinds of feedback. The first was a combination of stunned outrage and incredulity. "What was he thinking?" Okay. That was to be expected. The second was flat out disbelief. "This can't be real, stop making things up." We'll come back to that one. And the third and most surprising to me was accusatory. Apparently, there are some who felt that this was some Machiavellian plot of mine. For what you may wonder? (As did I) There's a school of thought that I slept with Shawn and made up the ratchet visit encounter to cover it up to save face.

Let's address that one as I received no less than 14 emails, 2 texts and a phone call about it. First of all, not that I'm required to share every (any) thing with the readership but seriously, after all the crap I've admitted to on here, wouldn't I just say - Ooo, ya'll - I did a bad thing and admit it? Second, if I was going to just wild out and sleep with anyone other than David in the crew, it would have been Jay (sorry Joy, just saying. On fine points alone?) or Owen (sorry Jayme, he's got that Denzel thing going) but then I wouldn't be typing this because I'd be so very dead. Shawn never crossed my mind.

But having been in the situ previously where I guy I was dating tried to date a friend of mine (please see PsychoMike story for reference)... Really? That's me? Lure some dude over, stir cocoa and then tell his friends and my ex (via blogpost) that he hit on me to cover it up? Ooookay.

I don't expect that you all know me like know me, know me. But c'mon now. If you're bold enough to write me a long-assed accusatory letter calling me a skank, at least do your research first. Please and thank you.

Next up, the fiction of it all. It's true. I do write fiction. For money. Pay attention. When I write fiction it's because someone is paying me to do so. No one pays me for this blog. It's a labor of love (most days). Period. The reason I don't also write for multiple publications, websites, newszines, etc - I only have so much to give. I'm not one of those folks whose creativity comes effortlessly. It's a struggle. I share this to say, I ain't be got (yeah, I said it) the energy to write fiction, play nice with fools at work AND make up entertaining diversions for this blog. 

Finally, let me say you are all welcome to your opinions of course. You are even welcome to share them with me. But at the end of the day if you don't like/doubt/disagree with something you read... we can discuss it respectfully as grown folks should do. If not? There are multiple exits from Bougieland. Love it or leave it alone.

Happy Tuesday...

64 comments:

Miz JJ said...

So people took time out of their lives to text you/e-mail &  call you names and a liar? Wow. I thought I missed blogging, but may not.

Michele said...

O_o  You shouldn't even have to address that bull. 

ShaiUnfiltered said...

I wish I could be handed all the time other people waste on stupid shiitake like emailing and accusing you of faking blog posts. I could make so much better use of their time than they can...

thinklikeRiley said...

And dis ish right here?! 
Dis iz how Bougie Folkz say F**K YOU politely.
*drops a fiddy in the collection plate*

iExemplifyCOOL said...

The truth of our lives is often better (more interesting) than fiction anyhow. People should stop judging and have several seats.

P.S. RIP Michael Clarke Duncan

P.S.S. I'm excited about the DNC and FLOTUS's speech!!

Think P. Smart said...

 I was pleasantly surprised by the responses.  I didn't see anyone blame you and elude to you having done anything to lead that loser on.  But that might speak to the basic level of good sense I think most of your audience (at least those that leave comments) have.

Emanon VonWess said...

WOW! What a Waste of Gods tme!

TrulyPC said...

I guess audacity can only be expressed when cloaked in an email.  Why didn't those brave spineless souls make those accusations in the comments section for all to see?  

Leon X said...

I'm mad you had to even write this post. Punching out, Maverick.

MeetCharlieL said...

Listen, do you. Those of us who get you, get you. Plus you used "Machiavellian" in a blog post. 
Epic.

Emanon VonWess said...

I was saying time and Smh some people !! I-phone cut off my message uggg! Lol

Emanon VonWess said...

I was saying time and Smh some people !! I-phone cut off my message uggg! Lol

Ricki W. said...

There are too many people in this world, for whatever sad reason, who automatically assume that others are always up to some nefarious mess.  This is the only reason I can see people sending you emails accusing you of setting up that clown, let us not even bring up the few stories shared about Shawn that would lead a normal person to believe that dude is a sociopath.  

Jubi The Great said...

Seriously, the folks who called/emailed/texted you claiming that you aren't telling the full truth need to have a stadium of seats. The gall of some folks....

JoyGrooves said...

So people who don't know you or anything about you decide to write you and tell you about you?
Nice.
I would side-eye about that Jay comment. But he is fine. Just don't tell him I said it.

Javalicious said...

What I don't get about people like that - what do they gain?
Waste of time.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

*slow blinks*

Wow y'all. I don't even have words for this. I wish more ppl would kindly STFU and keep their mindless conjecture to themselves.

MariSol said...

S.M.D.H.
That is all.

LikeLena said...

What she said. x2 and +1

EvolvingElle said...

I don't know you personally, but if I thought the whole Shawn debacle was untrue, I wouldn't say so.  I'd just get my laugh on, say "Chele is so creative", and keep it moving...

And not to mention, if you had slept with him, I would like to think you wouldn't have mentioned anything to Bougieland.

SingLikeSassy said...

People called and texted you saying that? So that means they are people you KNOW WELL ENOUGH TO HAVE GIVEN THEM YOUR PHONE NUMBER? Hm. OK then.

ShawnSoze said...

Well now I feel bad. If you had slept with me, I would have told everybody. 

JaymeC said...

1) Ma'am.
2) People need lives
3) I see Shawn is still keeping it classy.

Monica said...

 "There's a school of thought that I slept with Shawn and made up the ratchet visit encounter to cover it up to save face. " Well that school needs to be shut down. 

Like Sweet Brown said, "Ain't nobody got time for that." People who are regulars of BnB should know you don't need to resort to trickery.

nylse said...

wow, that's crazy! 

OneChele said...

I swear I blocked him. Twice. 

Jubi The Great said...

Shawn, you're an ass. Why are you still here?

David Chase said...

I got you. Apologies. Again.

Nandiewe said...

Wow! It blows my mind how gutsy people become when hiding behind their keyboards!  

David Chase said...

 I got you.

iExemplifyCOOL said...

Did Shawn just....WOW.

iExemplifyCOOL said...

NOW he feels bad? He didnt feel bad initially but NOW he does?

keishabrown said...

O_O
but i mean... if someone texted you, that means they have your number and know you a lil better than those in the e-streets. 
and this is their theory???? 
i..
comfy mats on the floor cuz they dont EVEN deserve seats. 

keishabrown said...

EXACTLY. 

keishabrown said...

lolllllllll!!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

*blink* Even when it's not the woman's fault, it's the woman's fault. >_< To be honest, it sounds like they're projecting. #justsayin'

Think P. Smart said...

Exactly! All that goes wrong is somehow traced back to us. Never mind the character of the other player is this show.

blackprofessor said...

I need to have a seat because: 

1) This post is extra!
2) Shawn is still hanging around Bougieland despite his unwelcome overtures.
3) Some folks just don't get it.
4) Repeat #3.   

Marioned said...

Girl I am stll in a state of shock over Shawn.  My mouth is still wide open that is why all I  can say is:
 F**k the accusing and disbelieving folks!!
But in about 20 years you need to do an autobiography, it would be a great read!!!!

JoycelynC said...

I cannot understand how people who read this blog with any sense of regularity would believe you made that up.  Folks who just happened to catch it that day, maybe because they don't know anything about the past.  This is completely crazy that you have to even address this in this manner.  After being thoroughly embarrassed as well as on the losing end of a few punches, I can't for the life of me understand why Shawn would be back up in here but I guess to some people, any attention is good attention.  I hope his boys take note of his behavior, if they haven't already.     

Superwoman said...

Good God, man!!  Have you no shame???? WALK AWAY. You've already shamed yourself beyond belief - GO AWAY!!   *shakes head in disbelief*  

mojitochica said...

They don't deserve comfy mats either!

invectiva said...

I have only been reading this blog for a little less than two years, and didn't comment for a long time. However, it is crystal clear to me from your written history that although you often *report* ratchet, you never *behave* ratchet. Readers who can't see that are either being wilfully blind, projecting, or just trying to throw petrol on the drama fire for their own damfool entertainment.

PatriciaW said...

Do you, Chele.  It has never occurred to me that you made up anything you've blogged about here.  Because truth really is stranger than fiction, and if one has ever watched any reality TV show, he or she would know that whatever is believed to be too much of a stretch is exactly what will take place after the commercial or in the next episode.

C Nelson said...

There are some people who have swallowed so much of the victim-blaming misogynistic claptrap all around us that even if it happened right in front of them they would believe you had done something behind the scenes to bring it on yourself, or made it up whole cloth. Because (let's go down the BINGO card) you know what guys are like, how can you blame him; it's the woman who ought to know better and you obviously gave off SOME signal he took the wrong way; how are you going to ruin all his friendships over something you probably instigated; everybody knows (some day I will meet "everybody" -- he has a lot of punches to the nose coming!) that stories like this are what women make up when they regret what they did the night before. And really what they mean by all of that is: a woman is never a credible witness to her own experience as far as they're concerned. Write them off and be glad you didn't really need their shoulders in the wake of more serious trauma; they wouldn't have stood by you no matter what you did or said.

keishabrown said...

good point!

Mo said...

Wait, someone called , emailed  and texted to say what? SMH...

Think P. Smart said...

"a woman is never a credible witness to her own experience as far as they're concerned."
It's sad and it's true. And don't let people deem the woman unattractive. Then she has to deal with people not believing her for the reasons you listed AND dealing with undertones of 'you aren't even cute enough to attract any attention let alone unwanted attention'.

Whitney said...

You know since you did explain, this would be the only explanation.  You know what happened and so does Shawn.  Now he  feels bad, and to make that stupid *ss remark?   JoycelynC is right, people will say/do anything for attention.  

Sol_dier said...

you don't get it?. This is a joke to him, this is how much he really valued his relationships with his crew.
In his immature head, he reckons he is being a charming rogue.

This boy is deluded and possibly psychotic. We all know he has absolutely no respect for women, how could he?, he can't even display any respect for himself.

So Not Bougie.
The girl doesn't want him, but he still can't let go. 

Sol_dier said...

Don't forget the most oft used one....
Well, he is only doing it 'cos some other woman allowed it

When will we learn 
1) people do what they do because they can. There are Men out there who try things not because there is a precedent but 'just because'!.
2) Everybody lies... Men Lie!. They will tell you Tasha allowed X, just to see what they can get away with.

So can we please bury this.. he did it, cos some girl before me let him, nonsense...

Sol_dier said...

People are crazy, but I'm not surprised.
Let people see a sliver into your world and they would make claims on your soul.

They don't need to know anything about your history to realise dude was out of line, but some folk don't want to do that. They can't recognise danger until its on their heads and they would rather sit in a corner and see it played out, with your life as center stage.

Swine! the lot of them.

Angel on a Quest said...

See? I can't. Thank you for clarifying, Chele, but just know that none of those thoughts crossed the minds of those who have spent a good deal of time here in the Land o' Bouge.  You don't owe us anything, but I'm grateful that you share what you do.  I feel like part of a community, here, and that makes my trek through this thing called Life much more fun.

rozb said...

Chele - not once did it cross my mind at all you consented to ratchet reindeer games with Shady Shawn. I enjoy this blog mainly because you have shown class and superior Bougieness. My kinda blog. All others who even thought to get so personal and and yet get it so wrong? Go kick rocks with flip flops on. Really big-assed rocks. And go get some class...lay your buffoonery down.

rozb said...

 Shawn - this is CREEPY! After what happened - swollen face and everything, you still think this ish is funny. I mean - are you for real? Are you as big an asshat as you are showing, or are we being punked? C'mon man! Go some damn where! DANG!

AnthonyJ1167 said...

Did I miss something?

Brenda Kay said...

As much as I enjoy social media and various blogs - these same avenues of communication have given rise to an inordinate number of relationship, political, constitutional, historical, religious and financial experts, conspiracy theory nuts, psychics, exhibitionists (who make even porn stars blush), nosey a** folks who think they know everything, freaks and creeps. 

Michele, I would strongly advise you to take out a restraining order against Shawn, as his actions are crossing over into stalker territory. 

Anonymous said...

I had to go back and read the post. I can't believe people contacted you about that and then accused you of lying. A hot mess! Keep doing what choo do boo.

aishao1122 said...

WHY!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE????

Sol_dier said...

Amen. 

EvolvingElle said...

To me, it appears that Shawn likes attention- good, bad, or otherwise.  And with all the hoopla, we're giving him what he wants.  But honestly, grown men really act like this???

CaliGirlED said...

I take a day off and DAMN!!!

Folks are BEGGIN for Chele to start exposing shiggity! B.E.G.G.I.N. @OneChele:disqus sometimes you gotta give the people what they want. (Can't think right now the song that has that line in it, but in his voice. LOL)

4butafly said...

Wow, folks actually thought you made that story up?  LOL, funny.

Cassandra said...

Please.  People are just baiting you and being obnoxious behind the keyboard (as people frequently do when anonymous) just to upset you.  Anyone reading this blog for half a minute (like me) would know better. 

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