Sunday, June 17, 2012

Just let the man have the big piece of chicken today...


It's Father's Day. And I always was and steadily remain, ten years after his passing, a Daddy's girl. For the past few years on Dad's Day I've posted tributes to BougieDad and other fathers of his ilk - committed, caring, concerned, involved fathers. I've enjoyed it, even while navigating the "my dad wasn't about shiggity" or "my baby daddy ain't nuttin'" backlash.

Woo-sah. I get it. Some fathers ain't bout that life. But if I may, let me just say this. Single Moms - today is not about you. Mother's Day was last month. Yes, I understand that some of you are doing the work of both mom and dad. Yet and still, take a step back and let the fathers who are deserving have their day. Can we please?

I actually heard that there are some Father's Day greeting cards for single moms - just stop it. It's one day. A lot of us have to struggle through it. People have lost their dads, have tortured relationship with their dads, don't know who their dads are. Baby daddy ain't doing right, can't be found, doesn't show up on today of all days... there's a lot of emotional upheaval. Be that as it may - let the Dads who are doing what they can do have their day. 

Tomorrow morning is time enough to cuss ole boy out, bitch about yo raggedy daddy from back in the day, all of that. Chris Rock jokes in one of his routines about Daddy not getting the love. How it's all about Mama and making her feel the love. How all Daddy wants at the end of the day is a little love, a little silence and the big piece of chicken. For one day, ladies - let's take a seat and let those worthy of praise be praised. Give dude the big piece of chicken. Just one blogger's opinion...

Happy Father's Day everybody.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

You cannot comment or have a meaningful opinion until you have lived the life of a single mother. Or a child who has to live knowing everyday that their dad CHOSE to walk out on them. So I told my mom today happy fathers day, because she's doing the job that that man could not. She took the role of being father, therefore on fathers day, that should be recognized.

Anonymous said...

And also, many worthy dads were appreciating today. No complaints can be made about that. A worthy dad would be told.

ClayJones said...

Let the church say... Amen!

rozb said...

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there - Bougie and otherwise! Hope your day is filled with sports, BBQ, bad ties, and corduroy house shoes (the ones with the hard bottoms so you can go get the paper). May your beer always be ice cold, your favorite chair always be free, and your life filled with love, caring, and respect. Oh yes, please be kind when you open up that bottle of Aqua Velvet, Brut, or Old Spice bath kit.

Thanks Chele for a weekend post I can actually respond to before its too late!

Jubi The Great said...

 I really don't understand why people get all in their feelings about Father's Day. Some folks need a timeout & some therapy to heal their issues on the subject of fatherhood.

Happy Father's Day to all the BnB fathers! :-)

thinklikeRiley said...

All of this. Preach on it.

LikeLena said...

I agree. It's a day. Let the dads have it. Seriously how hard is it to let 24 hours belong to someone else? 

Leon X said...

As a father with no children of my own I support this post.

MeetCharlieL said...

Not a Dad yet but I completely agree. 

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

My father wasn't shiggity either, but that doesn't give me the right to crap all over Father's Day. Some people had poor mothers, but folks would be madder than a wet hen if anyone ever disparaged Mother's Day for that or any other reason.

Dang, father's get ONE day in celebration. You have 364 days to cuss the deadbeats out.

blackprofessor said...

Chele, I am so with you!  I was in Ruby Tuesday's yesterday and my waitress said "Happy Father's Day if you two have kids!" Me and my girlfriend were her like WTH?? I said "Listen, you are talking to a bonafide daddy's girl and even if I were a single mother, the day still wouldn't belong to me."  For some reason, that encounter didn't sit right with me but this post showed me why.  I appreciate and acknowledge that what my dad did was different from what my mom did.  She gets a day and he gets a day, end of story.

Happy Fathers Day to all BnB fathers - past, present and future!

Javalicious said...

Exactly this.

Rob said...

Just found out today that I'm going to be a dad in about seven months! Greatest Father's Day gift ever! Thanks @appleberrymia 

OneChele said...

Aw! It's the first BnB baby! Congrats @RobertBleek & @appleberrymia 

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

 Awesome! Happy Father's Day indeed!

ASmith said...

One of my friends, also the only child of a single parent, called and asked me if I had called to wish my mom a Happy Father's Day.  I was quiet for several seconds because the thought had literally, despite all the conversation on twitter, never occurred to me.

I said, "no.  My mom did the work of 2 people, but she's just my mother.  She's not my father.  I love and appreciate everything, but I let her know that regularly."

I just think we need to find another way to acknowledge the hard work of the single parent.  I saw someone on twitter lament that we don't offer to wish single fathers a Happy Mothers' Day and we don't.  Would never see a card about it, either.  Let the Fathers out there have their day for crying out loud.  I'm certainly not one to tell people how to celebrate a holiday for themselves -- especially because I believe Daddy issues are real -- but your need to mourn the lack of daddy in your life doesn't need to impede others wish to celebrate their fathers.

GrownAzzMan said...

Congratulations Rob and Amy!

tiffanyinhouston said...

 Congrats Rob and Amy!

Melzie said...

I totally agree. There are 364 days of the year to complain and tell the world why the father ain't worth a dime. Let those who have done the right thing for theirs (and often others) and the dads by other titles (uncles, grandads, etc.) who stepped into the role based on their love and concern for another have their day.

CaliGirlED said...

 LOL!!! You are such a nut!

CaliGirlED said...

' ' '\O/' ' ' Congratulations to you both!!!

CaliGirlED said...

I received a Happy Father's Day text from a cousin. Still not sure if that was the typical "single mother" thing, or just a general mass text. Either way I gave a side-eye because heffa this is my first Father's Day without my father!!! Anyway...

Happy Father's Day to all the BnB fathers (of whatever kind) and the fathers-to-be!

blackprofessor said...

 Congratulations!

Brenda Kay said...

Congratulations Amy and Rob! Such wonderful news. 

CaliGirlED said...

 Yes indeed!

Anonymous said...

It's all Hallmark bs. I could do without MD & FD. I'm a parent btw. To each his own though.

Whitney said...

I was a Daddy's girl too, and agree about letting dad's have their day. I posted on my Facebook page to all fathers that we love, appreciate and need you. Thank you for setting the record straight.

motown_skater said...

....let the Dads who are doing what they can do have their day. <<<<<amen!!! 

i celebrate my brothers and friends who are fathers, those who stand in the gap of missing biological fathers and the memory of my father.....dad's deserve a day too!!!

Monica said...

 Congratulations!

Monica said...

I agree, Chele.  I don't know where the whole wish mother's a happy Father's Day thing started but I don't like it.
#justletdadsbegreat

invectiva said...

 W0000 congrats!!!!!! :)

Michele said...

I feel the same way.  My daughter wished me a Happy Father's Day and while I know why she did it, I wish she wouldn't have.  I am not your father. 

Angela said...

Yes! And YES! again.

chriscogmta said...

i am one the cats that wishes his mom a happy fathers day.  Normally I just give her a card or something.  This year i called with my kids and had them wish her a happy fathers day.  She was not happy about it, AT. ALL.  She told me to take the phone off speaker and could tell she was talking through her teeth (grown as I am, I still got nervous!) After cursing me out, she let me know how uncomfortable it made her and how she would rather focus on how proud of me she was on this day. 

It was the first time I got it.  I realized it wasn't the compliment I meant it to be and she had just put up with my foolishness for all these years.  So from here on out, I will just enjoy being a dad and celebrate with the others out there handling thier business and  not focus on the lames!! 

Marioned said...

Like you I am a Dad's Girl all the way.  My Dad is also deceased and I pray that I live the kind of life that will allow us to meet again. I celebrate all the wonderful fathers in my life still.  And  I never got that Happy Fathers day Mom thing. 

But a friend explain it to me in a way I can accept.  She said she is prasing her Mom for doing  double duty and the hard road she had doing it.    It is an acknowledgement outside of Mother's Day for that very reason.   I am never against anyone that want's to lift someone up.  It is not at the expense of Fathers.  On another note I have custodial Dad that does hair and ballet recitals that I wish  Happy Mother's Day .

The Tall One said...

Yes, brother! My mother raised my brother and me after my parent's divorce and she made sure that we loved and respected our father. Never did we say "Happy Father's Day" to our mother. I never even thought to say something crazy like that. My mom didn't and doesn't need a card or a phone call on Father's Day to acknowledge all that she's done for us. She's proud to be our mother and a good woman to boot, the heck she needs to a Father's Day card for, she's not our Dad. Nobody should be keeping tabs. P.S. Your mom sounds cool.

Mykeia said...

Congrats!  Love to you both!

CorettaJG said...

Congratulations!!!

The_A said...

I'm so late but this deserves the utmost cosign. Thanks Michele!

I raised a beautiful brilliant child as a single mom and I think this whole thing is a terrible excuse to throw shade on men. I never saw it as double duty I see it as my responsibility as a parent. Moms have our day & the father's are entitled to theirs. Yes entitled.

How many moms would stand for a #DoBetta lecture & a thoughtless gift on Mother's Day? I know so many amazing Dads that are as good if not a better parent that some of us moms - & I'm only talking about the mom's that are bringing the A game. It seems to me if one truly believes there's a #YouAin'tShiggity fatherhood epidemic then it would behoove us all to honor & celebrate the ones who are doing it well.Cheers to all the wonderful amazing fathers - married, single, w/ custody & without, steps, grands, & greats who are doing all they can & doing the best they can to be present loving fathers to their children! Shout out also to the incredible father figures who are also stepping up big!*Clapping it up for fatherhood*

dedicated to my Daddy, may he rest in peace

socamom said...

Late, but it always bothered me that they only have these cards in the "Mahogany" line of cards at Hallmark... 

Natalia Ivanova said...

It's so wonderful when there're such warm relationships between a father and his daughter.
http://dateprof.hebergratuit.com/ 

Rosalind G said...

I was always a Daddy's Girl - looked like him, had his "ways", and everything. My mother died when I was 13, so although I probably ran his blood pressure up with my grief-fueled rebelliousness (back-talking (up to a point) and not doing my chores - I didn't dare try to sneak out) he endured me and never raised his voice or hand to me. He always had an open-door policy, no matter what the subject was or how old I got. When I'd worked through all of my angst, he and I became VERY close. My daddy died when I was 28. I'm 41 now, and I have missed him every single day of the last 12 years.

Speaking on this phenomenon of single mothers trying to claim Father's Day as their own, I do not approve. I was actually in church one Father's Day, and the pastor had all the fathers come up for a special alter call (he'd done the same for the mothers on Mother's Day). Don't you know that some of the single mothers had the nerve to go up there, too?!

I was livid! I don't remember if the pastor said anything to the women, but I do know he didn't make them go back to their seats. I ended up being salty at the women for trying to grandstand and the pastor for not speaking up.

And, let's not even talk about the graphics single mothers put in their Facebook timelines. Good grief.

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