Today, we have a letter from Rae. She and E decided to move out of the Friend Zone and take the relationship to the "next level" but now she's seeing a few changes she's not sure what to do with. Take a look -
Hey Chele,I have a question for you. I'm writing cause I'd love to get your feedback & the feedback from the BnB'ers on a situation in my life right now. So I've had this friend, E, since 2005. For years we were just e-friends, we would email, IM, text, etc but we were on opposite coasts so we hadn't met in person. Over the years we developed a very close friendship & we told each other a lot. We finally met in person & there was a lot of chemistry...so much that we decided to be in a relationship, with the goal of us being the same city within the next year.
I absolutely adore him, I love him & I love our relationship. There's just one problem - something has shifted in our relationship since we went from being just friends to being bf/gf. His interaction with me isn't the same as it was when we were just friends - he seems to be more territorial about me. Is this what happens when you go from friends to romantic relationship? Can you date a friend & have nothing change about the interaction? Was it wrong for me to expect that nothing would change?
Thanks a bunch! Rae
Hmm. To answer your questions in order - Yes, No, and Yes. :-) Since you two already had a solid foundation, once the clothes came off or the love was declared, that's all in. Once you go all in, the game gets serious. A man is entitled to be a little insecure in the beginning. Before when you didn't return his phone call for a day because you were out with your friends? Cool. Now - where you at, mami? The fact that you don't live in the same city just intensifies that insecurity. He's all in, he wants to make sure you are too. But I'll turn it over to BougieLand.
Good people, what can you expect to change when you move out of the Friend Zone and into LoveLand? How much leeway do you give in the beginning of a relationship for a bit of insecurity/jealousy/territoriality? What can you do to make it better from a distance? Thoughts, comments, insights for Rae? Do share...