Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Dear White Male Repubs, Say What Now?! Yours Truly, Magical Sperm-Repelling Uterus Carriers


I know, I know - it's just not fair, Joe Biden can get up and talk about folks being put "back in chains" and we shrug. "Oh that crazy-assed Joe, he didn't mean anything by it." William Jefferson Clinton can sling his presidential penis every which way but loose and we just wag a finger. "That Clinton is one scandalous sumbitch. But so damn likable!" Obama can soft pedal minority initiatives that we clamor for him to front burner and we sigh once or twice. "At least the brother is trying."

But White Male Republicans (WMRs) gets NO love from the community. Not the Black community and not the majority of women of voting age. Why? Because we don't trust them. We don't. We've had a front row seat to their long-standing effort to dial our (women and minorities) progress back to the Dark Ages and we wants none of it. Bush 1, Bush 2, Reagan - in my lifetime these have not been kindler, gentler Republicans. And lately they appear to care less and less about me and people that look like me. 

Even so, I find myself a little nervous about the upcoming election. You know after G-Dub straight jacked the country from Gore and posted up for eight years, I have to hold my breath at election time. Apparently anyone with a decent lawyer, a governor in his pocket and a wad of cash can flip an entire state's worth of electoral votes and declare themselves the winner of a Presidential race. So no matter how the popular vote goes (and let's face it, Mitt and RyRy aren't so very popular right now); this whole game could be changed up.

But God Bless the GOP. They keep finding ways to alienate entire swaths of folks in one fell swoop. It was bad enough that Rep. Todd Akin opened his mouth to declare than in cases of "legitimate rape" women's bodies had a mechanism to prevent pregnancy. [More on that in a second] But his own party can't get him and others that agree with him to STFU and GTFOH. What's that about? Dems that step knee deep in shiznit round election time (see Andrew Weiner for reference) get the hook off the national stage with much immediacy. The WMRs are arrogant with theirs. So what if he pissed of an entire sex, he gonna run dammit!

Where did these guys take SexEd? What magically sperm-repelling uteri are these and where oh where can I trade mine in for one? Believe me, if women had a way to choose which sperm made babies and which got the eject button? Woo, boy! Whole different ballgame. Prepping for the cocoa stir would take on new levels of anxiety. Let's see, do I reject or accept the sperm this evening? "Sweetie, before we do this? Imma need to see your test results, last three tax returns and the genetic code of your family for the last three generations." 

I really tried to figure out what exactly a "legitimate" rape is and I can not twist my mind around it. Perhaps I misunderstand the definition of the word rape. What the hell would legitimize it? And while Mittens and Ryan attempt to distance themselves from Akin's sinking ship, we have to look at a bill that Ryan sponsored seeking to redefine rape and only allowing abortions in cases of "forcible" rape. Isn't all rape forcible? Does a woman seriously need to prove intent in this day and age? When you are putting words in front of "rape" they should be "don't" or "convicted of" or "heinous act of" or "statutory" - don't try and get all fancy with rape. It's brutal, it's ugly, it's simple - don't jazz it up. No means no. Rape is rape. Leave it alone.

The bigger question here is who exactly are these conservative WMRs appealing to? Okay you've got some rich asses, some right wingers, some Tea Partiers, some rednecks and some old-school Klan but aren't you pissing off their wives and girlfriends right bout now? Has the Republican Party decided to run on a ticket of "Well We Ain't Bout Shit But At Least We're Not That Black Muslim Obama"? Is that what it's come down to?

I also wonder - who are the handlers on the Republican side of the aisle? Don't they have access to the same talent as the Dems? Is no one controlling the national message? Education, defense, healthcare, jobs, national security - are they for it, against it or for it if it's done their way (which is how exactly)? Color me confused. The Republican message is convoluted and messy right now. I'm missing the main idea, and I've actually been trying to listen. I couldn't tell you even with a cheat sheet what they stand for. Tax dodges? Private islands? P90X? Tanning Spray? Besides saying no to any and everything Obama sets in front of them, I don't know what they're about. And that scares me tremendously.

Therefore I'd like to respectfully request that they speak plain. I need them to spell it out. Oh, don't get it twisted... I'm not voting for WMRs on the state or federal level. Not sure about locally, I have to check out the tickets. But I feel like I should have a better idea of what you're working with, what you're striving for, what you're trying to do besides protect your money, control my magic uterus and send me back to Africa. By the way, I'm of Caribbean descent so if ish go bad in November, may I request extradition to Barbados or Trinidad? I'm just saying...

BougieLand, help me out. What the hell are the Republicans talking about? What's the master plan? What drugs is Akin taking? What were your thoughts about the redefining of rape and how it was handled in the media? Is Paul Ryan a good addition to the Romney candidacy? Are we all so fatigued by this campaign that we wish it was November 7th already? Thoughts, comments, questions...

42 comments:

Cyn said...

I choose Barbados too.  The family home is waiting for me.

You said all the things I wanted to blog this morning.  I am both disgusted and absolutely terrified about how this election may turn out. There message is very unclear but all my ears here is "put em back on plantations" and "turn them back into our property".

thinklikeRiley said...

Men of any color, age or persuasion should never ever comment on the female reproductive system and what women should do with it. Ever. Like not nan never. 

MrsT said...

"Well We Ain't Bout Shit But At Least We're Not That Black Muslim Obama"

MrsT said...

Hit post a little too fast-- what I was trying to say: 
"Well We Ain't Bout Shit But At Least We're Not That Black Muslim Obama" --That sounds about right.

Penny said...

 That sentence pretty much sums up this election.  How sad!

Bryan Anthony said...

Soon as you figure out the Republican platform - please share with the group...

TypeALady said...

There isn't one...now back to your regulat scheduled programming.

GrownAzzMan said...

"Well We Ain't Bout Shit But At Least We're Not That Black Muslim Obama"
#1 selling t-shirt at the rebub convention?

GrownAzzMan said...

Mitt's whole campaign.

GrownAzzMan said...

I just have to add this. Todd Akin is on the House SCIENCE committee. You can't make this (stuff) up...LOL

quinne said...

like many have said, they have no legit platform. Whats scary is that they have plenty of supporters who will be cast aside if elected and are able to past desired litigation.

As I have gotten older i have lessened my grip on the "support a policital group just because" mindset and transitioned to the thought process of who represents my best interest, sadly with the republican party so many are hell bent on getting that "gay loving, muslim, who isnt a real citizen" out of office they will settle for any one but him in office even if it is a dunderhead like Romney.

Also to touch on the lack of accountability within the GOP i think thats why so many people want to give them the middle finger wave. You disrespect the office of president, they make racist/sexist comments but because they have deep pockets and control alot of america people are scared of them. Its like the class clown, even his friends know he is a distraction but until someone says STFU he will continue to act an asss...

 to the ignorant members of the GOP __/ __/ __/ have a damn seat and shut up please so we can focus on rebuilding the country to benefit ALL

CaliGirlED said...

"Well We Ain't Bout Shit But At Least We're Not That Black Muslim Obama"...I think this pretty much sums it up!

I don't profess to be politically savvy. Ok let me be honest, I HATE politics and usually avoid reading about and discussing it. Call me what you will....

What I do know, CLEARLY, is that every time, since I have existed, when the Repubs have been in office, the economy where I live has been bad. All bad. Like shopping (in the early 80's) at Zody's bad. My Cali folks will understand that one. The Republicans are never for the Blacks, the women, the poor/middle class. All of my life I haven fallen into this category. And should I ever strike it rich someday, I will still be in 2 out of 3 of those. :-/

I just deleted all of what I was about to say...Bottomline, until there's a Repub candidate that shows concern for the people, as a whole, not just one or two specific groups, I will ALWAYS vote for the Dems.

CaliGirlED said...

Forcible rape and legitimate rape? I guess as opposed to forcing your wife/girlfriend to have sex; taking it from a hooker and not paying; getting hot and heavy and then she says no. These are not legitimate rapes. And in these situations, should a woman get pregnant, she should not be able to abort the fetus. Never mind if she can afford to take care of the baby, that's what the welfare system is for. Oh but should she go on welfare, then we'll label her as a useless member of society who is just sucking up our tax dollars and raising up another human to be just like her! And if you are a victim of legitimate/forcible rape, then use that thingy in your uterus to block the sperm and all will be well with society.

Yep, makes sense to me! :-/ 

Natasha said...

It will be interesting to see how white Republican women and the elderly vote this election.  We're talking "legitimate rape" and the official gutting of Medicare.  President Obama will be freezing the .5 that government workers were supposed to receive in 2013 after two years of a pay freeze and Paul Ryan is saying the pay freeze should be extended to 2015. 

I pray the election is not close because republicans know how to steal an election.  They have perfected that.

David Chase said...

Sad to say, I think the non-strategy IS the Republican Strategy. If they don't necessarily commit to anything before the debates, nothing can be used against them. And then after the debates, any spin on what they declare will be blamed on the "liberal" media. It's actually brilliant in its ignorance. Kind of like - better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. That's probably taped to Romney's mirror.

blackprofessor said...

 No way on God's green earth!

blackprofessor said...

I would say their agenda is - No country for gays, minorities, women and poor folk.  

invectiva said...

 This.

Pretty Primadonna said...

I am so glad I am not the only one who can't believe these clowns are running on the "Not that Other Guy" platform.  I mean, really, GOP?!

JoycelynC said...

I asked the other day when ignorance became something to aspire to on FB.  Once upon a time it used to be a good thing in this country to be smart and thought of as smart.  Now, I guess because one of the smartest people is brown, people seem to be tripping all over themselves to say out loud all the dumb things they used to just think.  I hope one day being smart can return to a good thing if only for the fate of our country.    

TrulyPC said...

I hate politics because in its current state it isn't about better lives for ALL.  It has been designed to be used as a weapon to continue status quo. 

The republican strategy is just to throw any idiotic crap at the wall to see what sticks and then work their way out from there.  The infrastructure of this country was built with the while male ideal of re-imagining the facts about the issues, the people and the country as a whole as many times as necessary until they get their desired effect.  Don't think that deplorable Akin comment didn't resonate with their "tried and true".  This election season makes me nauseous because repubs have already shown that they don't care about destroying the country and that they will do and are capable of ANYTHING.  

Nandiewe said...

 It does defy logic doesn't it?

Nandiewe said...

 This is pretty much my take on it.  Their strategy/agenda seems to be make it easy to suppress the masses and keep a ruling elite.

motown_skater said...

voter suppression is real! be sure to know what has changed in your state when it comes to these new i.d. requirements.

Whitney said...

The plan is to take us back to 1930, sharecroppers, maids and what they think is our place.  All I can say is encourage everyone you know to make sure their voter registration is up to date according to your state and vote. I live in MO, so it's Akin all over the damn place...they actually interviewed a woman who not only supports him, but will throw a party in his honor.  That old money and what it can do....

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I can't guess what their end-game is, but best believe I'm keeping one eye on what's happening from JamRock.

Earthangel172 said...

Are we all so fatigued by this campaign that we wish it was November 7th already?I am!  Romney does not have a strategy. Period. His campaign is filled with fear-mongering and rhetoric. As for the WMR, they just want "their" country back. And if I hear "we need to take our country back..." one more time, I am going to scream! It will be interesting to see how close this election race will be though. We can't afford to have another stolen election.

Earthangel172 said...

" It will be interesting to see how white Republican women and the elderly
vote this election.  We're talking "legitimate rape" and the official
gutting of Medicare." 

Great point! I do know that some people are "Republican" in name only. I hope the "legitimate rape" comment doesn't resonate with white Republican women. One of my co-workers told me privately that if her husband knew she voted for Obama in 2008 (and will do so again in this election), he would probably divorce her.  LOL

Earthangel172 said...

The doors of the church are now open.....

CaliGirlED said...

I dated a guy who is a Republican but voted for Obama. I really think that he's a Repub just to be rebellious, but knows good and hell WELL that they don't give a darn about his Black hindparts!

CaliGirlED said...

I'm ready for it to be November 8th, but at the same time am afraid of November 7th!

Mo said...

I can't wait until November 7th,  we are in that silly stage of politics, folks just saying anything even if it is ridiculous.
One of the worst ruling SCOTUS   ruled on was Citizen United, pretty much one can  buy their way into the office.
Paul Ryan  is good to the extent that he will excite Tea Party,  otherwise his  medicare bill he introduced   has  holes in it and his budget...  not enough time to break  it down   piece by piece. SO much for him being a fiscal hawk.
 
As a catholic, I have a  problem with  the church telling me what  I can or can't do with my uterus ( so the republicans want control our uterus, gut  Pell grant and raises tax and get rid of ACA. How are we going to care for the babies(without a  great education----> not a well paying  job).  

What a woman does with her uterus is a personal thing. These guys kill me. The said the govt is all up in  our biz when FLOTUS  introduced healthy eating habits in school, but they turn around and tell you what  can't do with your uterus.
 
All I know people should show up on 11/7, because it is about to get real. First day of order they will be in  Syria and Iran and reverse ACA.

If Romney Paul ticket is elected ( I hope not), I want to see what they will do with China and Russia.... then again we already know  from previous admin, they will skate pass UN. Well,  with China and it's tandem all over the world, they have their work cut for them. Never mind the Europeans( EU) can't get it together and that is bound to drag US economy back.

Mo said...

Yet, these guys are bent on getting rid of  department of Education...the babies will learning kitchen science

CaliGirlED said...

 Dang did Mo just give us an accelerated poli/gov combo class real quick or what!

Mo said...

Their non-strategy agenda kills me, but if a bill is introduced they rebuff it. I mean how is Gov Romney running with no clear agenda and bullet points of what  he is going do with economy,  entitlements (other than reverse "ObamaCare") education, foreign affairs? Usually by this time in an election  candidates from both parties have  a detailed agenda.  Just urghh.

Will give Ryan a nod, because I believe  he has introduced  something like 77 bills and co-sponsored like 200 bills. 
As much I want to go into policy making, I just can't with politicians.

CorettaJG said...

Let me just say that I am spent from the diatribe I went on yesterday on my FB page, particularly when a blast from my high school past attempted to justify the entire "legitimate rape" debacle.  

Suffice to say, as a prosecutor and defense counsel I've worked with numerous victims and complaining witnesses and there is no such thing as "legitimate rape."  There is raped. Not raped.  But no "legitimate" rape.

This public peek inside the mind of a sitting Congressman and his ilk is...frightening, to say the least.

aishao1122 said...

money set aside for plane ticket if ist goes wrong on election day i'm out, I barely survived dubba i'll be gotdamned if live through the handmaiden's tale with romney. 

aishao1122 said...

i almost went off on an ex, then i had to thank him for reminding me why he is an ex. I can't be dharma to his republican woman hating greg, just can't. i asked him what would he do if it was his sister or mom who was raped .. situation got real then. yeah legitimate rape or forcible rape it's still effing rape.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 And if they follow that plot to the letter, you know that being made into breeding machines would be the least of a Woman of Colour's problems. >_<

rozb said...

I wanna know what portion of my lady parts secretes those "special secretions" that differentiates between consensual rape and forcible rape. I think my Biology and physiology class did not point that out on the charts. 'Cause Lord knows I have had all these parts all these years and need an old, White, male to tell me about this stuff.

RiPPa said...

This. Was. Epic!!!!

Seriously, this entire post gave me life. Very refreshing read, Chele. Thank you for sharing it!

As for the GOP? They haven't changed; they're still short on ideas; and they still love them some Jesus. That said, it is their thirst for days of old that seeks to have women popping out babies like Jiffy Pop. You see, because according to them, if you're a woman, Jesus wants your heart and to see you barefoot, butt-naked, and pregnant with a baby hanging off of a titty while baking biscuits in the kitchen. That whole legal abortion thingy just ain't gon' cut it; to therm, y'all women folk done got a bit too uppity. Yep, it's bad enough that their, "B*tch git in the truck," pickup lines don't work anymore. So hey, maybe the best thing for them is to legitimize rape, and ensure that Becky n'em don't get any ideas like having an abortion. They have to carry on their bloodline somehow, right?

Let them tell it, Obama is paying black folks to have babies and sit at home.

Duchess K said...

Repubs are the weapons of mass destruction that couldn't be found in Iraq. They are out to destroy hard working Americans because they don't work hard enough and take women back to 1916! Idiots. Please register right now and in a hurry and submit a early ballot if they are playing games with your voting poll. These people must go! Local and state elections matter every year... 

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