Thursday, August 16, 2012

Question - Do guys hate it when girls outshine them?


So I'm minding my own at Chez Starbucks last week when John and Annette come in. These two happy-asses The lovely couple said to hell with all the wedding drama, broke out to the Dominican Republic and got married on the beach without telling anybody. They're giving a reception/party over Labor Day weekend. None of the parents are speaking to them and they gives not one damn. Congrats! It's our second BnB wedding. Seriously, I'm bout to start charging up in here. Unless one of you finds me a husband. A good one. Mayhaps one who has some change jingling and is built like anyone on the Jamaican Track Team? I'm just saying. Anyone? Le Sigh, never mind.

But onto the point...

On their way back from the beach, Annette and John sat in the airport lounge with another newlywed couple. They were talking about the Olympics and how the American women really shone. Annette went on to say that she really felt that the Ladies Team USA outshone the fellas. The other newlywed dude got salty and said she was taking it too far. (Anyone who watched track & field has to agree with Annette)

John being John - he Googled the stats. For the first time ever there were more female Olympians than men for Team USA. Of the overall medal count, the women brought home 29 gold and the men brought home 17. Total medal count for Team USA? Ladies - 58, Gents - 45. Maybe I'm unclear on the definition of outshining? Cuz um... ur... uh? Scoreboard.

Anywho... when Other New Bride agreed with Annette, Other New Groom stomped off and apparently stayed tart for the flight home and on up and through customs and baggage claim. Other New Bride lamented on the phone to her mother, "He's so sensitive about the slightest criticism!" (Even when it's not aimed at him but at his gender? Really dude?) Other New Bride's Mom said, "You have to let men think they are superior in every way, even when you know they're not. That's the only way for marriage to work."

** flag on the play **

BougieLand, am I the only one (besides Annette and John) to call bullshiggity? Seriously, shouldn't a grown assed man be able to take a little criticism about himself and/or his gender without feeling like it's an attack? Why can't we just admit the American Women kicked ass in London and clearly it's time to hit a reset on some of those men's teams? Is that an attack on all Y-chromosomes everywhere? Fellas - are you really that fragile? Please discuss...

54 comments:

Mykeia said...

First congrats to John and Annette!  
I am sure that the reception will be nice and the family will be speaking to them by then--cake, food and cocktails make for a good time--celebrating the love!
The other new groom had some issues and needed a lesson on how to interact with strangers even when your upset.
People don't like to be out-shined--male and female.  The ego is a dangerous and fragile thing.   
Bad advice from new brides mom, just bad.
Morning all!

CorettaJG said...

Wait, John & Annette got married?!  Congratulations!  I hope they got lots of pics to share with the salty parents and us. Where is a Rob and Amy Jet Mag shot too? hmph.

To the issue at hand, yes, men hate when women outshine them.  Some are just better at hiding it than others.  In my day job it's always the guys who want to go on and on about their conviction or acquittal records and tell all these war stories.  Particularly if you had to relate something about one of your prior case to them.  I just stand there and wait 3...2...1.  It's not an attractive quality. Makes a person seem like he isn't confident in himself. 

As a former 400m and 100m hurdles state competitor in Louisiana I was thrilled, moved, inspired and everything else by these powerful, beautiful women killing the track, breaking records and amassing enough hardware that if they were their own country they would have been in the top 10 in the medal count.  The women definitely had the brighter light this time. (Although when the camera panned down the line for the men's 100m I nearly spontaneously combusted. Good Lawd!  And Mr. Bailey? Have mercy.)

And this other newlywed guy reminds me of your girl's boyfriend who was salty that you were beating him at scrabble that time.  The one who  asked you to throw the game in his favor as I recall, or else her cocoa wasn't going to be right that night.  Foolishness.

Ricki W. said...

I've found that my hurt feelings about something that is tangentially related to me always connects directly with something I have going on that isn't always immediately clear to me or other people.  Maybe that's the case with dude.

Now I'm going to watch that women's 4x100 relay for the 1,000th time. 

GuessImJay said...

First *fist bump* to John and Annette. That's how you do it!
Second, no - we (the males of the species) ain't that damn fragile. It's fine when ya'll shine, really it is.
What we do hate though? Is when you are right and we are wrong and you won't let us FORGET IT.
Yeah. We hate that.

CreoleSoul said...

"[S]houldn't a grown assed man be able to take a little criticism about himself and/or his gender without feeling like it's an attack?"
Yes!  A grown-ass man -any grown-ass adult, really- should be able to take a passing comment (let alone a decent amount of criticism, cuz that's all the Olympic medal comment really was...a passing observation) without feeling like it's an attack.  Sensitive-ass reactions are really just telling of a person's...well, ya know what, lemme not go down the pop psychology road.

But yes...quit frontin', face facts, don't take it personal & keep it movin'.

Jubi The Great said...

Congrats John & Annette! Chele, when you gon open a Bougie Matchmaking Service? *cough* you know, for those of us who need it...

Newlywed Dude really was tripping - there must be some backstory to him getting all upset over a general comment. Is he a former athlete? Missed out on a trip to London by thismuch? Something...

thinklikeRiley said...

Lookie here, I gotta enough real-assed issues to be sensitive about without worrying about random ish. Those women (bless every single one of dey fine selves) got it in. The fellas on USA Track stood around looking confused and beat. Facts iz facts.

John and Annette - we can't get no video? Instagram round here?

Chele - if I knew a bruh worthy...

Jason P said...

Dude that sensitive needs to move back home with his mama. Stat.

Natasha said...

Congrats John and Annette!!!! 

Now for the other Newlywed Dude... this dude would be tart/salty with me for either 2 or 50 years... Ain't Nobody Got Time for this type of attitude and behavior.... #NoCountryforUnnecessarilySensitiveDudes

keishabrown said...

What we do hate though? Is when you are right and we are wrong and you won't let us FORGET IT.
Yeah. We hate that.
fair enough. 

keishabrown said...

the wedding planner in me approves of Annette & John's nuptuals. TOO often, couples get stressed out (and go broke) trying to make EVERYONE else happy. Do. Y'all. 

the parents will get over it (eventually, i don't know birth order of these peeps). 

as for the other guy? yeah... i smell issues in that marriage unless she is able to follow her mom's advice FOREVER. 
-_-

Mo said...

Congrats to  John & Annette!  A friend did the same thing 3 years ago. Her mom was tart, but she got over it when she told her the money she saved on the wedding  will be used to build her   a nice home in the  country side.

Sending serious side-eye to that groom at the airport.

William Martin said...

I'm confused - was dude an aspiring Olympian? Did he use to date an Olympian? Girlie called her mother about her new husband? There's a whole lotta "issues" with the two fo them. God Bless.

Congrats John - you two were not even playing around!

Sol_dier said...

Congrats to the newly weds! May you live long and prosper :-) 

USA women athletes shone brighter than the sun out here. World records were broken, flat rippling 6 pack stomachs were envied, plus thank you to the top heavy 3rd leg relay runner for representing! our 'top heavy tribe salute you.

Boys can't take criticism of their 'tribe' whatever that tribe may be. (football team, bball team) whatever. 
I feel sorry for the wife, her life is about to become hell on earth. 

Men on the other hand are a heck of a lot more rational, they don't the defeat of one man as a blow to all manhood. 

MsJamie14 said...

Awww...congrats to John and Annette. Black N Bougie love is so beautiful.

Good luck to those other newlyweds. Men who pout are so not the business. LOL

Jeannette said...

I feel sorry for ol girl already her honey bun a** husband needs a healthy dose of self-esteem!  How dreadful will it be to sugar coat everything you say to this man and to practice on how to speak to him.  Too exhausting! Better her than me.  And to answer the question?  YES.MEN.LIKE.TO.WIN.  Women need to understand and accept this is how they are wired.

GrownAzzMan said...

I don't know the relative ages of anyone involved but from my seat in the luxury box it sounds like Other New Groom needs to Grow The F^*k Up (GTFU). Maybe it's too many years of dealing with some white folks but I can't with anyone's false sense of superiority.

GrownAzzMan said...

*fist bump*

JaymeC said...

I'm side-eyeing the hell out of Other New Bride's Mama - what kind of jacked up advice is THAT?

Many happy returns to John and Annette!

GrownAzzMan said...

I agree with the liking to win part. I just don't think most of us stomp off like 5-year olds when we don't...

Leon X said...

Congratulations to John and Annette!

Didn't women athletes outnumber male athletes? It would make sense that they would win more medals, right?

CaliGirlED said...

*stops reading* ' ' '\O/' ' '  Congratulations to John and Annette!!! Way to go! Damn the wedding, now on to the marriage and life together! I LOVE IT!!! May God bless you with many happy and prosperous years together!

CaliGirlED said...

BULL-DAMN-SHIGGITY!!! Poor Other New Bride! *stops and says a prayer for her* She is headed toward a life of misery, self-doubt and self-worthlessness, pulled by her husband and pushed by her mother. God help her!!!

As far as the USA Women's Track & Field Team, ' ' '\O/' ' ' kudos all around!!! The men performed well, but numbers don't lie, the women kicked butt! The.end.

PatriciaW said...

Congratulations, Annette and John!

Lamentations Other New Bride and Other New Groom.  Getting off to very rocky start. Not that they can't recover from that, but it's going to take HARD work.

Sol_dier said...

Men lie, Women lie, numbers don't - Jay-Z - 21st century street scholar and ex street pharmaceutical rep

Angel on a Quest said...

Yay for Annette and John!!! I love BnB love!!

Other Groom was tripping...hard...and Other Bride may want to reconsider asking her mother for any advice, as it's not even worth a free phone call to get.

Finally, I'd like to add my name to the list; find me a husband--Chele's criteria sounds good to me! ;)

CaliGirlED said...

 Oh shoot, there's a list forming??? I'm after Angel!

Cyn said...

Congrats John & Annette.

Chriscogmta said...

you just called ol buddy a honey bun.  funny as all get out!! outta line, but funny!!!

M Dot said...

I'm going to go ahead and call bull as well.  She's going to be right sometimes (read: probably more than you). She didn't call you half a man, she merely pointed out the obvious.

Oh and grow a thicker skin, playa. It's OK for a women to let you have it every now and then. Public example : Pres O and the first lady. She needles him him from time to time in interviews.  

About the Olympics....
I was both happy and salty watching the Olympics.  Some friends and I discussed how the US Men's track team has fallen off. We used to OWN track. This year, we didn't even have a finalist in some events. My feelings are hurt.PS: Heyyyyy Allyson Felix. Ditto T'erea Brown. see y'all in Rio.

Chriscogmta said...

New Bride's mom just gave her daughter the worst advice EVER! really?! your daughter calls with a red flag, with plenty of time to get the marriage annulled, and you lace her up with that foolishness!  Ninja Please!

The issue of men needing to feel superior to women is a cultural issue that won't change in any of our lifetimes.  Everything young men see, from cartoons to commercials shapes the idea that you are only a real man if you stay winning. and any man or men losing, but ESPECIALLY LOSING TO WOMEN is blashpeme.

digal704 said...

Um other dude straight tripping! I mean was he on the Mens team ?

Trey Charles said...

Dear Other New Groom,
Your deep sense of inadequacy is showing. Please leave and adjust yourself prior to returning to the room.

Thank you,
The Brethren

aishao1122 said...

Can I just throw in that Jamaica owned the games this year??!?!?!?!? Men AND Women??? Yeah I had to do it

aishao1122 said...

I got next lololol

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Congrats to John and Annette! :D Sounds like they had the wedding of my dreams, and I wish them a very long and successful marriage. :D

As for Baby Boy Groom? Side-eye, Sir. Side. Eye.

Angela said...

Somehow I think they're going to be living with her.

TrulyPC said...

Congrats to the newlyweds!  A wedding just the way you want it is the only way to go.

Baby Boy's wife will have a hard road.  I don't believe in making myself small so that my SO can feel superior.   I only deal with M-E-N not little boys playing pretend.

Jeannette said...

That i do agree with!

Jeannette said...

If it looks like it's glazey and cinnamony like? I call it a honey bun :)

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

No, you are the only one to call bullshiggity.  Real recognize real and some of these Y-chromosomes are looking real unfamiliar. Dudes should not get their panties in a bunch if someone points out an area where they can improve, or an area where someone else is better. Having bunch up panniedrawz is hating, and we all know how some fellas love to proclaim that is exclusively a feminine trait. O_o

But I really do think men are that fragile.  All.of.them. Now, a good number have grown and learned how not to have tantrums or get in their little fee fees when things don't go their way, or they get called to the carpet, or whatever.  But some of them dudes? No country for overgrown chirren with no behavior.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Oh, and Congrats John and Annette!

Chele, let me know if you set up a service for real, because I most certainly have need of someone with your magic touch.

C Nelson said...

She told her daughter what? ... I didn't know they still made women who believed that line. Worst advice ever. Or at least right up there. I need ONG to remember he's way past puberty, and ONB to keep that escape bag packed. If this is how you start, the chances of ending up anywhere good are so, so slim.

Also, huge congrats to John and Annette!

nylse said...

Don't let your feelings be hurt; its the nature of sport.  the Bahamas beat the americans in the 4X400 - shout out to small countries....(yes that's my country)

no comment said...

That is how I want to say I do BUT I don't want my mama to kill me dead so I will go with a very small destination.

Interesting comments 

SassyJJ said...

Congratulations John and Annette!

Anonymous said...

Congrats to the newly weds wishing you many yrs of wedded bliss!!!
Ok now to the foolery exhibited by big little man! Pardon me please I've been on this rodeo before lol yes where inspite of all the facts dude takes it so personal if the S/O takes the opposite side. I actually think this has been a discussion here on BnB and if memory serves me right the general consensus was that you do not ever get on the opposing side of you S/O in public during a discussion. I beg to differ…Case in point the example above or rather this particular post. Esp when there are facts to contend with well not really this are FACTS! Am a little tart about this subject coz it has happened to me on more than one occasion which really opens a whole can of worms for instance the fact that you can really have a discussion with a group of people and dude say “oh that’s one of the qualities that attracted me to you” lol he however forgot to follow up with a disclaimer …”on condition you do not oppose my points in public well actually as long as you do not oppose my points period!” No bueno Chico No country for little little men!!!
Ps: I think dude in this case was pissed because wifey took sides with the “opposing team”.

tiffanyinhouston said...

Congrats to JohnK and Annette!!! I'm going to need a guest post of how everything went down..can we get that next week, pls??? #demanding

On another note, my husband said he married me because he knew I was smarter than him in some areas and would probably keep him from doing something dumb. So there you go.

I feel sorry for that Other New Bride.

CorettaJG said...

Same here Keishabrown! I find my deep south brides are still running around with a wedding party of 12, but many of my clients are having smaller ceremonies, smaller wedding parties and even choosing to do the elopement (like I did) and have a big celebration later.

Annette Kendall said...

Thanks for all the well wishes. That wedding was turning into a royal mess and ex-s/o's started threatening to show up. Who needs that drama? We're married which is all we wanted in the first place. :-)

CaliGirlED said...

 And there it is there! Congrats again!

Sol_dier said...

advice like that is advice worth cutting someone off over. I have a low threshold for people who damn other people to hell. (that includes family) Cos if you are still giving advice out like this: then you are a dangerous individual

@yo_q_crush said...

Wow that is a recipe for a bumpy marriage... if he is going to pout/run off/ignore his wife anytime the male gender is slighted in society, she better get those papers ready, because God forbid him directly being slighted, it may turn into WWIII

The women did their thing in the Olympics, as Americans we need to celebrate that rather than be divided on some petty bs.

Dude needs to go sit on someones leather couch and cry out how he wasnt hugged as a child

One Chele said...

Wow that is a recipe for a bumpy marriage... if he is going to pout/run off/ignore his wife anytime the male gender is slighted in society, she better get those papers ready, because God forbid him directly being slighted, it may turn into WWIII

The women did their thing in the Olympics, as Americans we need to celebrate that rather than be divided on some petty bs.

Dude needs to go sit on someones leather couch and cry out how he wasnt hugged as a child

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