Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The (Sometimes) Inappropriate Behavior of (Some) Men


Now ya'll know I love the fellas. Love, love, love them. Even when their Y chromosome cause their brains to stutter and fizzle on and off like a drowned firecracker on the 5th of July, I still have love for the fellas. You can always count on a man to bring in a perspective that perhaps women have not thought of in that exact same way. Good, bad or ugly. But you can also always count on men to get together and cook something up that women would never in a million years do. Bless their hearts.

Let me start with backstory for those who are regulars. I was dating a guy named David. He has about 5 or 6 close friends (all of them from UGa - Shawn, Trey, Bryan, Wes and Jay) that he still hangs out with. We dated for about 18 months, recently split for a variety of reasons and now you're all caught up. I've written this post four times now. The first time, it sounded like a scene from one of my books. The second time, it was just angry. The third was too much commentary. This one is what it was:

I was at the new Bouge Mahal late last night chilling. When you go back to living alone after years of roommateiness, you appreciate the beauty of chill time. I can sit on the sofa in shorts that are three sizes too big, a sports bra of indeterminate color and a ripped Cowboys t-shirt older than any of us care to think about. I can wash my hair and let it air dry because I don't have to be anywhere special the next day. Who cared if my hair was a wavy poufy mane of fail? I can sit there with only one dim lamp on sipping one of my homemade wine cocktails and doing absolutely nothing else. It was a heavenly moment.

The heavenly moment was rudely interrupted by frantic knocking at the front door. This was startling since as far as I knew, only about four people in the world have my new address and only one of them (BougieYoungerBro) would show up at this time of night. And he would call/text first. With a sigh, I got up and looked through the peephole. It was Shawn. 

Really Shawn? Because again, no one has my address and if they do - it's not an apartment you stumble across and lastly, who comes by without calling at 11:00pm on a Monday night? Assuming some sort of tragedy has befallen one of the Georgia Boyz crew, I opened the door. Shawn, who is never without words, stood there silently looking at me.

"What is it, Shawn? Is everyone okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everyone's real good. You look well."

No. I did not. But whatever. "How'd you get my address?"

"I have an ex who works at AT&T, she pulled up your U-verse bill." Security FAIL, AT&T. Security FAIL!!

I stepped to the side and invited him in. He took one cautious step inside the door, "Are you alone?"

"You would know if you'd called first. I'm alone. What is going on?"

He walked around (cased the joint) before coming back into the living room. "I like it."

"Awesome. I live for your approval. You have five minutes to explain this visit and then you can bounce." Understand my confusion: Shawn and I are friends but not drop-by-each-other's-house-after-dark-without-calling-first friends. 

He sat down on the couch next to me. "Listen, don't get mad..."

Don't people know that when they start a conversation like that, it automatically makes you mad? I heaved a sigh, "Oooo-kay."

"David and I talked."

"Something you do regularly."

"Woman, can a brother get his words together?"

Biting my tongue, I motioned for him to carry on.

"David and I talked and you should be with somebody."

I blinked slowly. "I see." I didn't see. Not at all.

"You should be with someone good. You know a real dude. Not some random that you have to start over from scratch and figure everything out with. Someone who will be good to you. Let's you be you but brings himself to the table too. Know what I'm saying?"

I nodded with mounting irritation, "You and David for some reason were talking about my next man? You think I need to be with someone real. Someone you two endorse? Approve of? That can't be what you're saying."

"David wants the best for you and if it can't be him than it should be someone of that caliber."

Uh. Huh. "And you just happen to know someone perfect and oh, by the way, David is cool with me seeing them? Who might this be?"

He shrugged and smiled, "Uh. Me."

I kid you not, I fell off the sofa. "You?! Are you kidding me? Mr. 'She Ain't Giving Up the Booty Fast Enough'? Mr. 'She Should Recognize She's Lucky to Be With Me'? Mr. 'My Way or The Highway'? What?!! Of the ten things I would change about David, you have 9 of those traits ratcheted up to the nth power." I stood up and went ballistic, "And what the hell am I? A plate of cookies to be passed around? Are you all smoking crack at poker night now? Who came up with this idea and are you seriously here saying this right now? To me?"

"So... you're just mad right now but you'll think about it or the whole concept of you and me is a no go?"

"Wait a minute? David signed off on this? Really?"

"Okay, here's what happened..."

"Please explain."

"We were talking about the not dating each other's exes rule and Jay said it was a shame because between us there were some quality exes on the shelf."

"ON THE SHELF?!" Yes, I shrieked.

"Uh - he didn't mean it like that. Anyway. So then we started discussing whose exes the others of us wouldn't mind dating and your name came up. David said if he had to see you with someone else, it might as well be one of us."

Wow. Magnanimous. Did he think that was a compliment? Cuz it wasn't - isn't. I was actually insulted as all hell that they sat around discussing my dateability like it was up for auction. Well hell, maybe it was. "Did ya'll draw straws, roll dice, Rock/Paper/Scissors to see who got next? Were bids involved? How close did I come to have Trey at the door instead of you?"

Finally, Shawn started to realize that his visit was not well-received and he was in danger of getting a satin-slippered foot raised near his hindparts. "I swear it wasn't like that. We spoke about you with the highest respect. And you know I have no problems finding women of my own to date but I think you and I could be interesting together. I brought up the topic and launched the conversation because this is my interest. Mine and I didn't want to be sneaky or creepy about it." He took two steps forward and I took three back. "Will you just think about it? It makes perfect sense. We have great chemistry. We have similar backgrounds, goals, future plans. We like a lot of the same things. We're both easy on the eyes. I already know you're an outstanding girlfriend. Who knows what this could be? At the very least, we'll have some fun together."

Sweet Jesus deliver me from male thinking. Dude has no problem getting women so I should be honored he was over here round midnight hollering? And that my EX was okay with it? And while I may be an outstanding girlfriend, Shawn has never shown himself to be that stellar a boyfriend. At the very least, we'd have SOME FUN together?! Anyway why was I even running through the pro/cons in my mind. I like Shawn but not like that. And I don't keep fishing in the same small pond after throwing one back. Nope. I answered, "Yeah, no. Thanks for coming by. Tell everyone I said hey."

Shawn nodded, "Think on it. Seriously. I'll call you tomorrow. You owe it to yourself and to me to give it some consideration. And when you blog about it, be sure to mention that everyone has your best interests at heart." I may have slammed the door before his left foot was completely outside. 

BougieLand - am I crazy to be super ticked off? I can't be the only one to think this is messy, messy, messy and did I say messy? Fellas, would you EVER do this? Ladies, what would you say to Shawn and to David? Shawn and David - Really DUDES? Thoughts, comments, explanations?

434 comments:

1 – 200 of 434   Newer›   Newest»
Juicy J Can't said...

no words.. just WOW!!!

MsJamie14 said...

*blank stare*

*blood pressure rises*

*mouth opens...no sound escapes*

*Will have to comment later* 

MsJamie14 said...

Was he drunk...? Had some sort of traumatic head injury...?

Is this a joke...?

Jubi The Great said...

Just when I think the BougieLand men have it all together...one of yall goes all the way left *sigh*

SHAWN HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GOT DAMN MIND???? How do you have the gall to holla at your boy's ex just a few months (has it been a few months?) after the breakup? And Chele isn't just an ex, David wanted to marry her!

I've dated a friend's ex before, but 1) they dated YEARS before I dated him and 2) they were nowhere near marriage. Both of those things SHOULD make Chele COMPLETELY & TOTALLY OFF-LIMITS to anyone in the Georgia Boys Crew. Seriously, if this is how yall think, I'm side eying the hell out of all 6 of you supposedly "grown" men.

And David, I can't believe you'd be ok with this?!?!?! You went from wanting to marry Chele to passing her to your boy? I call shenanigans.

DO BETTER, BOTH OF YALL

mizjj said...

No country for tacky men.

thinklikeRiley said...

Wayment. Shawn IS Kayser Soze - did this stealthy-assed ninja just maneuver round ev'body to make a run at the Queen? And how long has he been plotting this? I'd bet David did not cosign. I'll just bet he did not!

da Hell?!

Reads4Pleasure said...

*looking at the whole UGa crew sharing one brain over there* Theo, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

thinklikeRiley said...

Dis iz some old boolshyt. To answer your question - NO, I would not do this. Not saying I wouldn't holla at a friend's ex but I'd give it a minute and not come at her sideways. Damn, son!

Leon X said...

If anyone is looking for me I'll be the guy in the corner with his face in his palm.

Jason P said...

But he wanted to have this discussion at your place. At 11 at night? Because he's so respectful.
Naw son.

Nandiewe said...

Oh my! I think Shawn was VERY, read EXTREMELY, high from inhaling from a HUGE bong! He really seems to have an inflated sense of self-worth, believes his own hype and doesn't seem to have any boundaries and NO, you are not crazy to be super ticked off! What the entire foxtrot is this kind of behavior??? SMDH! 

MsJamie14 said...

Showing up unannounced and uninvited at 11 pm huh? That was the brilliant plan?

Cuz you know, asking her to at least meet you for coffee during a decent hour would have been silly.... :-/

motown_skater said...

WOW! i am speechless! mouth wide open speechless :-()... this takes messy to a whole nother level....

Cyn said...

I'm speechless and quite disappointed in some dudes I don't even know.

bashowell said...

*tries to get it together enough to stop laughing and type*
Ninja, WHAT?! 
Just...nawl.  NAWL!  No no no no no no NO!
WHO in their right mind would...
Imma just...sit over here w/my coffee and read comments, because...

Mykeia said...

Oh my damn.
Wowzers.
Very messy.
I am speechless, I will be reading the comments today with popcorn and licorice.

SouthernWes said...

In defense of all the Ga Boys (minus Shawn)- this is NOT how it went down and there was NO cosign by David or anyone else for Shawn to do what he did. AT ALL. I apologize on behalf of all of us for this bit of arrogance/ignorance. Please know that you are held in the highest regard with the utmost esteem. 

King Jordan said...

 "Fellas, would you EVER do this?"

in the way "Shawn" did it? no. sounds like Hollywood from Love Jones.

i think this convo comes up more than you'd realise. i only think it's not bad...if a significant amount of time has passed, and both exes have dated others and moved on from each other. but yeah, that, and the whole coming-at-night-unannounced part...

us males are truly interestin' creatures.

MsJamie14 said...

 Wes, I was really holding out hope that you were the voice of reason!

Cocoa Winston said...

NO!
Cuz wait. What?
No. He. Didn't.
The intent was early and the execution was sloppy.

Jubi The Great said...

Oh and whoever at AT&T looked at Chele's address for Shawn, she needs to be fired. SERIOUS breach of privacy.

Cocoa Winston said...

BTW - Love the parentheses in the title.

FreeBlackMan said...

I have no problem trying to date one of my friend's ex-girlfriends after a decent interval has passed, after she showed interest and after he and I talked it over. My first approach would be a phone call. Not a stalkerish show up at the door round midnight bullshit approach.

I'm curious @ShawnSoze:twitter did you really think that would work?! With Chele?!

Jubi The Great said...

So Wes, how did the convo go down?

MsJamie14 said...

 Like really! Some broad is gonna assist a dude in stalking another woman? Really girl??? #SisterhoodFAIL

Ms_Toni said...

*Sets up a tent, sips from a bottle of water and waits for Shawn to comment*

This is the complete opposite of what a woman dreams of, BTW. "I was talking about you with your ex and here I am, listing a few reasons why we should give it a try and bypass the work of me trying to get your attention. Cuz it makes sense. And if it doesn't, dah well." O__O

David Chase said...

I'll handle this offline but for the official record - No. David did not approve, okay, head nod or in any way say it was  alright for anyone to approach. speak to, or holla at Michele. Ever. 

Jubi The Great said...

Like what if Shawn came over with a knife instead of the worst attempt at trying to holla ever? In what world is it ok to give out someone else's personal info like that? UGH I hate that broad & ion even know her.

MsJamie14 said...

Actions like this should get one abjured from the wolf pack (True Blood reference). He needs to be sent to that island wherever that StevenO dude went. LOL

I really liked Shawn... :-(

JaymeC said...

You better not have!
What in the entire holy hell?!

Jeannette said...

Two words.  Just Tacky.

Court said...

WOW..You have had some pretty interesting adventures, but damn! I'm speechless.
Short term thought..be annoyed for a second, and then keep it moving. smdh.
wow.

JaymeC said...

OH and Shawn needs his ass kicked.

Angela said...

Shawn, have you ever met Chele? Cuz from the sound of the conversation, it doesn't seem like you realized who you were talking to. Perhaps you confused her with the girl from ATT.  

BICTH& in that order said...

Dear Craig's of the world,

Why you always gotta lie??!! Please have a seat expeditiously and never get up.

Thanks in advance,

The Ladies

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

That is so offensive.  But hilarious.  I mean dang it, you are super intelligent, your work in HR, and your write for a living.  You know and understand people - how they think, how they are, alladat.  Did he think that you would not be able to see through that thinly veiled attempt?  Or that you would go for it? For why? Shawn, sir, you aren't even worth reading.

Here's my $0.02.  David didn't cosign that mess in that form.  And if he did... O_o   I am glad you tried to get the door to hit him [Shawn] where the Lord split him. Trifling mug.

On another note, if you would be so kind, Ms. Michele, please pass me a cup of that hoodoo you do so well, so I too may have a train of eligible, but wrongity wrong wrong wrong IBM following me along.  *snickers as I let myself out of Bougieland*

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

 You and me both. Especially because the broad probably did it thinking she would get back in Shawn's good graces. No.No.NO.A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!!

His thirst and her thirst.. just *shakes head as I walk away*

@yo_q_crush said...

This is so OUT OF POCKET... dude was wrong for the stalker move then to pull this... i dont know what kind of friendship circle they have but this would never ride with my boys. Any female you exhibited some type of emotion over (got mad/sad/overly happy) for is OFF limits and God forbid it be a case where you were considering marriage, by that point there could be a brother/sister bond depending on the level of interaction within the circle...

I would have nightmares imagining my boy smash my new girl so that would kill any intimacy

NY2VA said...

David, I only e-know you and Shawn from Bougie Tales and such, but none of that sounded like David logic. I called bull-shiggidy on that from the get-go.  

Adriana said...

 This can't be real. This can't be life.
Get some praying oil, Crisco, oil sheen, or whatever you have at your house and rebuke those spirits.

blackprofessor said...

So Shawn came on a booty call disguised as a holler attempt and thought it would fly? Shawn needs to stop thinking with his little head and get a clue in his big head.

I think the most offensive aspect of this story is the notion that Chele would be down with Shawn's overtures!  I don't know Chele from Eve but even I can discern from reading this blog that she isn't that type of woman. 

blackprofessor said...

That is really good to know.

Michele said...

Props for the True Blood reference!

tishatweets said...

How many different colors of awful is this? Mercy.

Shawn must have valued the chance (however slight and however fictional) of getting with you more than he did his friendship with David. Because surely....

Or maybe that's just my womanly thinking....because surely that woman would be cut off. With the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Lastly, y'all, leave people's exes alone! There are billions of other people in the world! Find (or get found) by one of them.

But I'm chillin'. 

Think P. Smart said...

Uh does Shawn have a history of totally sketchy inappropriate behavior?  I ask because I find it hard to believe  this is the first time he has stepped out of pocket.

GrownAzzMan said...

I don't even know where to start. This was laugh out loud funny in a sad and wildly inappropriate sort of way. To answer your question No Way In Hell. I.Just.Can't.

Oh yeah, the fellas need to drive out to JerryWorld and have an entire section of seats.

Michele said...

O_o
What in the hell?
Chele - No you are not crazy for being super ticked off.  What would I say to Shawn and David?  There are no words.  This is beyond messy.

ShaiUnfiltered said...

Shawn in the immortal words of my MuDear ---> "Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you." 

I have had this happen to me (when the friend show up to holla after the relationship ended). 

1. It isn't nearly as flattering as the man thinks. 

2. It is uber creepy. (What fantasies have you been having about Chele while she was with David?)

3. Men look for the path of least resistance, in Shawn's mind David has tilled the field and he just needs to come along and plant the seed...

4. I almost wish this had been a post on magical sperm-repelling uteri. 

Pserendipity said...

So I suppose the happy ending was supposed to be you realizing he was the one you loved after all and then the two of you leaping into your bed? 

Ew.

tishatweets said...

Oh he wanted some coffee alright. Just the kinda that comes without coffee. You know, cocoa. And he wanted to see if someone was already there stirring it. Smh. 

Troy said...

*reads post, scans comments*
Let's break this ish down. Shawn is sitting around with his boys decides he's going to float the topic of exes out there. He gets shut down but since he floated it, now he can say he misunderstood.
Then he rolls over to Chele spot (by some nefarious ass heffa who broke laws for his ass) late on a Monday hoping she's lonely, drunk and disillusioned enough to give him a shot. Right there we know he don't really know who he dealing wit.
The plan was to to get it in and get her hooked on what he must think is some magic d**k before she can come to her senses and realize he ain't bout shit.
I hate ain't bout shit n*ggas. 
Shawn failed. Michele won. And so do we because we get to read this and laugh our asses off at Shawn.
Bad news for David, he lost again. 
This is the most I've ever commented but this one hit a nerve. 

NY2VA said...

You know how when your friends have some bull$hit that they need you to co-sign but they know you won't just outright co-sign it because you have good sense, so they ask you a bunch of questions so that they can IMPLY that you co-signed said bull$hit?  That's what I see here.  There is no way in hell that anyone can convince me that David Chase said, "Son, you know what you should do? Use your AT&T connect to do some Secret Squirrel $hit and get Chele's unlisted address, go by there unannounced at an ungodly hour, and let her know that you're interested in her and that I approve."  Hell, there's no way that you can tell me that he even simply said, "Shawn, I would not mind if you dated Chele."  What I do believe is that there was a conversation, some questions asked and some answers given from which Bro. Shawn was able to piece together some co-signage on a technicality. 
 Remember the day David came up in here and shut $hit down because The Other George (I think that was his name) showed up in Bougie Land trying to e-holler?  Dude showed up in BOUGIELAND, not onChelle's doorstep, and Bro. David was NOT pleased.   I know good and hell well he ain't co-signing one of his best friends dating his woman.  I've been married for 13 years, all my husband's boys are married or involved and so are my male friends.  I can't think of ONE who would go for this non-sense.  FOHWTBS.  

Jubi The Great said...

Well that pretty much sums it up...

CaliGirlED said...

No words right now!!! Not any good ones!!!

MsJamie14 said...

In my version...I hear Shawn saying to David something to the effect of "I did this for you bro." Like cuz even if Chele didn't bite, she was supposed to call David or wake up and realize how utterly wack the dating scene is out there and realize that David is The One.

Or something.

And hey, if she went with it...it's gravy. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

 Fired? Perhaps. But a good ass whoopin would be on her agenda at the surprise meeting she did not know she was coming! O_o

digal704 said...

Dude is just ..... Color you lucky. Not. The fact that he came so late means he was trying to get his courage up. Did you at least smell alcohol on his breath?

mika1102 said...

Ok I will come out of Lurkville for this
Chele remember that dating service you are going to start? Well I have the perfect girl for Shawn. Ol Girl who rolled up here a while back with the ijs comment about you treating David right. Yep they would be a perfect match for each other

CaliGirlED said...

"And then I exhaled."...Okay.

invectiva said...

Imma need Shawn to have a seat. #wddda

CaliGirlED said...

 From the Doc's mouth to the universe!

blackprofessor said...

 Right there we know he don't really know who he dealing wit. - Cosign!

I hate ain't bout shit n*ggas.  - You and me both!

CaliGirlED said...

 I would agree! But I will add that this is the ultimate level of sketchy KNOWING and not caring that it would be put to blog! Still trying to find some words for this shit!!!

CaliGirlED said...

"I almost wish this had been a post on magical sperm-repelling uteri."....I definitely do!!! Because in a few minutes I am going to have to pray and restart my day!

beks said...

oh my lord that was entertaining to read. and...what was he (not)thinking? 11pm?! who does that? just a fail on so many levels...maybe this works on the type of women he is used to dating and he just doesn't know any better (I'm hoping because i refuse to believe he thought this would work...)

Jubi The Great said...

He KNEW she was gonna blog abt this & yet in his mind this WHOLE stalkerish sketchy thing is totally fine. What did think BnB was gonna do - cosign his foolishness & tell Chele she was missing out?

CaliGirlED said...

 Yeah Troy you held your tongue for such a moment as this and summed it up pretty damn well!!!

MsJamie14 said...

*Drops $5 in the collection plate*

CaliGirlED said...

Thanks for that Wes. So what now?

blackprofessor said...

I agree that this probably isn't the first time he has stepped out of line.  In all fairness, it has probably worked so far because he has continued to act inappropriately and assumed it would work this time. 

Duchess K said...

Now I understand the tweet last night and I was right to say put some people out literally and figuratively. You are well within your right to be irritated and ticked at this entire scenario. What is wrong with him? *Deep breaths* Shawn, what made you think that your stalker behavior would be taken as flattery? This aint a Disney movie. Really? If you had to gather intel thru illegal means that should have been a sign to stop doing what you were doing. Just a mess. You are entirely too old for this.
I'm quite sure that Shawn just thru David under the bus for something he didn't even do. This is why I dont answer my door after 8:00 for people that haven't given notice of their visit.

keishabrown said...

this. cannot. be. real. life.
like. AT ALL. 
*goes to find my happy place*

MrsT said...

Co-signage on a technicality--so stealing this.

keishabrown said...

sorry. i had to read it again..
someone at AT&T needs to be fired. cuz... WHAT THE HELL????
if you were serious, and know Chele..then this could have been a convo you respectfully requested to have during daylight hours instead of using immoral/illegal methods and showing up at her house at night. 
no. non. nyet. (and so on and so on)

JoycelynC said...

 that was where I was looking side-eyed at the monitor.  I just can't see that ever happening

keishabrown said...

welps. 

WB formerly known as Stank_0 said...

One of two things happened. 1. This got lost in translation from his head to his mouth. What he meant to say isn't what came out.  I see the content but it gets lost in the communication. 2. This was a hypothetical conversation that he decided to make reality. It probably piqued his curiosity so he threw a Hail Mary. All she can say is no. If he gets e-roasted....and?

JoycelynC said...

I'm glad I read the comments first before commenting because I couldn't believe this was co-signed or even remotely supported by the same group of men who tried to talk you all into staying together in the first place.

First of all, using Macgyver skills to get an unlisted address when I am sure you have a cell phone number is so over the top and stalkerish (for lack of a better word).  And then you show up with no phone call in the dead of night?  You are lucky Chele is a Southern Belle because it would not have ended that well at a lot of doors.  Shawn, I hope you really felt this was worth damaging friendships as well as making you look certifiably crazy because I really can't see how you can come back from this.  I just shake my head and add you to the prayer list.  

keishabrown said...

this is why me and NY2VA are >><<

GuessImJay said...

WHAT THE HELL??
*logs off and starts making phone calls*

Londa said...

All of my thoughts on this are peppered with cuss words and I have a standing bet with my sons that I can go without cussing for 24 hours. Replace all the "tame" words in the following sentences with the swear words of your choosing....

What kind of fraggle-naggle bull is this? Who the flippity-flip does this kind of bojangles? Krispy Kreme Donuts!!! . This is some motherflappin bull. And the AT&T rep needs his/her doggone behind whipped; freak being flattered that he hunted down her address to personally tell her about her "top shelf" status. I thought about the proposition and then thought about it some more. It still ain't a welcome thought. 

Chele, were you being punk'd? That's the only way this illogical shizzle would make some sorta sense. Other wise, girl, Moe, Larry and Curly their bare asprins (@$$) by lining them all in row and simultaneously pimp slapping them.

Ain't nothing right about this.

Duchess K said...

that is exactly what he has done. Compromised his relationship with everyone. I'm sure the other fellas are thinking if he is willing to do this to David what stops him from doing it to them. I'm still shocked he had the nerve. He is crazy that is the only explanation for this.

MeetCharlieL said...

Dude just blew up twenty year friendships for a shot (a weak assed shot) at a chance with you? Chele, damn. 

superwoman said...

Hahahahaha - you know he has your whole crew looking uber-dodgy with his behavior, right?  good job you stepped in to clarify!! Shawn is defs the shady of the group, he needs to be kicked out! Swiftly!! 

superwoman said...

Your life, our entertainment... Chele - WHERE do you find these men???? i swear, the chronicles of your life make me feel better about myself, i thought i was the original freak-magnet!!  WHO ARE THESE MEN????? crikey!! 

TypeALady said...

Just when you think you have seen and heard it all, leave it to ol' Evel Knievel to pull some bullshiggity like this.  Shawn, you honestly have more problems than a Calculus textbook.  How could you have thought on any day that ends in 'Y' that 1) Chele would go for a serving of your tawdriness and that 2) you wouldn't destroy or permamently alter your friendship (and I use that term loosely) with David??!  I mean really dude...have some respect, grow a pair and STEP YOUR GAME UP!

Londa said...

Ok, I read the comments and will amend my pimp slapping advice. All of 'em but Shawn are excused from the beat down.

What the fashion fair were you thinking, man??????

MsJamie14 said...

He clearly thought with his other head. Men. LOL

CaliGirlED said...



Shawn you are officially among the ratchetassed ranks of Vince,
(Le Dude Formerly Known As New) Derrick’s best friend. Yeah the one who slept
with Derrick’s (SEW) shady ex-wife. (I tried to find the story but in my haste
(read anger) I can’t seem to. The only difference between you and Vince is that
SEW was a low down dirty hoe and Chele is not! And to lie about David’s
approval??? What kind of man are you? You need help Shawn, STAT!


 


I am so disgusted by this!!!
 

JoyGrooves said...

Am I the only one who wants to see an official transcribed copy of this "Exes" conversation? Which means I want to hear about it from Bryan or Wes. Like now. 

On the real, this actually doesn't surprise me about Shawn. Not one bit. But I'm wondering if he'll man up and comment. Though what besides he took some meds and was temporarily insane could be a good excuse for this?

*taps foot and crosses arms* I'll wait.

Natasha said...

That's what I thought when I first read it and then read both David and Wes comments....

What the What Shawn!!!!  

William Martin said...

I'm not going to defend Shawn but he's usually not this out of pocket. 
I cannot fathom that he thought coming by your house and offering you whatever he offered late at night was a good way to go. 
I'm glad I read that David didn't okay this. Didn't sound like DLC at all. I guess I'm saying I'm not mad Shawn tried. I'm mad at how (when and where) he did it. 

SingLikeSassy said...

Dear David: As Tyra said to ratchet model chick, "I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you. How dare you! You go to bed at night, you lay there, you take responsibility for yourself!"

Dear Shawn: As Bill Duke says in Menace To Society, "You know you done f****d up, don't you? You know it, don't you? You know you done f****d up."


 

Reecie said...

" I can't be the only one to think this is messy, messy, messy and did I say messy?"
nope, you aren't. 

and you might have to start charging to read your blog. these antics are more dramatic than your novels (which are very good btw, I see where you get the inspiration) 

supreme side eye to ALLLLLLL of this goings on. 

Jubi The Great said...

I asked Wes but he aint come back yet. But I'm dying to hear how the convo really went.

CaliGirlED said...

 Doc!!! You're not mad at Shawn, he's usually not this out of pocket???....Ok must be the male logic that I was not made to understand because I don't get this!

CaliGirlED said...

  "You know you done f****d up, don't you? You know it, don't you? You know you done f****d up."...THIS!!!

tishatweets said...

I actually think he'd be more of a man if he didn't comment.

William Martin said...

Maybe so. He's not generally this unthinking. I guess I thought that if he called up in a year or so and asked her out for coffee it wouldn't be as out of bounds as whatever he did last night. 

Javalicious said...

Chele - has anybody checked on you? How are you doing? As you always say - do we need bail money?

TrulyPC said...

(Bougie Hat Off)  Aww HEYALL  NAW!  David and Shawn deserve karate chops to the throat for that bulshiggity.  Boooo ninjas BOOOO!  I just... I... can't believe this. This scenario does sound like a novel.  FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

MsJamie14 said...

Joy...deploy your pillow talk powers and then report back! LOL

I kid.

MsJamie14 said...

Ah hell NAW. Cuz he shole had something to say about everything ELSE in here. LOL

Shawn...show yourself! LOL

OneChele said...

Ha! No bail needed. I'm okay. Now when I thought David cosigned these shenanigans? I was about to go Angela Basset/Waiting To Exhale-flame thrower on certain folks. But this? Let's chalk it up to one man's misguided notions, hope I'm not the cause of lifelong friendships falling apart and keep it pushing. Thanks for asking!

SingLikeSassy said...

You told her that David agreed to this thinking that would make her feel more inclined to hook up with you? You think that little of Michelle? Wow. You need to get your life right man. 

TrulyPC said...

Whew. I should have read the comments first.  So apologies to David.  No karate chop for him.

tishatweets said...

IMO, his commenting in this forum would be further contributing to the sheer and utter messiness of this situation. Besides, who cares what a couple dozen people he'll never meet think of him? If he's interested in salvaging a friendship and/or redeeming himself with Chele his time would be better spent in private conversation with either or both of them.

But I understand that doesn't make for good blog fodder. LOL

Jubi The Great said...

You wouldn't be the cause - folks overstepping the friendship boundaries would be the cause if that friendship goes down in flames.

thinklikeRiley said...

This part of the problem right here. Ya too damn nice. Who give a shit if they fall apart because one (or more, I don't kno) is an asshole? Dat ain't on you, ma. Dat ain't on you.

tishatweets said...

It wouldn't be your fault if they were no longer friends. That would be due to poor boundaries on Shawn's part.

MsJamie14 said...

Boo! LOL.

Naw, I feel ya. Clearly this sitchy-ation is messy enough as is!

CaliGirlED said...

Sassy it amazes me how people (mostly guys) don't realize the kind of disrespect that comes with sorry ass come on's like this! That was such an insult to Chele as a woman and a total disregard (insult) to his friendship with David.

A part of me wishes that Chele is just trying out her creative skills but the other part of me knows she wouldn't rile up our nerves like this! SMDH

MsJamie14 said...

Mother Teresa ain't got nothing on you. Shawn would still be pull my nail polish paint chips from the crack of his hindparts. LOL

tishatweets said...

....a year or so later in an effort to get with a woman his BOY for umpteen years proposed to? I get that not everyone is as.....strict (for lack of a better term) as I am when it comes to not dating the ex of a friend under any circumstance, but even for those of you who allow it, I can't believe you wouldn't draw the line at the ex fiancĂ©e of a friend, no matter how much time has elapsed.

Cold game in these dating streets.

Wendyquell1014 said...

Epic Fail, Maybe Daivd was testing his friendship, { that is a Violation that should  NEVER occur}. it took a lot of guts for him to come at you with this bullshiggedy. Shawn have a seat and blame it on being, intoxicated  or medication. 

blackprofessor said...

When Shawn came to your house last night, he wasn't thinking about his friendship or fraternity bond with David.  I have dated a few Alphas (and Ques) and I have never seen any this ratchet, smh!!

Ricki W. said...

 " And while I may be an outstanding girlfriend, Shawn has never shown himself to be that stellar a boyfriend."

Yet he feels like he deserves someone among the best of the bunch in all of his lackluster glory.

Chree Carr said...

The steps Shawn went through to find Michele did not derive from feelings that happened overnight.  It sounds as if he's been interested in her for a while. 

Having feelings for someone off limits is something that can happen from time to time (disregarding minors of course), but he chose to act on those feelings, and that's a major problem.  He was willing to lose a deep (or so we thought) friendship for a woman he knew wouldn't be interested.    Yeah, these feelings have been around for a while.  Just...wow!

SingLikeSassy said...

Shawn shitted on his own friendships. Was he drunk? I'm trying to get my head around this, cause it's just...no.

SingLikeSassy said...

I keep coming back here thinking this is a joke, but, no.

Here's the thing, I don't know any of these people IRL, but after a couple of years of posting and laughing and learning from folks you kinda think (hope?) that the posters here are good people. It's been great hearing from the guys on relationship issues and stuff. 

Then today, this. 

I think my feelings are hurt. Shawn, you hurt my feelings. 

JoycelynC said...

 That's what I was thinking because according to this blog, there is a tight hanging crew amongst the Dallas readers.  Now he will be persona non grata.  As they say, its lonely at the top...of bullshit

CaliGirlED said...

Nawl I just don't see it Doc! But I'm going to let your friendship with Shawn stand with no judgement. Everyone needs a good friend and it sounds like you're trying to be one...*whispers* Watch yo back kay?

Mo said...

Wow...it is only 1.08 pm and 115 comments. I saw your  tweets around 2.00 am (team insomnia) and I'm not psychic, I swear upon my mother's grave my thoughts( I thought it had to do with one  the GA guys trying to date you or find you a dude) have been confirmed by this  post.

Shawn and Dave this is wrong on so many levels even if the intent was good. Like Chele said,  you guys made it seems like she can be passed around and that is disrespectful.

CaliGirlED said...

 Shitted you hear me!!!

CaliGirlED said...

 ALL the while! There are several feelings for which we should not act on. With maturity comes knowing which is which.

Diana said...

Exactly!  I told my home girl this was a 'premeditated holler'...

invectiva said...

Nah. Shawn is on course. Out of *line*, but definitely flying true, according to previous shenanigans seen right here on this blog. I don't think he's a bad dude, necessarily, he just gets stoopit sometimes. This wasn't any different in degree than his previous examples foolishness, except for involving Chele directly. Which NEVER should have happened. (What in the holy...) But... see previous regarding: stoopit.

Later, after his bruises heal, and once he's grown, he's gonna go, "WHAT WAS I THINKING BACK THEN?!?"

CaliGirlED said...

Let me copy and paste this into my own comment please! Sassy my ears are still burning, which for me is a clear sign that I am upset/hurt/totally blown away. SMDH still!

yourgirlC said...

I suspect that Shawn is very lucky that you didn't call David right then and there to confirm.  Something tells me you might have two Georgia boys standing in your living room and it would not be pretty.  David always struck me as a little territorial (in a good way) so I can't believe this is anything he'd approve.  Maybe a chick he went out with a couple of times but not someone where he shared something deep for a long time.  

Shawn, if you need to find new friends now, there's a dude named Steve in NOLA who might be sympathetic/empathetic toward you.

Whitney said...

I'm pretty new to BougieLand, you should have told Shawn, tell your ex her days at AT&T are over....that fool can get fired for that, I've witnessed it.  WTH, who does ratchet mess like that?  I guess David & Shawn...

CaliGirlED said...

 Ha! Thanks for my first chuckle about this situation! (Steve in NOLA)

tishatweets said...

Amen, amen, and amen.

We are, sometimes, a society of grown-ups who, overall, don't want to assume any responsibility for our actions. We also want what we want when we want it and morals/values/what's right/other people's feelings be damned (in the classical, not cursing sense of the term). And I am, most ashamedly, including myself in this number in the not so distant past.

Thank God for His mercy. And forgiveness.

Think P. Smart said...

This clown probably felt like David wouldn't whoop his hindparts because their friendship means more than a woman who wasn't David's spouse. But this is a glimpse into who Shawn really is. He's dangerous to keep as a friend. Who knows what other low down lies he is out here telling? Lies David and he other dudes never hear about.

Think P. Smart said...

Shawn gives no damns! He didn't care abt it being blogged about. In fact, he is probably somewhere basking in the attention.

Think P. Smart said...

There are some women who would be vulnerable to this. They mess with Shawn out of spite for David. But those women are messy! But grown, self-respecting women don't sleep with friends out of spite!

ShaiUnfiltered said...

I've been ruminating. How did Shawn think this was gonna go?  Chele opens door in either a Blanche Devereaux peignor or a pair of Vickie Secrets and a smile...welcomes him with open arms and an invitation to the Bougie Bedroom? 

CaliGirlED said...

 I shudder at the thought!

EvolvingElle said...

I had to read this a few times. 

Can I just say this is a hota**mess.com?  There's NO way Shawn thought that this was cool and Chele would have run lovingly into his arms.  Somebody's been watching too many fairy tales...or was on that stuff.

CaliGirlED said...

Angry and hurt by one of many of my ex's escapades I contemplated seeking out and sleeping with of the guys he played basketball with. Not one of his friends, not anyone I knew, but someone who would want to brag to him about it. And THEN I woke up! I wasn't about that and I wasn't going to let him make me be about that! But you're right there are women who will sleep with a friend out of spite.

Earthangel172 said...

WTMF! Am I reading this right, Chele?!

"You owe it to yourself and to me to give it some consideration."  Entitled much? This entire story is pure phuckery. I'll let myself out.

EvolvingElle said...

YES!  I was thinking the SAME thing!!! This is another (sad) case of deja vu...

CaliGirlED said...

 His mercy kept me! I hear ya Tisha! *clears throat* But excuse me while I judge for a few more seconds. ;-)

EvolvingElle said...

And there it is...

daisy said...

So I'm the ONLYEST one who went back to find the Bougie Bachelor Chronicles: http://www.blacknbougie.com/search/label/bougie%20bachelor%20chronicles
with Shawn? The one were the the girl wasn't giving it up fast enough and the one where he and chick broke up in the middle of a dinner party? I mean, his track record has not been great. But even I didn't see this coming.
Just whoa.

blackprofessor said...

I can't stop shaking my head at this!

Bougieland, help me out. Wasn't there an earlier situation in which Shawn showed up with a chic that David dated/messed around with while he was dating Chele?

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

What the entire hell? O_O Nawl, man. Just nawl. Not a baxide.

Jubi The Great said...

The Hit & Quit chick? Yeah I think that was Shawn...hmmmmm

Trey Charles said...

My feelings are hurt. That's all.

Earthangel172 said...

 1. It isn't nearly as flattering as the man thinks. 


2. It is uber creepy.

This!!!

tishatweets said...

My my my...*rocks back and forth like the Deaconess board at Ye Olde Baptist Church*

TypeALady said...

Scoot over friend...

Michele said...

I keep coming back too.  I can't even believe this ... not sure why because I don't know any of the players, but still ... you just expect better of some folks.

Mo said...

So Shawn lied too.  LeSigh! Like you said this issue should be handled offline. I believe in forgiveness,  I hope he acknowledges his misstep and  make amends.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 I figured as much when I read that mess. No way in hell would I have cosigned one of my friends committing such an act of fuggery, and I doubted that you would have.

Mo said...

"There are several feelings for which we should not act on."<~~~~~ this right here. I want to  marry President Obama  and Denzel  too.

Earthangel172 said...

 I totally forgot about this. O_o

Mo said...

You can't do all that  & be sober and your mind is not altered by some chemicals...

CaliGirlED said...

I bypassed that looking for the Vince/SEW story totally forgetting that Shawn was the culprit! Ok that's now twice that we (in BL) know of. I declare a pattern, that I hope after last night has been broken.

CaliGirlED said...

E-hugs to you cousin!

La said...

I am glad I read the comments first. Something about this didn't sound right. 1. Because men are territorial. 2. Because an 18 month investment in a committed relationship isn't something you pass along to the homies a couple months after it didn't work out.
 
First thing to be said is this: Chele you are a sweetheart. Because if anybody but Jesus shows up at my front door at 11pm on a Monday night, there will be issues and complications.
 
Now most importantly... I find it hard to believe that this is the first time in 20 years Shawn has jumped out the window for crazy. I know y’all love him, and I don’t know him, but I doubt this is his 1st violation. Just from the few glimpses into his character we've gotten on this blog, this doesn't surprise me. Trying to holler at a friend's recent ex, lying, stalking, using some dumb ass girl to breech your privacy... none of this is shocking from someone who has repeatedly proven himself arrogant and entitled. There's no nice way to say it; he's a snake. I just hate that you, and to a larger degree David, were the ones to get bit.

bashowell said...

I'm calling a Jesse Jackson Jr.-style breakdown.  That's the only explanation O_O.

suebhoney said...

WTH!!! Usually I lurk, but I had to come out and say again WTH!  "Crack is Wack" what the hell are they smokin?  Whatever it is they really need to get their money back !  Now Shawn... I just can't.  I would expect some crap like this to come out of his mouth, but I am soooo disappointed that David would even co-sign some crackhead ish like this. Dude for real? David you would really be alright with you "so called" boy hanging out with you ex? Sharing things ?  Again, for real?  where they do that at?  Ego's can barely handle the fact that there was some one before them, but your boy? What the hell is this... The Color Purple?.  And then he had the unmitigated gall to step to you with this mess?   Okay I just can't anymore... I'm sorry Chele you had to be a part of it.  (And I'm side eyeing Shawn.. why would he be the one to "step up"  is there something that Shawn ain't telling us-hmmmmm)   SN: I would have to step out of Bougieland for a few and make a quick trip to Ghettoland on David

Natasha said...

"Because if anybody but Jesus shows up at my front door at 11pm on a Monday night, there will be issues and complications." ----> This All the Day Long!!!!

NatashaBettina said...

Shawn, lurker here, sir I have questions. What was the thought process that went into knocking on Chele's door late at night? What part of you didn't already know her new address said it was ok to just stop bye? Sir, did you really say 'at least we can have some fun'? So many questions, Chele I pray all is well with you, Shawn I'm salty. I am not here for you sir. *returns to lurkerville*

Trey Charles said...

Sorry - Jay was the culprit that time. We lookin' real messy right about not.

Jubi The Great said...

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck....

CaliGirlED said...

"... jumped out the window for crazy."....La can always make me laugh!!!

CaliGirlED said...

We can always count on Trey for some clarity, good, bad or indifferent. LOL!!!...Side-eyeing you for that tweet earlier.

CaliGirlED said...

 *hollers*

Londa said...

Ok, so I re-engaged my bougie disposition.

I checked my calendar. To my chagrin today isn't April Fool's Day. Dang; this here mess is for real, for real.

I'm no longer cussing. Just utterly flabbergasted and thoroughly disgusted.

Mykeia said...

Classy, handling this offline.  Stay smooth. 

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Rest assured, David did NOT cosign this nonsense: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2012/08/the-sometimes-inappropriate-behavior-of.html#comment-624843051

Save the Ghettoland-style beatdown for Shawn, cuz he REALLY dug himself into a deep pile.

Lady4Real said...

Before I even dive into reading the 161 comments I got to put my 2cents in. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. At the wonderful age of 19 my oldest sons dad, who is now my soon to be ex-husband gave permission to his best friend to date me. He and his friend thought it was ok, I on the other hand did not. 1st he's my son's godfather, 2nd he dated my best friend, 3rd he is my exes best friend. I have alway held to one cardinal rule when dating, I don't date my friends exes and I don't date my exes friends. At the sweet tender age of 10 I determined this. WTF, really David and Shawn, really? SMDH.

suebhoney said...

Okay, Cool I really  didn't think he was that kind of dude.  Wooosaaaa!  I however would really question that "friendship" (lowercase F) .

J B said...

I can't even finish reading.  "On the shelf".

Seriously?

J B said...

 But how was he gonna lie and say David cosigned if he didn't?  Cmon now. 

Bryan Anthony said...

For those of you waiting on Shawn to show up and comment, I must report that he is recovering from being punched squarely in the mouth... a few times. These things happen when men "misunderstand" each other.
Apologies to @OneChele:twitter  and to BougieLand... carry on. 

OneChele said...

Oh. Welp.

Bryan Anthony said...

Yep. Remember how we laughed when you kept dragging Dave to cardio-boxing? No one is laughing now. One. Two. Down goes Frazier.

OneChele said...

Officially, my response is - violence is never the answer... 

Natasha said...

It bees like that sometimes.... Thanks Bryan for the update.

He should've been punched in the mouth, nose, and upside his head for good measure... Ain't got the sense the Good Lord gave him...

Sol_dier said...

So, Shawn is that dodgy friend, the one you can't seem to understand why your boyfriend still hangs with him?.

Colour me NOT surprised. Seems like something he'd do and explain away like; 'heck I threw caution to the wind, I saw something good I went for it, you guys can't be mad at me for that'?
Well, they've let all his other transgressions go.. why would this be different?

I'd bet a fiver, Shawn is actually loving all this attention. 
It's kinda pathetic and pretty darn rude, but again not surprising.

Thankfully Chele didn't catch a case over it..

Mr. Skyywalker said...

True but it will shut down some bs quick as you please. See if he try it again...

C Nelson said...

Somebody at AT&T needs to be looking for another job tomorrow. If she'd do this to you, who else has she given out private details on, for the asking? Women get KILLED when the angry exes or fixated stalkers find out where they moved to; it was only LUCK that that wasn't what was going on this time. Please file a complaint and make sure she can't do this to anyone else.

Reading the comments, I see that David has vindicated himself, and Shawn ... I don't even know what to say about Shawn, let alone to, so you can just picture me over here with my hands on my hips and my mouth opening and closing like a fish. It's not even me, but I'm furious. Not to mention my skin is crawling and I am sick to my stomach with disgust. There is nothing in the world can make this scenario okay. Nothing.

Earthangel172 said...

 +1

Rob said...

Ri-ight?! #caseclosed

Rob said...

Wait tho - is that what he said? It was a misunderstanding? 
#nahson

CaliGirlED said...

 Soon to be ex-husband? *sighs* I thought I misread something you commented/tweeted a bit ago, I guess I didn't.

ClayJones said...

I want to say this is some young pup nonsense but aren't these boys on the other side of 30? I didn't even have to scan the comments to know ain't no way David signed off on this. Ain't. No. Way. 
Shawn lost his mind for a minute.

SingLikeSassy said...

 Oh my.

Lady4Real said...

I could have dated my exes best friend out of spite because my ex cheated on me with my best friend but my father raised me to be a bigger person, so declined the offer and made my ex and my friend look like the douchebags they were for what they did to me and I refused to do to them and I got to keep my friendships and diginity

Londa said...

I do not condone violence. But, I ain't even looking the other way on this on. The beat down was deservedly given.

SingLikeSassy said...

I'm glad it wasn't you. You always seem like a sweet  but misguided fella. <--yes I'm turning into my Grandma.

CaliGirlED said...

 Yep that's your official answer, stick to it! While I on the other hand guffaw at Shawn's lowdown triffling ass!!! A punch or two in the name of the bullshit y'all (GA Boys) don't even know about!

I'm not violent, but I truly believe that it gets the point across to the more than hardheaded. @MrSkyywalker:disqus he definitely won't be trying it up in that circle again! Bet!!! I'm all about forgiveness but he should be left in the outer circle of that crew hence forth and forever more!

CaliGirlED said...

 Thanks for the update Bryan!

TypeALady said...

Well hopefully when he stops impersonating a Looney Tunes character that got knocked out, he'll be able to go out and find it.  I'm sure he'll have plenty of time though, because his social calendar is looking pretty empty right now.

Mykeia said...

"Soon to be ex-husband"...be well.

Jubi The Great said...

Well I'd say that was warranted & deserved. I hope those punches helped knock some sense into him.

C Nelson said...

 If he's lucky, he'll have a nice little scar to remind him when he looks in the mirror that actions have consequences. I'm not so mad about him trying to get with Chele -- people have feelings. But to go about it with lies and a breach of privacy in the bargain, that's more than messy, that's downright predatory. One small step down from "you need a restraining order" predatory, in fact.

Jubi The Great said...

I'm with you Cali...

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