Tuesday, July 03, 2012

These young uns today...


BougieSis and I were chilling at the Four Seasons Punta Mita. We've taken some fairly awesome vacations before but absolutely nothing compares to the uberluxuriousness, understated "what can I get you, Senorita?" wonderfulness that we experienced at this place. It takes about 40 minutes to get there from the Puerto Vallarta airport. It's a winding scenic drive with breathtaking ocean views and foliage along the way. By the time you get there, you are completely mellow. 

The Four Seasons doesn't play with a reception desk. A manager comes and seats you on a super deep padded sofa where you are introduced to the property. Until they ask for your credit card, you kind feel like you stumbled into a really nice house you get to borrow for a while. The property was so spread out, you have to take a golf cart to get your oceanfront casita. When they opened the door to our spot (larger than many apartments I've lived in), our mouths fell open. Huge bathtub, indoor/outdoor shower. Bed like a cloud. Fab decor. Can you say gorgeous?! This was the view from our back patio. 

All of this to say that by the time we went to breakfast the next morning, we were in a tranquil Zen state that very little could jar us out of... except for Ethan. Ethan was a tow-headed child about four years of age who clearly did not understand the concept of public versus personal space nor indoor vs. outdoor voice. Ethan was a hooligan whose parents thought it was cute to let him be free to express himself in any old kinda way. (I didn't express my true thoughts until I'd been out of my parents house for years. Years, you hear me? Anyway...)

For any of you who've been to beach locations you know it's never a good idea to feed the birds. Once they know food is free, they will dive bomb in Hitchcockian frenzies to get it. This did not stop Ethan from flinging his banana pancake about for the birdies. Pity BougieSis and I were at the next table and the birds didn't care that we weren't Ethan.

Ethan also thought it would be fun to run around the table (ours in particular) screeching at the birds. Ethan's father finally realized that BougieSis was contemplating assault and battery with a butter knife and hopped up to calm Ethan down. By then Ethan was ready to swim. Much whining and fit-throwing commenced. And then for some odd reason, they decided to stand right next to us while slathering Ethan's fair skin from top to bottom with copious amounts of sunscreen. Ethan did not like this and shared his displeasure loudly. 

Other children, seeing that Ethan was allowed to cut a fool, soon joined in the hooliganism. When one parent attempted to scold their hooligan, the child screamed "You can't make me!" BougieSis and I were stunned silent. We picked up the beach bags and headed over the "Adult Pool" also known as the "Quiet Outdoor Lounge" where we whiled away the afternoon.

Lookie here, I love kids. I really do. But back in my day (yeah, I said it) when we went out to eat, we sat at the table and ate and made polite conversation. Period. There was no running off. No flinging of foods, no demands for the last piece of bacon (yes, that happened). And whether we were at the table or not, we never (not nan once ever) raised our voices to our parents. I liked my head, I wanted it to stay attached to my body. I was Queen of the Eyeroll and even I knew to do it when backs were turned and folks were on their way out of the room. 

#NoCountryforBadAssKids

So I ask you, BougieLand - what's wrong with these kids today? Were you allowed to "talk back" to your parents? Were you allowed to interrupt/disagree/smart mouth any elder? Did you run free in restaurants? Inquiring minds need to know... cuz I just don't understand. 

74 comments:

Angela said...

I was raised the same and its the parents who want to be so different and free, but fail to see that they're setting themselves and their kids up in a bad way. I always get the your kids are so respectful 'cause I'm raising them the way I was, with respect. I had a neighbor who let her son just knock on the door forever and ask grown folks questions that he shouldn't have been. We've got grown children (childish, undirected adults) raising kids now. So, what have no direction, can't or don't give direction. I would have told them.

digal704 said...

This was a rhetorical question, right? My mama could/can just give me a look and I knew/know! My mama says, "your kids ain't cute to nobody but you".Truth! I think some people think that because they are cool with ish they kids do, society as a whole will be too! These are the same parents who feel their kids aren't being challenged by teachers and bad ass boys are just "all boy". I wish any of my kids would even utter some back talk to me!IMO, you need to raise your kids to be able to cope in society. Nobody is going to count to 3 when they issue them a directive and trust they can care less about your ADD, ADD with hyperactivity. For every job your kid can't or won't do, there are beaucoup that can and will!

LikeLena said...

*raises hand* I teach a whole bunch of Ethans and I have to tell you, what their parents let them get away wit is borderline criminal. Clearly, the problem starts with the parents who themselves may not have been raised with any level of discipline and structure. By the time we get to the Ethans, it's very hard to control. But I also lay down the law. I find that kids prefer rules and expectations, it's gives them something to strive for.

Foxy Brown said...

let's just say that once (and only once, cause i learned my lesson) my grandma smacked me so hard that i think she really did knock the taste out of my mouth...

AnnettePearl said...

How about we weren't really even supposed to talk at the table? Sit, eat, ask to be excused and let grown folks get on with their business. I see kids running around in restaurants and just wonder - huh?

William Martin said...

I'm in my thirties and my mama can still send me a look that has me taking a seat and muttering "Yes ma'am"

CaliGirlED said...

THIS RIGHT HERE BURNS ME TO NO END!!! I can not stand bad azz hard headed azz tantrum throwin azz kids! I was NOT allowed to act in the way of Ethan nor did I like to see other kids act in that way when I was a kid! As an adult? I am horrified by such activity and often shoot looks to the kids AND the parents when I encounter this.

At my church, yes the new one I've attended of only 2 years, I am now referred to as Mya's Mom Bootcamp. I love the chirens YES I DO, but they gone mind somebody and I have no problem if that somebody is ME! Mya cut one-half of a tantrum somewhere between the ages of 1 and 2, that was the last one, especially seeing how she didn't even get to finish it out! Hmph

Javalicious said...

I have a niece who liked to try me. She only tried me once. Her favorite phrase now "My auntie don't play that." No she don't. She really don't.

Man's World said...

Parents start handing out ass whippings with juice boxes and we wouldn't have these issues.

GrownAzzMan said...

I was raised the same way you were and I have passed that on in raising YoungAzzDaughter. The problem is not the kids and maybe not even the parents. Society has decided that discipline stifles development and creativity and way too many folks have bought into that. Whenever I am in situations such as you describe I just shake my head. My daughter even looks at me with a 'I could never get away with that' look on her face.

#AdultPoolFTW

GrownAzzMan said...

"I love the chirens YES I DO, but they gone mind somebody and I have no problem if that somebody is ME!"

^^^This right here!

Grace said...

Amen, GAM. Amen! Seems like society wants people to be all free-wheeling and loose without thinking about consequences. If not put in check, Ethan will be terrorizing the streets in about 12 years.

Angela said...

Apparently they learned nothing from the Spock experiment!

Lady4Real said...

*pulls out soapbox and stands on it, taps mic* This is the part of the game where parents who recieved justified ass whoopin's but thought they were unjustified grew up thinking, "I will never be like my parents" and raise their children completely left of how they were raised and end up with children completely left of their generation meaning these kids are all wrong, because they aren't being raised right.

Speaking for myself I grew up with 2 totally different parents with 2 totally different parenting styles. My mom kicked ass, like abusively. My Dad talked it out and if he had to give a spanking it was just that a spanking. I grew up respecting both and fearing both and not trying to cross either one. I vowed to not be like my mother and be more like my father so now my parenting style is lectures sprinkled with the occasional ass whippin' but my sons know that "Mama ain't to be played with." I'm 28 with a 13 and 10 year old and my sons are polite and helpful, they drive me crazy inside our home but in public they are perfect gentlemen. They say"sir and m'am". They open doors, they help when over a friends house, they understand that when they walk out my front door they are representing me and that they better represent me well or there will be hell to pay later.

Parents nowadays are so afraid of child protective services and the police that they back down from all kinds of discipline and its a sad shame. I'd rather I get locked up now so my child doesn't get locked up later, I can't get with the hooligianfoolery out here in these streets.

Imjustsaying said...

A 82 year old woman tries to stop a boy from harrassing the geese at a park in S.F. Ca. The father comes up and knock the woman down. The woman hits her head, and now in critical condition in hosiptial. SMH

Lady4Real said...

Girl, my niece gives my sister hell, even tries my brother and my mother but she knows better then to do that with me. She knows who she can with and who she can't with and she knows she can't with me. Smart little thing at 3.

CaliGirlED said...

They always know! My little cousins know, I am not the one! And I am always available to discuss with the parents what I said and/or did to their less than obedient child. You don't like it, keep "Ethan/Ethania" away from me!

CaliGirlED said...

 THIS^^^

CaliGirlED said...

"Society has decided that discipline stifles development and creativity and way too many folks have bought into that."...AMEN!!! *rocks back and forth*

"My daughter even looks at me with a 'I could never get away with that' look on her face."....*drops a fiddy in the collection plate*

"It starts out when they are Ethan's age and the next thing you know you
have a 15-yo telling you she is rolling out to a party at 1AM.
NOT.HAVING.IT."...*joins this church*

CaliGirlED said...

 All of THIS^^^

CaliGirlED said...

 Current woman abuser and future woman abuser in full effect! SMH

BlackLizLemon said...

OMG!  Lawd, please tell me you lyin'!!!!  

GrownAzzMan said...

"I'd rather I get locked up now so my child doesn't get locked up later, I can't get with the hooligianfoolery out here in these streets."

Say this!

BlackLizLemon said...

I wanna laugh, but only because I wasn't there, lol.  

True story:  When I was around five or six my parents used to take me out to Sunday dinner quite often.  I would sit, eat my food, color on the kids menu, read my little books and basically stay outta their conversation.  Lawd, I guess that was too much for one woman who actually had the gall to come up to my parents and ask if I was "retarded" with a straight face.  Who asks that kind of question to  strangers??  Apparently she thought I was slow because I a) was quiet, b) ate my food like a normal person, and c) only spoke when my parents spoke to me or if I needed my mom to take me to the restroom.  

Meanwhile, her granddaughter was a hot, sanctified mess, jumping up and down, running around the restaurant like a holy terror.  This woman had NEVER seen a child act like they had some sense and thought her granddaughter was normal.  Welp, she found out what normal was when my dad smooth cussed her ass out and told her to calm her little demon child down before HE whopped the granddaughter's ass himself.  Somehow my mom and this lady became friends after the woman asked for my mom's number and tips on how to raise a respectful child.  Ugh. 

thinklikeRiley said...

Ethan needs mo' (betta) people.

ishtar_79 said...

As much as THAT Four Seasons can cost I have no idea why children are allowed.  They could have taken that poorly trained hooligan to La Quinta, which is a far better place for families.

Anyway, we knew better growing up.  We could cut a fool in the house, but once in public we were expected to respect other peoples personal space, keep our fingers off anything that didn't belong to us, not to yell, and most importantly, follow directions.  I'm not sure what's wrong with parents these days.  I'm starting to think it has something to do with attention span.  Most folks these days can't pay attention or dedicate themselves to something for more than 5 minutes and it's reflected in their parenting style.  My parents were RELENTLESS when it came to consistency until they saw the behavior turn into a habit.

J B said...

 At least the woman was able to recognize a problem and seek a solution.

Me, I'm known to trip lil kids running through Walmart. Which brings me to a different question: why don't these kids watch where they're going?

TypeALady said...

This chick said "Ethania"...I really can't with you today Missy.

BlackLizLemon said...

I'ont know.  The fact that she asked if somebody's child was "retarded" means she didn't have any home training herself.  

BlackLizLemon said...

Yeah, I'm wondering who the hayle takes a 4yo kid to a resort in Mexico.  Seriously?

GrownAzzMan said...

You owe me a keyboard! I just spit strawberry smoothie all over this one.

BlackLizLemon said...

One of the benefits of having a Vietnam Vet daddy with a serious case of PTSD, lol.  My dad has checked numerous kids acting a hot ass mess and he would DARE the parents to say something, because they knew their kids were little demon spawn.  Plus, he always had that crazy look in his eyes, lol.  

TypeALady said...

Yeah, no, I come from the school of thought that my parents were not my friends although we could be friendly.  Daddy was in the military and ran the house like a high functioning squadron.  My Mother would just give you 'the look' and it was a wrap.  There was no talking back and every incorrect action resulted in a most stellar corrective reaction.  I wouldn't change a thing though and if I'm only 1/2 as great to my kids as they were to me...my chirrens will be just fine.

CaliGirlED said...

 *hollers yells gasps for air*

CaliGirlED said...

"My Mother would just give you 'the look' and it was a wrap.".... I know this look all to well! And so does my daughter. (Although the first time I gave her the look, she gave it right back to me. I corrected and her and then ran and laughed my ass off!!! It was too cute, but I couldn't let her know it!)

GrownAzzMan said...

You can get a lot done with that crazy look in the eyes...LOL I wish POTUS would use it to stare down these repubs one good time...

BlackLizLemon said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  I swear it's even worse now that he's retired and likes to wear his Marine fatigues and "Proud Vietnam Vet" hat everywhere.  This is also the dude who brought a pistol, a shank AND a stun gun to my Master's graduation, so yeah...

CorettaJG said...

SMH.  I want to spank the parents almost more than the kids.

Lady4Real said...

I be tempted as hell to do that but afraid that a parent will come ragtag my ignant ass, lol

Marioned said...

I confess I have taken my son to many 4 star Hotels and resorts at young age!   HOWEVER, he would never be allowed to do what this kid did. We had inside voices and actions and I could give him a look  that he knew mean't STOP in your tracks.  I often had people come up and compliment me about his behavior.    Also this kids was 4: re old enough to know better, IF properly trained.  Blame the parents they have set the tone! 

Jubi The Great said...

*sigh* I hate hate hate when people take their badass kids to places that aren't appropriate. A well-mannered kid at a fancy restaurant or hotel? I wouldn't even give it a second glance. But it's always the parents of the badasses who feel like they can & should be able to take their kid EVERYWHERE & then are oblivious when said child(ren) are acting a damn fool. What happened to people actually PARENTING their kids? I know I can't be the only one who got that "act up in this store & I'm tearing your behind up" speech from their Mom. And that is why my siblings & I acted like we had some damn sense, cause a whooping from Mom was the last thing you wanted.

Jubi The Great said...

WHY do ppl want to take their badass kids to expensive places? This just blows my mind.

Jubi The Great said...

I turn 30 on Friday & my siblings & I still say "yes sir" & "yes ma'am" to my parents. My parents didn't play.

BlackLizLemon said...

Yaaassss!!!!  I got the "pep talk" before every outing, grocery store, restaurant, didn't matter lol.  Pull up to the parking lot, shut the car off, and then "I'm only gonna tell you this one time, and one time only, so you better listen, and listen good..."

Mykeia said...

Thank you!  This is my pet peeve...this is why people are banning children from restaurants.   

Mykeia said...

Oh my...damn. The world really is coming to an end.  How sad.

Mykeia said...

Oh J B, we need to be friends!  Tripping those bad ass kids while they are running when they shouldn't be is PRICELESS.

Mykeia said...

"
This is also the dude who brought a pistol, a shank AND a stun gun to my Master's graduation, so yeah..."  Ohhhh...

TrulyPC said...

I had a elderly couple walk up to the table (after they had stared during their entire meal) and ask how old my daughter was (she was about 5) because they had never seen such a well-behaved child.  She sat and colored waiting for her meal and then ate her meal and remained pleasant and respectful throughout.  These people were every bit of late 60's so I found what she said disturbing.  

Mykeia said...

Home training.
My son is always trying to bring his friends from his other house over to mine (I am a step-parent) and I introduced him to the term home training some years ago--so now when he calls me before I can even say it he says, "Yes they have good home training, they no how to act."  I am like good because I do not want to embarrass you or your friend for lack of manners in my home or in a store.  

Ms. LTB said...

 What?! I got that same pep talk.  Did yours end with "don't touch nothing, don't ask for nothing..."?

I call the bad/disrespectful/are you sure that's a child kiddies "birth control".  Every 10 minutes I spend with them teaches me self-restraint (sometimes when you know the kid it's hard not to step in and take care the problem) and reduces my mother's chances of EVER becoming a grandmother. 

I'm 31 and I STILL don't voice my FULL opinion to the majority of my adult relatives.  I give the edited version (if that) and I doubt very seriously if the majority of them have ever heard me use any language that could be considered "adult".  You couldn't pay, bribe, or threaten me into doing anything on the list of things which I was sure would result in some form of trouble - unless of course it was something I'd already decided was well worth the punishment *shrugs*.  I'm well aware of "the look" and although currently childless, I plan on instilling the exact same level of let's call it respect in my unborn un-conceived currently unlikely to occur children.

Ms. LTB said...

Love the "I'd rather I get locked up now so my child doesn't get locked up later".  That's llove and sacrifice.  Some of these parents are going to get BEAT UP later when these kids outgrow them because they have zero fear and zero respect for them.  It is sad when a parent comes to Court asking for protection from their kid.  I've actually seen a few ask for PERMANENT injunctions from their child.  I've been tempted a many a-times to ask for the court file because I can't even imagine the types of situations that make a parent not want their child to contact them again for the rest of their life.

Ms.LTB said...

 BOL at one-half of a tantrum imagining the tantrum being cut short as reality kicked in LMBO

TrulyPC said...

I am a mother and I never tolerated my daughter behaving like she was possessed.  Flew back home yesterday after a wonderful vacation and I had never been more happy to get off an airplane in my life and that is with me comparing it to a flight that I thought would have me a the pearly gates a whole lot sooner than planned.  How does a parent allow their child to continually kick the seat in front of them and not say a word to them or the person that is being kicked??? Only AFTER I flashed a death stare did they say something to him and then apologize to me. 

BlackLizLemon said...

LMAO!!!!!!!  My mama wants grandbabies soooo bad and I'm like, "Have you seen all these bad ass kids running around?"  No ma'am!

BlackLizLemon said...

Exact quote: "I used to run these streets, I know how these fools get down."  Yeah, he's special. 

C Nelson said...

Gleah. You know, I don't have so much of a problem with children acting like small children, if it's just energy. Running around? I don't care -- I honestly think half the problem is that kids don't get the free time and freedom to wander the neighborhood with friends and climb trees and build forts from scratch and play hard like we used to do when I was a kid. I mean, I was bookish and a girl to boot, and even I climbed my share of trees. Whenever I start feeling like *my* every minute is in company and planned down to the half hour, I certainly start wanting to run around like a mad thing too.  Screaming, though? No sir. And if you KNOW your small child isn't grown-up-space friendly, why TAKE him there? It's no more fun for him than it is for everybody else. There are places you can take a child to let him run around to his heart's delight without bothering anybody -- a park, a McDonalds play place, a playground. 

daisy said...

Our speech started with "Do NOT embarrass me up in here!" and ended with the hard stare. we just knew better.

Guest said...

"But back in my day (yeah, I said it) when we went out to eat, we sat at the table and ate and made polite conversation."
When I was a child, my mother would not let us speak during meals period.  We were only allowed to eat.  I remember her saying once (when I interrupted a conversation between adults) that children were to be seen and not heard. I never made such a mistake again.
Caribbean parents, the best!

Angel Blanca said...

I was turning green until I read about Ethan and his brethren/sistren. Yeah, I trip kids like that so they fall flat on their faces...people tend to see the walker/canes and think it's an accident. I am so serious about this.

I blame the parents, though, because we knew that our parents would take us to task for acting like we had no "home training" while out, so such behaviour was anathema.  I was more afraid of what my parents would do than I was ever inclined to have my own way, at least after the first time I let loose in the public.  Besides, I thought my mama was crazy.  One time, my sister and I fought over whose turn it was to wash the dishes, and my mother was sleeping. She got up, said not a word to either of us, and proceeded to throw every dish in the house in a trash bag and drag it out to the dumpster. She came back in and got back in the bed. We tiptoed around the house for the next week, barely whispering to each other. Two weeks later, new dishes arrived. We didn't know that she had already ordered them when she threw the old ones away, and we never argued over washing the dishes again. The end.

GrownAzzMan said...

"Yeah, I trip kids like that so they fall flat on their faces...people tend to see the walker/canes and think it's an accident. I am so serious about this."

She smooth tried to slip that past us...LOL

Just Ang said...

Im sad to say my god daughter is one of those crazy bad ass kids. I dont know what the heck got into that child but I dont play that. Its night and day when I have her out and when my friend, her mother, takes her out. It truly comes down to the adult. I dont play that cutting a fool in public with me and Kylie knows it. 

But her mom and her dad? Chile its hopeless. 
I dont know what to do with any of them. But I do know one thing, I refuse to have a hellion for a god daughter.

CaliGirlED said...

 You know I laughed at that one!

CaliGirlED said...

"I was more afraid of what my parents would do than I was ever inclined to have my own way,"...That's the problem, there's no fear of what's going to happen! We KNEW better!!! These kids threaten with 9-1-1 calls and what not. I wish a n...Oh I mean my daughter knows that's not an option. *snickers*

Brneyed1 said...

"don't touch nothing, don't ask for nothing..."  and ended with "try me, ya hear?"I tried her...once.  NEVER. EVER. AGAIN.

Brneyed1 said...

A woman I used to work with received a visit from CPS based on a call from her daughter.  My co-worker invited them in, and then proceeded to pack up her daughter's things.  When her daughter arrived home from school, she handed them her daughter's suitcase, and said goodbye to them all.  The daughter was crying and BEGGING to come home the next day, and freely admitted to the CPS counselor that she'd made up the story about her mom beating her because she was angry about being put on punishment.  Chirren need to be taught not to play like that.

Brneyed1 said...

"How does a parent allow their child to continually kick the seat in front of them and not say a word to them or the person that is being kicked???"  Really though, HOW??  I'd snatch a knot in my child's behind!!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 "Somehow my mom and this lady became friends after the woman asked for my
mom's number and tips on how to raise a respectful child.  Ugh."

Takes me back to the Boondock's episode, where Granddad taught a frazzled white mother how to take a belt to her demon-spawn child.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Please tell me Daddy's chilling in the clink.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 And then the parents have the nerve to get upset. Not everyone finds screaming, spoiled little hellions endearing, and some folks (surprise surprise) want to enjoy their meal in flipping peace!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Run free in re - not if I wanted to stay alive! Not long after this, you're going to see parents of Ethan's generation on Maury for one of his "I'm Afraid of My Children!" episodes. Or "The First 48". Or "COPS". You see where I'm going with this.

CaliGirlED said...

 I loved that she packed up her things! LOVE IT!!!

Traci_Simms said...

 Someone who can't find anyone to care for their child while they went on vacation. Would you volunteer to take that demon spawn  for a week? Yeah, I thought so.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Amen. Best non-hormonal birth control devices ever - other people's hyper-devil kids.

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